Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Ducksley.

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Man With US Map Tattooed On Body Injured in Bar Fight

Police say unidentified 28 year-old sustained contusion to Homer, Alaska and swelling around the Florida Panhandle.

written by Ducksley, 05 February 2013

Keith Richards to Open Theater in Branson, Missouri

Aging rocker says, "It'll be like an old fashioned hayride in the English countryside...except with booze and heroin."

written by Ducksley, 01 February 2013

Attorney Gloria Allred To Sue All Men For Repeatedly Leaving Toilet Seat Up

Class action lawsuit will involve 155,000,000 American men, said celebrity attorney, who appeared on national television with sobbing female client.

written by Ducksley, 01 February 2013

Correspondent Ali Velshi Stomps Off Set After CNN Cuts Him Off to Cover Ashlee Simpson's New Pixie Cut

"First they let John King and Wolf Blitzer do all the cool hologram stuff instead of me, and now this," he fumed.

written by Ducksley, 01 February 2013

Surgeon General Warns Against Using SlapChop For Circumcisions

"Doing so dulls the blades and it will squish your tomatoes next time you use it," warns Surgeon General Regina M. Benjamin

written by Ducksley, 01 February 2013

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