Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Glen Jacobs.
Show all snippets.
Showing page 1 (of 3 pages)
Tyson Fury to retire for good but only for five years.
Defeated Tyson Fury stated last night he is to retire for good but only for five years, or three years if the money is right.
written by Glen Jacobs, 19 May 2024
Evian to open spring water drive thru
The spring water giants Evian are to open there first drive thru in the UK selling nothing but cold mineral water. Norwich will become the first of 13 locations planned to open.
written by Glen Jacobs, 18 November 2023
Oxygen linked to staying alive.
Scientists in the UK have discovered a link between Oxygen and staying alive. The ground-breaking discovery was made by the same team who discovered a link between walking and leaving the house.
written by Glen Jacobs, 30 January 2023
Third man dies after being prescribed Miracle cure.
Three people have now known to have died after being prescribed the miracle cure from Doctors in the UK. It has now been banned in Britain and has been replaced by Paracetamol.
written by Glen Jacobs, 30 January 2023
David Cameron to be sanctioned after quitting as PM
David Cameron got himself sanctioned by quitting his job as Prime Minister live on TV. When asked did he regret bringing sanctions in, he declined to comment.
written by Glen Jacobs, 26 June 2016
Facebook launches new family proximity app.
Facebook on Monday unveiled a new app which alerts users to family members and spouses located within 100 yards, encouraging them to start a conversation or even a relationship.
written by Glen Jacobs, 22 August 2015
Facebook loose members to new offline social media service called pub.
The new offline social media service called pub which allows friends to interact in a building and drink beer has been launched in the uk.
written by Glen Jacobs, 18 July 2015
British banned from committing suicide in switzerland.
The British will be banned from committing suicide in switzerland from May 2016, However the Swiss Government will allow the suicide of British MP's.
written by Glen Jacobs, 18 July 2015
Google buys Venus.
Internet giants Google are reported to have bought the planet Venus for an undisclosed fee. No one was available yesterday for comment.
written by Glen Jacobs, 18 July 2015
Home and away to merge with neighbours.
Home and away are to merge with neighbours turning it into one show. The new soap is to start in the new year and is going to be called your neighbours are away ..
written by Glen Jacobs, 08 December 2014
Queens speach not on this year.
BBC and ITV Bosses have decided not to show the queens speech this Christmas and instead show a party political broadcast by UKIP. The queesn is thought to be upset by the move.
written by Glen Jacobs, 06 December 2014
Wonga.com accidentally gave customer good deal.
An inquiry has begun at Uk's biggest online moneylenders after a customer was accidently given a good deal on a loan. Director Ray Self stated the problem has been fixed and rip off rates are back.
written by Glen Jacobs, 07 October 2014
HMP Bullingdon's graffiti problem "not me" says Rolf Harris.
A graffiti outbreak at the prison were Rolf Harris is serving six years has infuriated Prison staff, asked what the graffiti drawings were of officers replied "we cant really tell what they are yet"
written by Glen Jacobs, 06 October 2014
iPhone 6 breaks up into little bits when hit with hammer.
Another bad day for Apple when it was discovered that when there new iphone 6 was hit with a hammer it breaks up into little pieces. Apple who were made aware of the flaw declined to comment.
written by Glen Jacobs, 28 September 2014
David Cameron considers spare toilet tax.
Spare toilet tax is being considered by the government in a move which could see more money being extracted from the poor. Labour are furious with the plans.
written by Glen Jacobs, 28 September 2014
Britain's first food bank supermarket opens in Hull.
Britain's first food bank supermarket opened yesterday in Hull and owners say they plan to open another 12 by next year.
written by Glen Jacobs, 27 September 2014
Jimmy Saville to be questioned by police through a meduim.
Police are to question Jimmy Saville over alleged crimes he commited when he was alive through a meduim. Savilles family are said to upset by the idea.
written by Glen Jacobs, 27 September 2014
Guy Suing Subway Over Sandwich Length.
A retired engineer from Norwich is taking sandwich makers Subway to the high court for serving a Chicken & Bacon
ranch melt 4mm below advertised length. Subway added " the man is a prat"
written by Glen Jacobs, 26 September 2014
Driving age moved forward in UK to 58.
In a bid to ease congestion on British Roads the Government today have moved the driving age forward to 58. Anyone caught driving below 58 faces immediate prosecution.
written by Glen Jacobs, 25 September 2014
Man botches suicide.
A man from east London was in a critical condition last night after he attempted to hang himself with his own braces but ended up smashing his skull into the ceiling. He was found by a neighbour.
written by Glen Jacobs, 25 September 2014
Man stuck in lazy body.
A man from Hackney who had his benefits stopped for refusing to work yesterday won a Court case against the DWP after his Doctors told the Court that he was a very active man stuck in a lazy body.
written by Glen Jacobs, 25 September 2014
Special lane for people who like to text while walking.
The Government announced there will be new lanes on all the roads in the UK for the people who chat on their phones while walking. Only people with smartphones will be allowed to use this lane.
written by Glen Jacobs, 25 September 2014
60% of all bottled water is diluted.
Bottled water is the world's fastest growing beverage, but consumers would be better served by simply turning on the taps as studies show 60% of bottled water may have been diluted.
written by Glen Jacobs, 25 September 2014
Psychics predict world didn't end yesterday.
Yesterday a top Psychic predicted that the world didn't end the day before. And strangely enough it didn't.
written by Glen Jacobs, 23 September 2014
Showing page 1 (of 3 pages)
