Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Ossurworld.

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Catfight Between Rajon Rondo and Kris Humphries

Not since he was knocked out by Kim Kardashian has Kris Humphries been in such a tough fight. Rajon Rondo and Humphries chpped their manicured fingernails during the bout.

written by Ossurworld, 29 November 2012

NBC Peacock Replaced by Turkey

The New York Jets auditioned for the role of the new NBC peacock during the NBC football game of the week.

written by Ossurworld, 23 November 2012

New York Jets Perform Impossible Feat

Like a turkey gobbling to save his life, the Jets flew up their own tailpipe on Thanksgiving.

written by Ossurworld, 23 November 2012

Rajon Rondo Disdains Duck Tape

With a high ankle sprain, Rajon Rondo refused to tape his ankle for the big game, choosing to go with a high tech bondage machine that improved his condition within one day.

written by Ossurworld, 18 November 2012

Red Sox Play in Molasses

Always less than speedy, the Boston Red Sox GM Ben Cherington proved the front office is also slow by missing out on big trades, letting every available player go to Toronto.

written by Ossurworld, 18 November 2012

Flagrant and Foul: Rajon Rondo Pins Dwyane Wade

Two NBA players who wear clothes no one would put on a clothesline collided when Rajon Rondo pinned Dwyane Wade with an arm extension in the NBA opening game.

written by Ossurworld, 31 October 2012

Lebron in Gold, Rondo in Pink

Rondo's fashionista rival donned a pair of kicks not quite as garish as Lebron James who found a new use for frankincense, myrrh and gold: he had them woven into game shoes.

written by Ossurworld, 31 October 2012

Red Sox Officially Done for Season

David Ortiz thought the team was officially eliminated when he decided to take a powder in mid-July.

written by Ossurworld, 17 September 2012

Toxic Cloud Moves from Fenway to Gillette Stadium

Patriot QB Tom Brady denied, after losing to the Arizona Cardinals, that he and Wes Welker were eating chicken wings in the clubhouse before the game.

written by Ossurworld, 16 September 2012

Boston Red Sox For Sale?

Fans have been scouring eBay for the listing. We suspect price of the team will include free shipping.

written by Ossurworld, 13 September 2012

Bobby Valentine Ejected Again!

Many fans thought he was auditioning for the lead role in the HBO series The Walking Dead, which is likely to be his next job.

written by Ossurworld, 13 September 2012

"Sweet Caroline" Replaced in Boston!

For the rest of the season Red Sox fans will be encouraged to sing-along with Bobby Valentine in a spirited rendition of "Over the Rainbow" at Fenway Park.

written by Ossurworld, 12 September 2012

Mayan Calendar Message Revealed for Red Sox

Experts re-reading the Mayan calendar now realize that the glyphs show empty seats at Fenway Park in 2012, not an asteroid as originally thought.

written by Ossurworld, 12 September 2012

Confidential Waiver Wire Leaks in Boston

According to MLB sources, there were more waiver wire disclosures during August at Fenway Park than leaks in the men's room.

written by Ossurworld, 11 September 2012

Only Tom Brady's Nose Knows

Tom may be in the nose for news department and out of the runny nose department after he took a knee to his proboscis during a game Sunday.

written by Ossurworld, 10 September 2012

Patriot Gronkowski's Spike Goes Awry

Looking like David Copperfield (the magician), Gronk went to spike the football after his latest TD-and the ball had mysteriously disappeared. He looked in amazement at his empty hands.

written by Ossurworld, 10 September 2012

Red Sox Commemorative Bricks Fall in Value

Once considered gold bullion to Sox fans, the famous Red Sox bricks now are being painted yellow for the new Wizard of Oz promotion at Fenway.

written by Ossurworld, 09 September 2012

Move Over, Mr. Blackwell! Rajon Rondo Joins GQ

Gentleman's Quarterly, a fashion Bible, has hired Rondo to write about fashion. It must be his Star Trek jersey that sealed the job.

written by Ossurworld, 07 September 2012

What is Hoomananwanui?

It's the sound of Bill Belichick laughing at sportscasters trying to pronounce the name of his football player.

written by Ossurworld, 06 September 2012

Red Sox Manager Checks Out!

Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine has checked out--at the local supermarket at ten items or less line. He had 11 items and threatened to punch the store manager in the mouth when he was stopped.

written by Ossurworld, 06 September 2012

Patriots Coach Bill Belichick Seeks Refreshing Waters

New England's football genius has learned there is no Brian Waters, hot, cold, or running in Foxboro this season.

written by Ossurworld, 05 September 2012

Bobby Valentine's Breakfast with Red Sox Owner

According to witnesses, Valentine ate crow, and owner John Henry had cream puffs that he threw at his manager.

written by Ossurworld, 04 September 2012

Mitt Romney Plays Ball with Barack Obama

After President Obama compared himself to the Miami Heat, Mitt Romney told an audience he was named after a baseball glove.

written by Ossurworld, 04 September 2012

Red Sox Pallbearers Arrive in Seattle

Unfortunately for Bobby Valentine, there are no dearly beloved.

written by Ossurworld, 03 September 2012

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