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Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Les Being.

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New cancer wonder drug

It's called "Libya". Only got three months to live? Try Libya, you will live for at least two years longer and remember, its government approved.

written by Les Being, 27 July 2011

English Olympic village on time and on budget

David Cameron said; "This just goes to show what can be done with English tax payers money and East European labour"

written by Les Being, 27 July 2011

Barack Obama in emergency talks to secure US debt deal

Obama said; "I've seen the film Greece, we don't want that to happen in America"

written by Les Being, 24 July 2011

Newcastle woman accused of biting boyfriend's testicles off

She denies any wrongdoing saying; "It's all just bollocks"

written by Les Being, 24 July 2011

Murdoch's wife speaks of love for husband

Me love you long time Mr Lupert

written by Les Being, 20 July 2011

Murdoch ends up with egg on face

No wait a minute, looks more like a custard pie

written by Les Being, 19 July 2011

Alcohol best cure for dementia

Not for the patients, for the carers. A new study shows that drinking two bottles of vodka puts patients and carers on a level playing field.

written by Les Being, 18 July 2011

News International offers new apology

We got caught, what a bummer!

written by Les Being, 17 July 2011

Mystery surrounds fifteen lorries found at bottom of Beachy Head

In other news. TomTom apologize for "slight glitch" in their latest sat-nav software update

written by Les Being, 17 July 2011

Unmarked Essex Police car involved in crash

This is not the same headline as yesterday; this is another police car crash.

written by Les Being, 17 July 2011

Essex coast dredger uncovers WWII mine

Bomb disposal experts need to perform a controlled explosion on the two thousand pound device. Canvey Island chosen as it is the least lightly place to suffer damage

written by Les Being, 16 July 2011

British Inelegance latest victim of budget cuts

A spokesman for MI three and a half said; "That's not funny"

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

BBC journalists stage one day strike

If that's true; who wrote the headline?

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

Schwarzenegger to make Hollywood return

Schwarzenegger said; "I told you I'll be back"

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

Mexico funds huge marijuana farm

I'm sorry, that headline should have read; Mexico finds huge marijuana farm

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

UK threat level raised

Lincolnshire arm of Al-Qaeda to take up home brewing

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

David Gilmour's son charged with student fees protest violence

When asked how he felt Mr Gilmour said; "Uncomfortably numb"

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

Queen to unveil Bletchley tribute

She will be there at 24 52 14 485 658 225 431 7719 6632 8574

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

Computer glitch wakes shuttle crew

Windows has been updated and will restart you computer in 5, 4, 3……………………

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

Met chief under pressure for hiring NoW man

Chief says; "He lied of his application form. He told us he was the editor of Aryan Supremacy Weekly, not the News of The World"

written by Les Being, 15 July 2011

David v Goliath. Coming soon to Sky Box Office

David (clumsy) Cameron takes on Becky (the bullet dodger) Brooks in a fight to the death. A News International production. Book now.

written by Les Being, 14 July 2011

Andy Murray to train with Met Police

He said he needs to improve his backhanders

written by Les Being, 14 July 2011

America pulls funding from NASA

Analysts say, Everyone knows were in a recession, it's not exactly rocket science

written by Les Being, 14 July 2011

New name for body armour

Just as May West gave her name to life preservers, bullet proof vests are to be called Rebekah Brooks

written by Les Being, 14 July 2011


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