Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Inhopeless.

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Election Attack Ads Getting Out of Hand

WASHINGTON DC - As the Republicans launch their attack ads, the sane populace has noticed that calling Obama 'devil Communist-Fascist' is not a good impression. "It only works on the stupid, ie. GOP."

written by Inhopeless, 04 June 2011

Britney Spears More of A National Threat than Communists

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Shuttleworth Institute has found out that popstars are more of a threat to security of the US than the Communist party. "There are more popstars than actual Commies!" It says.

written by Inhopeless, 28 May 2011

"I'm Against Corporate America" says Hipster Walking Into Best Buy

AUSTIN, TX - [more as it comes in, but won't because no-one gives a damn about smelly hipsters]

written by Inhopeless, 19 May 2011

Latest Twitter Released from Donald Trump

NEW YORK - Donald Trump has tweeted: "Not running for prez becoz am about to run into angry Triad members who I owe money 2. Laters Twittersphere."

written by Inhopeless, 19 May 2011

Life Found to Be No.1 Sexually Transmitted Disease

NEW YORK - The United Nations Organisation has found out that life is a contagious STD, with over 6.9bn cases worldwide. They say that Life, a Class-A disease, has a 100% mortality rate.

written by Inhopeless, 14 May 2011

"NATO Cannot Reach Me" says Gadhaffi As Tanks Bear Down on His Compound

176 AL-MULLAH WAY, TRIPOLI - [more as it comes in]

written by Inhopeless, 13 May 2011

'No to AV' Campaign Cost £251mn

LONDON - Figures obtained by Inhopeless Media Group yesterday showed that the No to AV [Alternative Vote] camp had spent £250,763,981.99 in total on their campaign run.

written by Inhopeless, 05 May 2011

Yes to AV States Bin-Laden Wanted to Say No

LONDON - The Yes to AV camp have claimed that in an unreleased video, Bin-Laden has stated that he wouldn't vote for AV if he was British because 'it stops my infidels in thier tracks'.

written by Inhopeless, 03 May 2011

Obama Explains Why It Took So Long to Release Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON DC - Obama said that he was sorry he couldn't release his birth certificate. "Sorry I couldn't. I was too busy planning to kill Bin-Laden. A little trivial waste that nine months, I know."

written by Inhopeless, 03 May 2011

Twiiter Uncool, as Local Dad Has It

CHICAGO - Bob Smith, 56, joined Twitter this morning. After posting stupid stuff and wierd messages on everyone's pages, the entire Twiitersphere then deactivated accounts and moved to

written by Inhopeless, 01 May 2011

Liberals to Republicans: "Go back to elementary school"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After calling Obama a 'Communist' and 'Hitler' in the same breath, the entire GOP have been forced to go back to elementary school in order to learn the English language again.

written by Inhopeless, 01 May 2011

Obama Presses Trump to Release Certificate Proving He's Not a Giant Pile of Rotting Shit

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Trump has been called to prove he isn't a 'waste of space'. "The American people," said Obama, "have a right to know that thier so-called GOP candidate is not a huge asswipe."

written by Inhopeless, 30 April 2011

Poor Grammar In Sign Gets Man Riled Up

BIRMINGHAM - Local man says that the Subway ad about 'Do the Math' is wrong. "It's do the mathS!" He complains about PCWorld too. "CDs and DVDs and TVs! Not "CD's"! Implies the store owned by Mr. CD."

written by Inhopeless, 23 April 2011


BIRMIN-FUCKING-HAM - I don't give a fuck about this. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! (now a cool techno-rock song here: IDGAF. It's also about sex and parties.

written by Inhopeless, 20 April 2011

Having Sex is the Number One Cause of Getting Laid, Says Scientists

NEW YORK - [more as in comes in]

written by Inhopeless, 16 April 2011

Work Experience Exams to Occur in Coffee-Making and Photocopying

LONDON - The new curriculum for Citizenship will include lessons on how to make coffee and photocopy items in prep for work experience in the summer. Full story: here

written by Inhopeless, 15 April 2011

This is a Snippet

LOCATION - This is the text of the body of the snippet. Fuck yeah.

written by Inhopeless, 15 April 2011

Like, Voted, Like, Most Said, Like Word, Like, by, Like, Celebs

NEW YORK - 'Like' has been voted the 'Most Spoken Word by Celebs' by G-G-G-Gossip! Magazine.

Second place was 'uhhh...', while third place was 'OH-MY-GOD!'

written by Inhopeless, 14 April 2011

What Would Happen In a U.S. Government Shutdown?

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well,there are only two requirements of the FEDERAL government: Protect the borders and deliver the mail.

written by Inhopeless, 10 April 2011

Man Eating Food Freaked Out by Spoofer Writing About Him

BIRMINGHAM - Todd Cotillard, 25, was freaked 'the shit out of' by Inhopeless, a spoofer, when Inhopeless wrote a spoof snippet about him. After an impromptu fight, Todd is now in Selly Oak Hospital.

written by Inhopeless, 06 April 2011

World to Forget About Libya, Moves Onto New Fad

EARTHIC TERRITORIES - The human race turned its eyes from Libya to some cool guy dancing. When asked 'what is Libya?', 80% said 'a TV show'. Tsk, tsk, tsk, human race.

written by Inhopeless, 03 April 2011

Ribbon-Making Industry Hampered by Red Tape

LONDON - [more as it come in]

written by Inhopeless, 31 March 2011

Secondary School Model of Rome Built In Day

BIRMINGHAM - [more soon as it comes in]

written by Inhopeless, 30 March 2011

Dude Okay With It

LONDON - After much deliberation, resident Todd Roberts was totally fine with that thing. "It's cool bro, it's fine," he said to assorted members of the press about some 'shit that happened' earlier.

written by Inhopeless, 30 March 2011

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