Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Xavier.
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Condom Applet for IPhone
A new Applet has been launched for the Iphone, at a touch of one key it directs users to the nearest condom machine.
written by Xavier, 10 October 2010
Commonwealth games Wind Assisted Records Disallowed
The World Games Federation, in response to the number of swimmers getting Dehli Belly at the Commonwealth Games, have announced that any wind assisted records will be disallowed.
written by Xavier, 08 October 2010
Saudi Swimmer Drowns at Arab Games
A female swimmer in the 200 yard breast stroke drowned today at the Arab Games when her Burka became waterlogged and she sank.
written by Xavier, 07 October 2010
Half Inflated Sex Dolls Made Illegal
A new law bans people from having half inflated rubber sex dolls. A Government spokesman said the law was to stop paedophiles have half inflated, half-size sex dolls.
written by Xavier, 07 October 2010
Aleksandr Orlov Didn't Die Sniffing Widdicome's Knickers
Aleksandr Orlov is alive! We understand that it was a look-alike meerkat who succombed to the stench of the Widdicome whities which we described in an earlier report.
written by Xavier, 07 October 2010
Aussie Swimmer says Delhi Belly helped him win 200m
Commonwealth Games: An Aussie swimmer with a dose of Delhi Belly has admitted the bug was responsible for a huge fart which propelled him forward to win the 200m crawl in a burst of bubbles.
written by Xavier, 04 October 2010
Pope Promises Compensation for Abuse Victims
The Pope has taken person charge of compensating abuse victims. He said, "These are not empty promises, we are going to put our money where our mouth was."
written by Xavier, 01 October 2010
Vegetarian Condoms Warning
A warning on the new Vegetarian Condom packets says, "May contain Nuts".
written by Xavier, 30 September 2010
Pope to be International Children's Commissioner
The Pope has been appointed Internation Children's Commissioner and will head a team to wipe out worldwide child abuse. The Vatican said that the Catholic church has wide experience in such matters.
written by Xavier, 29 September 2010
Woman with 2 heads becomes lollypop lady
A woman with 2 heads has been appointed as a lollypop lady in Chortum-cum-Hardy. A police spokesman said she was ideal for the job because she could look both ways without turning her head.
written by Xavier, 28 September 2010
Spelling Mistake in new Vatican Sex Education Book
A spelling mistake is found in new Vatican book on sex education. Instead of 'Carnal Knowledge' the book refers to 'Cardinal Knowledge'. A vatican source said it was a slip of the tongue.
written by Xavier, 21 September 2010
Pope's Putti Arrest
Pope Benedict was arrest at Airport for having a picture of a naked putti which breaks UK laws on images of children. The pope is being held in Highpoint Jail sharing a cell with George Michael.
written by Xavier, 21 September 2010
Stalones Mother wins Beauty Contest
Sylvester Stalone's mother today won a beauty contest. It was in the Egypt museaum and she won most beautiful mummy. When she moved all the guest fainted with shock.
written by Xavier, 09 August 2010
Baby Tazered by Police
A baby in Bristol, UK, was tazered by police after blowing a raspberry. The police officer said he feared the baby was going to assault him.
written by Xavier, 06 August 2010
Rooney Scores
Spoof News hears that Wayne Rooney did score in S. Africa. She was 73, grey, 45Kg & has 6 grand-children.
written by Xavier, 06 August 2010
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