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Mitt Romney Defines What Marriage Is

Marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman...and a woman, and a woman, and a woman, and a woman...

written by Charpa93, 12 May 2012

Wife Tells Husband She's Going Shopping for Clutches at Neiman Marcus

Husband replies "I didn't even know they sold cars."

written by Charpa93, 15 March 2012

Don't Like Romney's Take on Entitlement Funds?

Wait an hour, it'll change.

written by Charpa93, 29 February 2012

Republicans Re-thinking Stance on Free Contraceptives

One Senator, currently caught up in a sex scandal, says "Without free contraceptives,I guarantee there would be way more kids running around Washington, D.C."

written by Charpa93, 29 February 2012

Internet Site Reports Large Purchases in Romney and Santorum Campaigns

Santorum camp has spent so far in excess of $7000 for barf bags; Romney camp over $8000 for duct tape.

written by Charpa93, 28 February 2012

Republicans Deny War on Women

A top-ranking Republican today denied his party is waging a war on women and said "In fact, we love women...especially when they are barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen cooking our meals.

written by Charpa93, 26 February 2012

Independence, Missouri Changes Name to Codependence, Missouri

The Mayor of Independence, Mo is so fed up with the amount of drug problems the city has, he's decided to choose a city name that better describes the municipality.

written by Charpa93, 26 February 2012

Captain Kirk Beamed Aboard Space Shuttle Discovery

Not really. That technology isn't possible yet, regardless of how 'real' Star Trek is to its most loyal fans.

written by Charpa93, 08 March 2011

Merriam-Webster Updates Dictionary

Charlie Sheen has made it into the Merriam-Webster Dictionary Collegiate Edition. His picture can now be found next to the word "crazy."

written by Charpa93, 06 March 2011

Gaddafi's Son Claims Libya Nothing Like Egypt or Tunesia

and clarifies, "We kill our protesters."

written by Charpa93, 21 February 2011

Bristol Palin Plans on Following in Her Mom's Footsteps

"They may be big stilettos to fill," said one reporter who is covering the story, "but Bristol is serious about running for President in 2020."

written by Charpa93, 21 February 2011

Christians Loosening Rules Regarding Certain Sins

Orthodox Christians are beginning to adopt a "do what feels right" attitude toward masturbation.

written by Charpa93, 21 February 2011

Sarah Palin Clears Things Up on Sean Hannity

Sean Hannity asked Palin to explain once again her intention with the now infamous map. She replied, "Well, Sean, my mistake was clear. I realize I shoulda used bulls eyes instead of cross hairs.

written by Charpa93, 19 January 2011

Sarah Palin in Hot Water over Comments Again

Sarah Palin, wanting to be sure her followers knew that she was still considering a run for the Presidency, tweeted this over the weekend: "Still have my sights aimed at Presidency."

written by Charpa93, 17 January 2011

John McCain Apologizes to Republicans for Giving Props to Obama

John McCain claims "like many Americans, I got caught up in the moment when I wrote that op-ed in the Washington Post." He told fellow Republicans, "Believe me, it will never happen again."

written by Charpa93, 16 January 2011

Famous Groundhog Sees Shadow on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Predicts no foreseeable end to racism in America.

written by Charpa93, 16 January 2011

Tom Delay Sentenced to Three Years in Federal Prison

With time off for good behavior, he may just be out in time to influence the 2012 elections.

written by Charpa93, 12 January 2011

Poll Results in on Giffords Shooting

93% of Americans glad they aren't Sarah Palin
97% of Americans glad they aren't Glenn Beck
3-7% were undecided.

written by Charpa93, 09 January 2011

Whole Lotta Shaking Goin' On in NYC

An earthquake registering 3.9 on the Richter scale hit Manhattan on Tuesday morning. One resident claims that it was the biggest shake up since the last financial crisis.

written by Charpa93, 01 December 2010

Legislature Close to Repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Will give a whole new meaning to "dress" blues.

written by Charpa93, 30 November 2010

Martha Stewart Loses it On Thanksgiving Guest

Said the celebrity about one of her guests, "She was just horrendous. First, she swilled her wine like a drunken sailor, and then she ate her dessert with her salad fork. How gauche.

written by Charpa93, 26 November 2010

In Justifying Use of Condoms, Pope Falls Short

On male prostitutes, he intimated this: they are already sinning against God so wearing condoms isn't gonna matter that much. Let them use them if they want. No biggie.

written by Charpa93, 21 November 2010

ironic Twist to Costumed Man's Arrest for Drunken Driving

A Nebraska man was arrested early Monday morning after a night of partying at a Halloween Party given by his friend. His costume? A Breathalyzer.

written by Charpa93, 05 November 2010

Pundits Argue over Schultz' and Beck's Size

Political pundits from both sides of the arena are arguing which rally in Washington got the prize for size. Remember, it's not the size that counts, it's the message.

written by Charpa93, 04 October 2010

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