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Shock as report reveals police may have killed Blair Peach

Funny story: Shock as report reveals police may have killed Blair Peach

After only 31 years, a police report has been issued which states that protestor Blair Peach may have been killed by a policeman. 'This has come as an absolute shock,' a friend of the New Zealander's said. 'No one could even have guessed that. ' S...

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Daleks exterminate Trinny and Susannah after disastrous make-over

Funny story: Daleks exterminate Trinny and Susannah after disastrous make-over

The Daleks courted fresh controversy yesterday after exterminating beloved fashion gurus Trinny and Susannah. The extermination came following a make-over which saw the drab extra-terrestial tin cans put into a variety of colours, designed to best sh...

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Britney in new low: contacts Russell Grant

Funny story: Britney in new low: contacts Russell Grant

Troubled star Britney Spear's life has sunk to such depths that she has contacted Russell Grant. The astrologer said, 'I got an email from Britney Spears office. Apparently she wants a reading. I need to check out its validity.' He then disappea...

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Clegg in being a Nazi shock!

Funny story: Clegg in being a Nazi shock!

It was today revealed by the Daily Smellygraph that PM hopeful Nick Clegg is a raving Nazi. 'Ten years ago, writes Walter Torysmith, 'Clegg wrote an article in which he suggested that, a mere 70 years after the war individual Germans, including child...

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History's celebrities line up for Labour

Funny story: History's celebrities line up for Labour

Both Labour and the Conservatives today wheeled out a host of historical figures to back their election campaigns and warn about the dangers of a Liberal Democrat win. In an open letter to the Guardian, some of the top figures from the school hist...

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Scientist finds "God particle" in Jack Daniels bottle

Funny story: Scientist finds "God particle" in Jack Daniels bottle

A scientist has claimed to have finally found the illusive "God particle". Sometimes known among boffins as the Higgs Boson, the God particle is believed to hold the key to the mystery of the creation of matter and the universe, and has been the holy...

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God hits back at Volcano accusations

Funny story: God hits back at Volcano accusations

God has reacted angrily to accusations that the cloud of volcanic ash covering Europe and disrupting air travel is His fault. 'It's so unfair,' the ageless deity complained. 'I hear this all the time - it's an Act of God. It's lazy thinking, pure...

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Man who won "best job in the world" fired after losing island

Funny story: Man who won "best job in the world" fired after losing island

Ben Ealing, who won the coveted, "best job in the world" - caretaker of a sun-drenched island - has been sacked on only his second day, after he fell asleep on the job, and woke to find the tropical paradise had been stolen. 'I only had my eyes close...

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Disaster as swine Flu leaflet carrier tests positive for swine flu

Funny story: Disaster as swine Flu leaflet carrier tests positive for swine flu

It has been revealed that three staff from a delivery firm handling the delivery of flu leaflets to all UK households were themselves suffering from swine flu. 'I saw the lad coughing and sneezing,' said Mrs Harris of Islington. In some cases, he...

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Archaeologists: "Stonehenge was built simply to confuse us"

Funny story: Archaeologists: "Stonehenge was built simply to confuse us"

New excavations at Stonehenge appear to point to the great monument having been built with the sole purpose of baffling archaeologists. 'We make a mistake sometimes,' explained Professor Bluestone-Lintel of Leicester University, 'in assuming that...

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Government minister: "I've just realised we're a bit shit, really"

Funny story: Government minister: "I've just realised we're a bit shit, really"

Hazel Bleuughs, minister for patronising and talking down to the masses launched a savage attack on PM Gordon Brown this weekend for being, "useless, out of touch and just utterly rubbish, frankly". However, she later backed down saying that this was...

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It's the apocalypse, but "don't panic" - UN

Funny story: It's the apocalypse, but "don't panic" - UN

Officials in Washington admitted yesterday that the apocalypse is upon us, but urged people not to panic as, "that might make things worse". Earthquakes, floods, pestilence, global warming, war and economic doom have coincided with a 200% increase...

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'Media has clear God bias' - Satan

Funny story: 'Media has clear God bias' - Satan

Satan, Lord of Darkness, today hit back at what he called, 'the clear bias of the media towards anything God says.' God, he said, 'will not and cannot stop climate change because he is powerless to do so. Anything else the bearded commie say is pure...

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Fury at MP's failure to claim housing expenses

Funny story: Fury at MP's failure to claim housing expenses

An enquiry has been launched following allegations that a front bench minister failed to claim all the expenses he was technically able to claim on a second home. It is believed the MP lives in London, 'a few minutes from Westminster', and so does no...

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House Prices will rise this year, say experts.

Funny story: House Prices will rise this year, say experts.

There is good news finally about house prices. According to experts in the housing industry they are set to rise by the end of 2009! 'It's certain. They simply can't fail to rise,' says Tom Wimpy, an estate agent in Harlow, Essex. Prices have bee...

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DEFLATION! - Britain hits deflation as prices rise 3.2%

Funny story: DEFLATION! - Britain hits deflation as prices rise 3.2%

For the first time since the great depression, Britain is in deflation - a period of falling prices. Inflation rose by 0.2% to reach 3.2%, sending economic experts and commentators into panic about plummeting prices. 'Falling prices are terrible,'...

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Breaking news…

Trump Names Convict With Ankle Bracelet as Chief-of-Staff

This time he wants a Chief-of-Staff that "won't get away too easy."
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