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Spoof stories written by burhaninho

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How to seduce Kenyan girl in Chinese

In my teaching days, the deputy headmaster, a certified drunk, was once invited to mark that year's national secondary school commerce exam at a school near State House. The old man loved his drink, chang'aa to be exact, which he quaffed first thing in the morning and topped up every now and then as the day progressed. He derisively dismissed bottled beer as water. Upon his return, we all en...

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The development of a new programming language

I've heard there's a new programming language out from University of Tennessee. It's called Algor. There are some problems with it though. The syntax is very formal and inflexible. And it's not a very powerful language either, since it won't allow you to alter the operating environment. Its survival is also partially dependent upon an even slower and lower quality language called Blinton. Pe...

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The difference between Republicans & Democrats

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over...

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Fifty fun things to do during an exam

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only. 1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 3. I...

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People are stupid

President-elect Barrack Hussien Steve Obama and vice-president elect, Joe Biden Aka "Joe-The senator" were talking, when Obama said, "I hate all the dumb McCane jokes people tell about him." Wise Old Joe, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said...

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Useful phrases to use at work

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're...

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Presidential Bash with Saturday Night

The Republican presidential ticket appeared on Saturday Night Live's "Presidential Bash," while the Democrats were represented by their stand-ins. John McCain opened the show by poking fun at NBC's programming lineup, while Sarah Palin awkwardly joke...

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