On a hot and humid evening in Jakarta an emergency press conference has been called. Liverpool football club's commander and chief, Brendan Rogers, sit's silently behind a bouquet of awaiting microphones. To the left of Rogers sits club captain S...
Eastern European transsexual entertainer, Bingo Euphrates, was mauled to death yesterday by her troop of acrobatic midgets. The savage attack on the 47 year old entertainer was described by one witness as being, 'savage'. The attack took place...
Tottenham Hotspur have announced that plans to re-inflate club manager Harry Redknapp's face have been called off. A spokesperson for the North London club revealed yesterday, the day that came before today, that an engineer working on the specially...
A five year old canary, from Leyton Buzzard, has been today awarded the congressional medal of honour for saving his owner from a would be sex attack. The canary, named Murray, flapped in the face of fear and repeatedly defecated on the attacker u...
Pope Benny Exvee-Eye today stunned the hushed masses, who had gathered to watch his first UK speech, when he confused being an athiest with being French. Sitting on his thrown, little white hat perched on his head like a soggy marshmallow stuck to...
Author, businessperson and American environmental activist, Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, announced today that he is to dip his toe in to the world of music we call pop. Mr Gore says that he found his inspiration and realised his musical talents whilst...
Way back in the 50's and 60's, it wasn't that uncommon for a complete munter to be a chart success. The music buying community back then weren't as caught up in the aesthetics of a person, like we are today, and concentrated more on how they sounded.
Those of you who follow the Bible closely have I'm sure at one time or another spent a few idol moments wondering when the main character of your favourite book would return. Today it has been revealed that Jesus is at last, once again, amongst us...
Sesame street was this morning cordoned off by police after a serious sexual assault on one of its cast members. Police were first called to Sesame Street in the early hours of this morning after reports of a large drunken yellow bird shouting abu...
The world of comedy is today in mourning after the tragic news that the king and queen of giggles, Lenny Henry and Dawn French, are set to split after 25 years of marriage. D-Len, Denny, Lawn or however you knew them announced last night that they...
The wacky world of Mad Dog Barack Obama became a little more insane yesterday when he insisted on letting a small detached bungalow decide whether his fancy new healthcare reform for keys should be passed or not. In the small American town of Bast...
The Houses of Parliament, London, England, ordinarily a quiet and cheerful place, is today a hot bed of intrigue and conjecture. During one of Labour Foreign Secretary David Miliband's sensational speeches, several opposition MPs noticed that Mr M...
Paddy McSodabread, the Irish state Emperor, this morning declared war with the Vatican city after demands for retribution from the Catholic community prompted decisive and swift action from their government. The Pope responded to the declaration o...
Darren Seal, a teenager from Bristol, has been attributed with ending all war and plunging planet Earth in to a time of unprecedented peace. On Wednesday, Darren and his then girlfriend Margo, were involved in a rather bitter argument over play-do...
At last, after 26 weeks of 'Jedmania' the worbeling and permanently surprised Irish duo have been vetoed off the X Factor. After a dispassionate plea in midweek to the baying masses of X Factor, temporary leader, Gordon Brown, in a rousing speech...
We live in fast paced and ever changing world, where humankind races forward at an increasing rate of knots leaving a plume of historic dust in the past. Take the last 25 years for instance. Where have we come from and where are we now? 25 yea...
Police made a mecarbre and sinister discovery at Leicester City's Haymarket Shopping Centre today, one that will shock the entire city to it's very foundations. After responding to a report from a member of the public, police cordoned off the ani...
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