The always amiable and jovial President Donald Trump has announced the US will be pulling all US troops out of Russia starting at the end of February. At a press conference on Wednesday afternoon the President said the following: “It is time to ge...
In a shocking move, high profile defendant, Paul Manafort, on trial for his business dealings, took a plea deal to have all charges dropped if he testified against Donald Trump. The plea deal was signed off by trial judge T.S. Ellis III. Invokin...
Blockbuster film director Larry Casanova has been accused of publishing anti-women tweets on his Twitter account. Casanova, who directed such films as the Disney Productions adventure, thriller blockbuster The Last Bean on Earth had tweeted out...
The ever affable and jovial President Donald Trump has announced this morning our solar system is only made up of the sun, earth and moon. The idea there are 7 other planets in our solar system is merely “fake news”. Speaking at a morning press c...
Amicable werewolf, Lonnie Howling, had a wicked penchant for eating people. His favorite type of cuisine was a plate of raw Democrat which he dined on at least once a day. Unlike other werewolves, who transform whenever there is a full moon in th...
A Bloomington, Minnesota masochist dentist, Hotep Whip, is offering obtuse faux patients the chance to sit in a waiting room and listen to actual patients screaming and writhing in agony while getting dental treatment. The cost for the faux patient...
Scientist at the Glowing Fellow Nuclear Research and Development Center (GFNRDC) in Boulder, Colorado have discovered the God Particle can cure someone of kleptomania. The discovery was made when kleptomaniac, Joey Fingers, went to nuke a burrito in...
For the last two weeks a Silver Spring, MD man, Gerald Bittten, has done nothing but complain about a land shark eating him alive. The man initially made contact with the shark at a Chuck – E-Cheese restaurant in which he was celebrating his nine ye...
The Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, has always been a ready to go kind of guy. On his anniversary he went with his wife to Aruba. On his 40th birthday he went with his wife to Venice and on December 5th of 2011 he went with his wife to divorce cou...
The American public generated a sigh of relief when a shooter shot and killed 21 students at Jamboree High School, in Oakland, Maryland when it was determined that the shooter did not use a semi-automatic rifle. 32 people were, also, injured in the...
God the almighty made an appearance at the US Senate and immediately smited the two senators from Florida claiming it was simply because they were from the state of Florida. God told the assembly that “they better get their shit together and work...
Rocky Squirrel celebrated a victory in a Portland, Maine court today by being awarded the right to not only obtain a handgun but, also, to get a concealed hand gun permit. After the verdict Rocky hugged his lawyer Jerry Meisterfibber as well as his...
Duluth Minnesota - An angry Duluth man attacked the pope with an origami crane knocking him out cold on Lake Superior where the Pope was holding an ice skating prayer breakfast. The pope was aware of the man's intent and when he saw him approaching...
The US Bureau of Flying Saucers has announced that flying saucers do exist and that they have made contact with extraterrestrial life. The announcement was made shortly after President Trump threatened to terminate their existence because they weren...
A group of scientist at Boozeyman Pharmaceuticals have developed a pill which cures hangovers. The pill, named Soberhop, is to be taken after one's last drink and takes no more than 2 minutes to completely sober up the recipient, regardless of how m...
Fearing their son Darren would someday wear a suit, work long and arduous hours, make an obscene amount of money, as well as enemies, all while toting around a briefcase full of briefs, Mr. and Mrs. Parrot are doing everything in their power to disc...
You remember Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter? He was snorkeling in chest deep water when he got stung through the heart by a maniacal and emotionally disturbed stingray and died. Well from now on you don't have to fear dangerously deranged stingr...
Secret Service sniper Joe McShoots became unraveled during an anti-Trump protest outside the White House and started shooting up the protesting crowd. Six people were confirmed dead and another 16 were wounded, 6 critically. "I've had it with the...
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