The Hoarder's Digest - Tragedy struck on Thursday afternoon when the home of Ned and Wanda Kelly went ablaze after a grease fire ignited several grocery bags full of matchbooks stored around the stove and numerous closets around the house. The couple...
Tired of everyday life? Sick of shopping for tile at home depot with your dipshit spouse every weekend? Does the thought of not ever getting to do a line of coke off a hookers ass before you die keep you up at night? Don't you just wish there was a place where this behavior could be forgiven? A place where clever marketing and bright lights has convinced people that reckless behavior is ok as long...
The Boise Inquirer- The quiet city of Boise Idaho was a little less quiet when academy award winning actor Robert Deniro was seen leaving Walgreens on wednesday evening. An onlooker spotted the "Analyse This" star leaving at around 11:45 p.m carrying...
The Hemorhoid weekly - When 56 year old cola executive Martin Jefferson opened his newspaper one morning he thought there was a mistake. The headline read "MJ dead. Fans mourn the loss of the king of pop." The cola CEO was in disbelief. "I couldn...
Boulder , CO - Despite recessions and job layoffs, Boulder native Bob Plumb is quite pleased with how his yard looks. His lawn is short, hedges are trim, and not a drop of dog shit anywhere. "I can't believe how it looks this year!" Said the 62 y...
Santa Fe, NM - In what seemed to be a harmless drinking game, A handful of college students last night experienced the follies of drinking and firearms when 26 year old Chuff Miller fatally shot his friend 23 year old Bob Pricks. The victim was flown...
In an effort to raise public transit use in response to rising gas prices and global warming concern, the U.S. department of transportation is looking to the public for ideas on changing the image given to those who use it.
In what might be the biggest blow to anti-drunk driving laws and advocates since the introduction of the Chrysler Minibar, top alcoholics have proven drunk driving to be "hella fun." Although the theory had been known to many for many years...
Forget any useless rhetoric you read in Cosmo, this is the real deal from a real man. I've taken some previous bullshit and translated them into truth. So read on at your own peril bitches!...
In response to the overwhelming popularity of games like Guitar Hero, Sony released Saxophone Hero. This weekend saw lines stretching for miles at local electronics stores as the new game hit shelves.
Science weekly - Scientists unearthed last week what they believed to be the origin of the first ever "cock-block". The remains of 3 "cavemen like" individuals where found near the Euphrates river in the Middle East. One was found...
New York City, New York - In what may of been the biggest breakout game of any person who ever existed, rookie player Flaminroids, scored an unprecedented 1000 points to smash Wilt Chamberlains previous 100 points in one game record.
Savannah, Georgia - What began as a hopeful night for Jim Sloan, ended in total disappointment. Jim had asked Nancy Carlisle to prom in hopes that, given Nancy's reputation, he would "totally get some". But after much anticipation and m...
Lately I'll bet you noticed your body has been changing. You've started to grow breats and notice boys. Aside from the obvious physical changes you have been growing through, there is more than becoming a woman than growing extra body parts and smells. You will begin to notice a few things that are going to disappear.
Tired of being constantly rejected? Need expert advice on meeting women? Well maybe you should consider what I have to teach you. For many years I've lowered the bar on meeting women. By using my patented "She'll do" method of hooking up with whatever will show interest, you will no longer feel lonely and start feeling a slight burning sensation when you pee.
Des Moines, Iowa - A space shuttle returning from a recent visit to russian space station "Smirnoff", unexpectedly landed in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Iowa.
Kyoto, Japan - In a first time appearance, President George W. Bush made one thing clear. "If you don't like it, then you get out of America." When a French reporter pointed out they weren't in America, the president shot right back...
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