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Wenger Says Some Sing

Funny story: Wenger Says Some Sing

Arsenal may have to replay their narrow FA Cup win after an investigation into the game found the pink ball used was stupid. It stopped short of concluding the entire football industry was corrupt, tiresome and overpriced as that would have been too...

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Ice is cold: Latest

Funny story: Ice is cold: Latest

Red-faced scientists now admit that melting polar ice will not raise sea levels as much as first thought. In a statement issued from the Institute of the Bleedin' Obvious, it was acknowledged that ice cubes floating in glasses of water do not signifi...

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Mind control a step closer

Funny story: Mind control a step closer

Amid accusations of a sell-out by fee*-thinking writers, an internet search company has purchased The Spoof to create Spoogle . Spoogle recently unveiled its much anticipated i-eye TM technology which uses webcams to search a person's thoughts. Sim...

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Top Poet Dug Up For The Nation

Funny story: Top Poet Dug Up For The Nation

Months before the Eurovision Song Contest has even begun to aggravate the annual bowel symptoms, the losing UK entry is about to be penned by none other than Alfred Lord Tennyson. With the help of specialist sponsors Android Rubber, a Westminster...

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Lego Giant On Beach Says Nothing

Funny story: Lego Giant On Beach Says Nothing

Mystery surrounds a giant lego man found washed up on Brighton beach who has been undergoing psychiatric testing in order to find out where he came from. It appears that this case is remarkably similar to that of a man found wandering in Kent in...

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Blind-eyed Refs To get New Powers

Funny story: Blind-eyed Refs To get New Powers

Football referees are to be given increased powers to sanction the ever-dwindling number of professional players committing fouls and cheating. From next Tuesday, in addition to traditional finger-wagging, FIFA will grant refs the power of reaso...

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EDF contaminated power

Funny story: EDF contaminated power

Tests have confirmed that French electricity being supplied to the UK is contaminated with C-Difficile, the super bug which normally lurks in unpasteurised milk and causes lethargy, cynicism, arrogance and untimely trains. EDF customers have been...

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Klingons sighted again

Funny story: Klingons sighted again

Coastguard officials from the port of Dubris, known as Dover in Roman times, have reported sighting a large yacht loaded with Klingons and heading for the British coast at a rate of knots. These loathsome 'creatures of nightmare' have not been see...

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Doing the loco-motion

Funny story: Doing the loco-motion

The Queen has said that having Andrew Motion in the post of Poet Laureate has put her 'right orf' poetry for good and that she was only trying to do the 'ungrateful b'ard' a favour. After hearing Motion complain that writing for the Royals cause...

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United (Nations) revert to 4-4-2

Funny story: United (Nations) revert to 4-4-2

United Nations manager Ban Ki-Moon admits his side may have been tactically naive and shouldn't even have been on the pitch during the last round of the Anglo-American Name Claiming Championships. Peacekeepers were called to the touchline as Brits...

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GPS Error for 2012 planners

Funny story: GPS Error for 2012 planners

A William Shakespeare festival is being planned for the run-up to the 2012 London games as part of an effort to make it a 'Cultural Olympiad'. Unfortunately nobody has yet had the wit to check which Stratford the stadium should be built in. Sev...

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Pen mightier than sword

Funny story: Pen mightier than sword

Jeremy Kyle on daytime TV aside, perhaps the most disturbing development to date in modern technology has been uncovered by 'journalists' at Sneaky Russian scientists have been developing a pen that is up 200,000 times mightier than any...

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DIY Chain Land NASA Contract

Funny story: DIY Chain Land NASA Contract

DIY chain B&Q has been handed a contract believed to be worth $3.5bn to supply around 100 pots of their own brand tile grouting following problems with space shuttle insulation coming away on take-off. The next scheduled scheduled flight was t...

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Denmark wins happy crown

Funny story: Denmark wins happy crown

The title of 'happiest place on earth' has been awarded to Denmark, a country which gets its name from the ancient 'Dark Men' and in recent years has been vilified for it's unruly cartoonists. Its reputation for jollity and fun on the world stage is...

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Cat may hold clue to clawing back data loss

Funny story: Cat may hold clue to clawing back data loss

Red-faced ministers and assorted other idiots losing sensitive data may have Twinkle the cat to thank after discovered him playing with a new dangly toy. Until now, ministers had been considering using the Trades Descriptions Act to sue...

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Internet Police Clamp Down on Old Git Terror Ring

Funny story: Internet Police Clamp Down on Old Git Terror Ring

A Facebook group, popular with elderly people and known as 'I secretly want to entice young people into a damn good kicking by walking slowly in the street' has been exposed by the Internet Police, the shadowy figures responsible for IP addresses.

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Secret papers expose conspiracy group

Funny story: Secret papers expose conspiracy group

A clandestine group of conspiracy theorists formerly known as 'The North Walsham And District Boys Brigade Cover But Really A Secret Society of Conspiracy Theorists Dn-Dn-Durrrrrn!' has been rocked by allegations that one of their members del...

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North Koreans Refuse To Adopt Shania Law

Funny story: North Koreans Refuse To Adopt Shania Law

George W Bush looks set to leave the world stage on an all-time high after talks with North Korea broke down with accusations that there was 'way too much' Shania Twain in the negotiations.

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Senior Discount

The nice thing about being over 60 is that you can walk your dog essentially in your pajamas and nobody bats an eye.
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