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Funny story: Venezuela Takes No Sheet in Toilet Paper Crisis

Venezuela Takes No Sheet in Toilet Paper Crisis

Venezuela has instituted a series of emergency laws in the face of the national toilet paper shortage. Besides ordering the Venezuelan Army to assume control of the only toilet paper factory in the country, President Nicolas Maduro has ruled that no...

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Funny story: Things You Might Overhear At Your Gym

Things You Might Overhear At Your Gym

One: Ugghhh! Two: Oooooofff! Three: Aaarrgh! Four: Yuccccchhhh! Five: Grrrmmmppp! Six: Are you alright? Seven: Help! Eight: Where's the AED? Nine: Anyone know CPR, goddammit! Ten: Hello, 911? Meanwhile, there is a certain gym culture that needs to be abolished. Cleaning the equipment...

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Funny story: France Angry Over NSA's Spies Uncovering Embarassing Research

France Angry Over NSA's Spies Uncovering Embarassing Research

It has finally been discovered exactly why the French Government is so upset about the NSA surveillance imbroglio. This scandal has reached a level that, according to White House insiders, President Obama is hoping for some disaster he can attend s...

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Funny story: NSA: Top 10 French Secrets Exposed by Edward Snowden

NSA: Top 10 French Secrets Exposed by Edward Snowden

10. Charles De Gaulle is alive and well working as a sous-chef in an Avignon bistro. 9. Napoleon isn't really buried in that porphyry sarcophagus in Les Invalides. It's Jim Morrison 8. The ratio of mistresses to ministers is 10:1. 7. The "yellow streak" on the back of the typical French soldier is 112.8 cm. wide. 6. 87.5% of the French cabinet are bedding the same mistress. Howe...

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Funny story: Jockstraps: Actually Make Bollocks Sag

Jockstraps: Actually Make Bollocks Sag

Professor Jacqueline Toujours, Dean of the School of Sports Medicine and Automobile Repair at Toulouse, France has issued a press release declaring that jockstraps in male athletes impede fertility and contribute to the phenomenon of "ball drop" in l...

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Funny story: Benedict Excommunicates Pope Francis

Benedict Excommunicates Pope Francis

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis. The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican S...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Serves Eviction Notice on Pope Benedict

Pope Francis Serves Eviction Notice on Pope Benedict

According to confidential sources within the Vatican Curia, Pope Francis has served an eviction notice on Pope Emeritus Benedict. The former pope has one week from Easter Sunday to vacate Castel Gandolfo or answer to the Italian courts. The act...

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Funny story: North Korea Invades Venezuela

North Korea Invades Venezuela

In the wake of Hugo Chavez' wake, elements of North Korea's crack "Stealth Invasion Force" or SIF has established a beachhead on the Venezuelan coast outside of the capital city, Caracas. It is estimated that approximately 700 SIF combatants have...

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Funny story: Dennis Rodman to Represent Obama at the Hugo Chavez Funeral

Dennis Rodman to Represent Obama at the Hugo Chavez Funeral

The White House has announced this evening that Ambassador-At-Large Dennis Rodman will represent President Obama at Hugo Chavez' funeral. It is rumored that Chavez was a huge admirer of the basketball diplomat and that his last words were, "Denn...

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Funny story: Dennis Rodman and North Korean Dictator to Mediate Congressional SNAFU

Dennis Rodman and North Korean Dictator to Mediate Congressional SNAFU

Dennis Rodman and Kim Jung Un have decided to offer themselves up to President Barack Obama as the best way to facilitate a detente between the Democrats and Republicans in Congress. According to a Pyong Penh media report, the basketball near-grea...

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Funny story: Kate's Spew on eBay

Kate's Spew on eBay

Specimens of the Duchess of Cambridge's (formerly Kate Middleton) vomitus have been smuggled out of hospital and are now finding their way onto the eBay auction website. Princess Catharine has been recently hospitalised due to extreme hyperemesi...

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Funny story: Identity of Dog Implicated in Bestial-Homicide Case Discovered

Identity of Dog Implicated in Bestial-Homicide Case Discovered

Law enforcement has finally identified the anonymous canine that was involved in the bizarre bestiality-homicide case that has rocked the underpinnings of British high society. It was only a few short weeks ago that Scotland Yard arrested the proc...

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Funny story: Jesus' Wife is not Jesus' Wife: New Translation

Jesus' Wife is not Jesus' Wife: New Translation

Yale Professor of Ancient Religions, Salvatore Crocifisso, disputes the translation of the newly-discovered Coptic text claiming that Jesus had a wife. The professor made his announcement yesterday at the Yale University's Student Union and Car Wash...

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Funny story: Fishes and Loaves Or Vice Versa

Fishes and Loaves Or Vice Versa

Time: 32 CE Place: On a hillside in Judea Judas Peter! Peter Hi, Judas. Problem? Judas Where have you been? Peter What do you mean? Judas What do you mean what do I mean? Where were you? Peter Oh, here and there. Judas Don't be so disingenuous with me, Peter. Remember, I knew you when you were just Simon. Peter OK…OK…. I was with the in-laws. So, crucify me.

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Funny story: Nibbles - A short gruesome play on cannibalism

Nibbles - A short gruesome play on cannibalism

Act One Mitchum Mr. Thwaite? Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite Yeah…What is it? Mitchum You OK, Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite I ain't bloody dead yet, mate. Mitchum I wasn't suggesting that… Thwaite Oh, I'm sure you weren't, mate. However, your verbal demeanor had a bit of anticipatory delight there. Mitchum How's that, Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite You were hoping that I cashed in and you co...

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Funny story: Pussy Riot Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

Pussy Riot Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

In Stockholm, Sweden, the Committee of Five has unanimously voted to award the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize to Pussy Riot. The Russian All-Girl Singing Troika has recently been condemned to two years hard labor in a Russian gulag for uttering blasphemous...

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Funny story: Paul Ryan Suddenly Withdraws as Romney's Choice for VEEP

Paul Ryan Suddenly Withdraws as Romney's Choice for VEEP

Just as quickly as it was announced that Paul Ryan was to be the Republican choice for Vice-President, he announced that it was his sad duty to withdraw his selection. About ten minutes after both Romney and Ryan spoke in front of the USS Wisconsi...

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