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Spoof stories written by Jimbo Gunn

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Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

Funny story: Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday. "Scotland m...

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Putin finally agrees to Syrian intervention - but only on horseback

Funny story: Putin finally agrees to Syrian intervention - but only on horseback

MOSCOW:- Russian president Rararas Putin today finally acceded to Western demands for action in Syria, but only if the invasion could be lead by a cavalry battalion, with the mighty Russian himself leading the charge. "American missiles will not b...

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Person who died yesterday still dead today

Funny story: Person who died yesterday still dead today

Obituary writers across the globe last night pushed hard at the boundaries of factual news reporting to write more stuff about the famous guy who yesterday died peacefully in his food blender, aged 82 (or 83, depending on whether you believe Wikipedi...

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Westminster in panic as Home Secretary revealed to be HUMAN

Funny story: Westminster in panic as Home Secretary revealed to be HUMAN

Westminster entered its deepest hour of crisis today as the Home Secretary revealed herself to be HUMAN. Her mask slipped at around half-past eleven this morning when she overruled the advice of her securocrats to free Gary McKinnon, a Scottish ma...

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Well-known wanker to quit wanking

Funny story: Well-known wanker to quit wanking

A well-known wanker is to quit public masturbation, amid revelations tonight that the onanist was not fully-behind the knuckle-shuffling cause. Art Pud-Puller, president of the National Jerk Society, has been accused of courting press attention fo...

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Government counter-terrorism strategy to price Al Qaeda off trains with a 10% annual fare hike

Funny story: Government counter-terrorism strategy to price Al Qaeda off trains with a 10% annual fare hike

Opinion: THE mainstream media today chose to focus on the massive threat the UK faced from Cyber-terrorists, instead of an impressive cornerstone of government policy that will slash the threat from real world terrorism and strengthen government coff...

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BBC to auction official book of clichés used in miners' rescue coverage - profits go to Maggie Thatcher foundation

Funny story: BBC to auction official book of clichés used in miners' rescue coverage - profits go to Maggie Thatcher foundation

A chance to literally own your very own piece of broadcasting history emerged after the BBC today indicated it would auction 150 copies of Carnage on the Scale of What Happened in Europe During the Two World Wars - the corporation's official book of...

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Shadow Cabinet anouncement was "clerical error"

Funny story: Shadow Cabinet anouncement was "clerical error"

A Labour Party spokesman today blamed the Shadow Cabinet announcement on a clerical error. The leader's secretary was taking dictation from Mr Miliband when he allegedly shouted "Balls!" in exasperation at forgetting the name of the MP he had chos...

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Blog gets read

Funny story: Blog gets read

The Twitterati whipped themselves up into a frenzy this afternoon after a blog got read. "I got a hit!" Tweeted the blogger, excitedly. "And it wasn't from my family, Twitter followers nor anyone from my local group therapy session either!" ... ..

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War link to death

Funny story: War link to death

An official report has shown a definite link between the deaths of tens of thousands of people in Afghanistan and Iraq and war. The Sherlock Higher Institute of Thought based in the French town of Sansmerde published their surprising conclusion on...

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Famous person dies, family "devastated"

Funny story: Famous person dies, family "devastated"

Today we can sensationally reveal that the family of a famous dead person are devastated at their passing. After literally hours of extensive research (mostly conducted in the business lounge at London's Heathrow Airport waiting for the next service...

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22 Caught

Funny story: 22 Caught

Elusive since 1961, 22 has finally been caught, putting an end to one of the last century's most enduring mysteries. The capture of 22 means Orr and the rest of the Fighting 256th Squadron can finally hang up their flying helmets and enjoy life.

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Triskaidekaphobic police round up 'killers'

Funny story: Triskaidekaphobic police round up 'killers'

Police forces across Britain worked together today to round up a large number of suspects in the country's biggest ever pre-emptive strike against potential serial killers. Recent data analysis lead by the Home Office, counter-terrorist agencies a...

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Documents found in government office

Funny story: Documents found in government office

A senior civil servant was reportedly dumbfounded to discover a large number of highly-classified documents in her office document safe, where they should be. The government employee, Janice Place, told the BBC that it was "highly unusual" to find...

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Warnings against panic cause panic, warn panic-merchants

Funny story: Warnings against panic cause panic, warn panic-merchants

Panic-merchants today in the Daily Telegraph warned that asking the public not to panic will only cause mass panic. The warning comes ahead of a planned panic by large sections of the public who haven't had the opportunity to panic since the last ma...

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Rainbow's Jeffrey to Release Damning Memoirs

Funny story: Rainbow's Jeffrey to Release Damning Memoirs

The rumoured plan by former Rainbow host Jeffrey to release his memoirs could sink the show, according to Rainbow fanatic Mike Meadow. Bungle, the show's current leader, has already come under fierce attack since Lord Freddy (formerly part of Rod,...

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World's oldest spoof discovered

Funny story: World's oldest spoof discovered

A collection of what are believed to be the world's oldest satirical writings has been uncovered by archaeologists excavating in Jordan. The numerous works explore a wide range of topics pertinent to the era including contraception, child care, fa...

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Heavy Snow Sweeps Britton

Funny story: Heavy Snow Sweeps Britton

20-stone (280lb/127kg) Canadian rap artist Snow tonight faces multiple assault charges after lashing out at daytime TV presenter Fern Britton with a chimneysweep's broom. The 86-year-old Informer performer hit out during a heated argument over the g...

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