Gary Jones of Miami, Florida has released a statement to the world wide news media that states that after an exhaustive privately funded study, he has concluded that elves are probably real.
NASA - Officials in charge of the most recent Mars rover missions have announced that the red planet is getting into the kitchen appliances business. "When we got up out of that crater, we done saw the factories and the UPS trucks loading up wit...
"We knew it was bad when the kids told us they knew their 'ABG's'," senior analyst Paul Wellmark of the Institute For Minor Education said, Tuesday.
"It's like your listening... your listening... SHSHSHSHHSHSHSHSHH!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha..." said Harvey Finglebert, head of the RIAA's new 1, 2, MP3 Faux department said.
Washington, D.C. - Monday, 2/16/04, 7:35pm Eastern time, escaped monkeys took over the White House. Though rampaging and loudly destroying government property, the group wasn't detected until about 8:57pm the same night.
"Then he went outside to pee. He was a good soldier he. Went outside when he needed to to pee. For lunch he had spinach wraps. We paid him $7.35 an hour for his militaryism."...
"At least it was only a dollar!" older people can be heard saying, after seeing Academy Award Nominated films such as "Lost In Translation" in their local dollar theater.
"What was that trash even about?" is another common collective comment made by groups of elderly people who insist on spending their time going to movies they "heard were good" when...
In a press release today, Clear Channel announced it has been in talks with General Mills to purchase the Cheerios brand of cereal.
That's right. Moby is a monkey. A simian musician. A primate philanthropist. A banana diet denizen of NYC.
Moby Moby, of NYC, is a monkey. He has ears. He has a mouth with which to eat bananas and ants and the like. He has eyes with which to see nits on the other monkey's heads. He runs about in a very monkeyish way. He is friends with Michael Moore, as many monkeys are. That is no...
In a move that will surely shock most sane people living in almost all the developed countries, George W. Bush has grown extensive facial hair (using miracle Hair Club For Men formula only available to presidents and those who are balding) and has ch...
Ever since NASA began releasing new images of the Martian surface the world has been rather dismayed. The worries need not continue however, NASA has heeded the public outcry.
In another press conference held by Mars, the red planet adamantly defended its hunger to a crowd of shocked and upset reporters.
In a press conference held by the Beagle 2 lander late Tuesday morning, the lander made some comments pertaining to the previous conferences held by NASA and Mars.
In a press conference held this morning by Mars, the red planet made some statements addressing the charges alleged by NASA yesterday.
In a press conference held by NASA yesterday it was revealed that Mars is eating our space probes. "First it was a couple landers, now it's a Beagle" Nasa spokeswoman Jacquelyn Barker said, Monday.
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