WASHINGTON, D.C., Nov. 21 — In a joke-filled pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House this morning, President Biden continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 45,999,998 turkeys. While Forbes estimates that…
WASHINGTON, Nov. 22 -- In a joke-filled pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House yesterday afternoon, President Trump continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 51,649,998 turkeys. While USA Today estimates...
WASHINGTON, Nov. 24 -- In a joke-filled pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House yesterday afternoon, President Obama continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 45,999,998 turkeys. Tater and Tot, two turkeys...
WASHINGTON, Nov. 22 -- In a pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House yesterday afternoon, President Obama continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 45,999,998 turkeys. Cobbler and Gobbler, two turkeys who h...
KETTERING, OH; Oct. 30, 2012 -- While former governor Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama have agreed to suspend campaigning activities in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, Romney is accusing Obama of not honoring the agreement, claiming that Obama's b...
NEW YORK, Sept. 10 -- Following the captivating final match ending fifteen days of mind-boggling athleticism and heart-stopping drama at the US Open in Flushing Meadows, the borough of Manhattan will return to not giving a crap about the borough of Q...
As legendary theater and film composer Marvin Hamlisch is buried today in Manhattan, most Americans still feel nothing, local sources say. "Nothing. I'm feeling nothing," said most Americans when asked Hamlisch's passing last week in Los Angeles...
WASHINGTON, Nov. 25 -- In a pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House this afternoon, President Obama continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 45,999,998 turkeys. The two pardoned turkeys, Courage and an un...
In keeping with its stern policy of making the best possible visual impression during the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, ranking members of the Chinese Politboro have ordered their national Olympic committee to replace three of their seasoned and wel...
WAHSINGTON, Nov. 20 -- In the 60th annual pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House, President Bush kept with a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 49,999,998 turkeys prior to the holiday. Two turkeys named May...
LOS ANGELES, April 26, 2007 -- Due to strong adult content, including intense grief and a graphic depiction of a dead body, the funeral of former Motion Picture Assoc. of America chairman Jack Valenti will be rated R, and children in attendance under...
NEW YORK, Jan. 14 - Fox News Channel, the 24-hour cable edition of the New York Post, has announced that they will close down their issue-manufacturing plant following a poor year-end showing, citing a downturn in believability and indicatio...
The anti-doping committee of the Konami "Track & Field" Association, citing rampant steroid usage amongst its competitors in the early days of competition, has stripped Japanese hexathalon legends EEE, FFF and GGG of the world records they...
60,000 new job seekers spontaneously appear in Vermont following blowout concert...
Seller Insists Bird is "Just Pining For the Fjords"...
Emperor George Steinbrenner today revealed that his Evil Empire has already begun construction on a baseball stadium in orbit over the forest moon of Endor. This new Death Diamond will house the New York Yankees, a horrific sports franchise capable...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Bush today announced his support of a Constitutional amendment banning childless or otherwise yucky marriage. "We all know that the marriage is a sacred institution, intended for the purpose of procreating and raising...
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