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Spoof stories written by Erskin Quint

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Funny story: More Tory Leadership Candidates Reveal Drug-Fuelled Pasts

More Tory Leadership Candidates Reveal Drug-Fuelled Pasts

The Tory Leadership stakes have risen dramatically in the last 24 hours, with more and more candidates confessing to past illegal drug-use, writes Archery, Bridge, Hare-Jugging, Real Tennis, Topological Homeomorphism and Political Correspondent, Clai...

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Funny story: Letters to the Editor about Donald Trump

Letters to the Editor about Donald Trump

Dear Spoufe, I think it is terrible the way that people are calling Donald Trump a racist, and a bigot, and having a go at Nigel Farage. Let's face it, at least these gentlemen have the balls to say what we all think. And what's wrong with...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News: Island Tourism Ravaged by Fake Nelson Scourge

Isle of Wight News: Island Tourism Ravaged by Fake Nelson Scourge

The winter nights may be drawing in, but usually, on the Isle of Wight, it's still all systems go at this time of year, writes Tourism, Graeco-Roman Wrestling, Permaculture, Snuff, Pest Control, Differential Topology and Gynaecology correspondent, No...

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Funny story: Man Reacts to Reactions to Story About Stories About Men Doing Things

Man Reacts to Reactions to Story About Stories About Men Doing Things

A local man has reacted to the reactions stimulated by a Spoof story he may or may not have written about the recent proliferation of stories being published in The Spoof that are about a Man doing things. The man, 47, who lives in the middle of n...

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Funny story: Man Writes Spoof Story About Spoof Stories About Men Doing Stuff

Man Writes Spoof Story About Spoof Stories About Men Doing Stuff

A local man has written a Spoof story about the many Spoof stories recently appearing in The Spoof that are being written with headlines including the word Man. "I was inspired by all these stories with titles like Local Man Buys New Toaster, Man...

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Funny story: David Batty Deserves England Send-Off, says Phil Neville

David Batty Deserves England Send-Off, says Phil Neville

England Netball team boss Phil Neville was adamant yesterday that nobody should question David Batty's recall to the England football squad for the friendly against the USA. "I'm adamant that nobody should question David Batty's recall to the Engl...

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Funny story: David Bowie Hid In Coal Shed To Avoid Roger Moore

David Bowie Hid In Coal Shed To Avoid Roger Moore

Details are emerging about the fragile relationship between mercurial maestro and matador of avant-garde pop musicianship David Bowie, and Bond star Roger Moore. "David, or 'Alan', as he liked to be called back then, met some pretty weird characte...

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Funny story: Problem Page With Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse

Problem Page With Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse

Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse was voted Number One Nag For Problem-Solving in a new Gallop Poll Dear Robert, I am a lesbian and my wife doesn't love me any more. I have tried everything to get back in her good books. I have even started doing DIY, and had my hair cropped, but she isn't impressed. She has got a new butch personal trainer and is spending a lot of time with her. What c...

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Funny story: Letters To The Editor About Noel Coward

Letters To The Editor About Noel Coward

Dear Sir, We really enjoyed the Noel Coward lyrics you printed in your last edition. Please let us have more of these rollicking Noel Coward pieces. They really brighten our day. They reminded us of that jolly movie "The Italian Job". Also we remember the days when Noel used to play "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" on the piano, while Lord Boothby was the strict Head Teacher and we were the v...

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Funny story: Secret Sepia Life of Ex-Blue Peter Presenter Peter Purves Revealed

Secret Sepia Life of Ex-Blue Peter Presenter Peter Purves Revealed

The discovery of a rare sepia photograph of ex-Blue Peter presenter Peter Purves covering legendary music hall entertainer Little Tich in cling film backstage at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, has revealed a secret relationship hitherto unrevealed, w...

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Funny story: "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian

"Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian

A leading amateur historian has astonished the world of amateur history by claiming that Jesus of Nazareth and his Disciples were Scottish, writes Religion Correspondent, Mary Mag Delaney. Jock McSporran of Lossiemouth, for it is he, made the asto...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women

Robert Pattinson Likes Older Women

Twilight luminary Robert Pattinson is very rich. He is very rich because he has earned a lot of money. He has earned a lot of money because he has acted in fillums about sexy star-crossed teen vampires which offer those who don't want to use their im...

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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Is Getting Old

Kim Kardashian Is Getting Old

Shakespeare said of Cleopatra that "Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety." However, it is surely different in our Modern Fast-Moving Age, and it is time to admit that Kim Kardashian is getting old. She is not as young as...

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Funny story: Melania Trump Falls Over

Melania Trump Falls Over

Shock news reached the airwaves yesterday, 10pm Washington time, when it was announced that Melania Trump "falls over". Panic reigned in the Trump Towers, with butlers and henchmen running up and down the golden escalators, and intercoms jammed. "We...

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Funny story: Eric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle

Eric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle

Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government Eric Pickles is to be replaced by a dugong in the General Election. The shock history-making revelation was made in an extraordinary constituency meeting in Brentwood and Ongar yesterday. "I...

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Funny story: Frankie Howerd on the General Election

Frankie Howerd on the General Election

Good evening, Ooh no, don't. Don't laugh. Oh no. What a week I've had. What a week, Missus. Have you had a week? I bet you have. No, don't titter. Don't mock the afflicted. Oh but what a week it's been. Yes. No. Ooh. Hang on while I make some adjustments. I'm still breaking in these trousers you see. Don't mock. I shall have to knock through at this rate. No. Don't laugh. Yes, you Missus. Ca...

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Funny story: Election Thoughts with Reverend W A Spooner

Election Thoughts with Reverend W A Spooner

Mood Gorning, I tant to walk today about the forthcoming General Election, which is only wee threeks away and is constantly deing biscussed in all the marious vedia. Some of you might fe beeling a fittle led up of all the telection alk and may creel like frying out: "I stan't cand many ore of this! I wish I fas war away hom frere." To all of you I say: "I hear you and I understand". It al...

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