Gary Johnson, 48, and the fictional subject of a few stories written by an equally fictional writer has insisted, that he really is not that interesting. 'The thing is,' said the fictional buffoon, 'I am completely fictional, but it does not mean...
Gary Johnson 48, is shocked to hear that Woolworths has been shut down for a decade. The music fan revealed that although his music tastes are fairly broad and up-to-date, he last bought an album from a shop when Moby's Play album first came out.
Gary Johnson, 48, who suffers from Insomnia after buying tickets for Jedward for his 30th wedding anniversary, has exclusively revealed to us that he has just indulged in Dido's latest release. 'I was on that Amazon type thing' said Johnson, as if...
Gary Johnson, 48, has revealed that for his 30th Wedding anniversary, he has bought his long-suffering wife, Lorraine, tickets for the never-popular Jedward. 'When I saw that they were touring, I just thought that Lorraine would love to see them.
Gary Johnson 48, fears that he has lost his sense of humour. It started when he was listening to the comedy slot on Radio 4 at 6.30, and deepened when his wife was watching repeats of Miranda, Not Going Out and Mrs Brown's Boys. Johnson said 'I wa...
News has reached us that the Autumn television schedules are to highlight one particular show, called 99 paperclips. Ninety-nine paperclips will be broadcast every week for the next two years, and each week a celebrity or someone most people have...
Although it has not been mentioned in the press for years, a man in his forties is worried that he still hasn't made his decision about which group he prefers, Oasis or Blur. Gary Braithwaite, 47, said "It was an issue years ago, when I was trying...
Colin Braithwaite, a northern vicar, has bought some trainers that were briefly popular in the 1980s. He told us 'I saw these trainers on-line on eBay and thought that what I need as a trendy vicar, is some trendy trainers, to go with my trendy ta...
The radio documentary about farming life, The Archers, has revealed that the festive treat that is Ambridge's Pantomime is already in the planning stages. Lydia Snell told us 'We are looking at scripts and ideas already. I know it is only March, b...
Brick Mandelay, 47, is bitterly complaining, again. "God, I have so many things to complain about," said the cossetted and really very lucky middle-aged chap. "I wake up in the morning, and I have to go to work, where everyone is a bit of a prick,...
Timothy Claypole Dobbin, an actor known for playing very angry men at the end of a short fuse, has revealed that he is not like that at all in real-life. Dobbin, who takes his stage name from a character in Rent-a-Ghost and a character in Vanity F...
Known as the man who wasted nearly £500,000 on projects that he knew nothing about, MP Chris Grayling has clung onto power, but the fish that share his name have asked for it to be changed. Gary Johnson, a three year old Grayling said 'It is bad e...
Are you a child of the 1970's? With Brexit less than four weeks to go, we will look back to a simpler time. 1) Types of Crisps Frazzles, Quavers, or Monster Munch. None of this crap advertised by Footballers. 2) Transport Roller Skates, S...
Gary Thatcher Hogbottom, a single man of considerable means, is confused as to why the photos he puts up on Firestarter.web get him no attention from the opposite gender. 'I put up photos of all of the fish I catch,' said the balding, portly forty...
It has been revealed that the world of television has moved on to its sixth clone of Josh Widdicombe. In related news, there have been 501 Piers Morgans, nine Kathryn Ryans and twelve Sara Pascoes. A television spokesman said 'These celebrities on...
Denise Bartholomew has revealed that she is sick of cutting the hair of Storm Troopers, and is looking for more of a challenge. 'There is not much to do, really. I give them all a good-haircut, and then they hide them inside those helmets. It is s...
Gary Wallace, an acquisitions manager in section 4b of the Death Star, has revealed on social media that, although he did successfully order a spare light saber and matching battery pack and gloves, he forgot to order moth repellent. This is not t...
A man who has not watched television for two days is at a loss to explain the lack of Sara Pascoe in his life. The comedian, seemingly on everything that Katherine Ryan, Josh Widdicombe, Richard Osman, Romesh Ranganathan, and that other chap have...
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