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Man is already deciding how he will break his new year's resolution

Funny story: Man is already deciding how he will break his new year's resolution

Kevin Brown, a 41 year old slightly overweight chap with no personality, life goals, partner or idea of what to with his hair in the mornings, has today, on October 3rd 2018 decided how he will break his new year's resolutions. Brown told us 'I ha...

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7-Year-Old Boy Learns That Conkers Aren't Legal Tender

Funny story: 7-Year-Old Boy Learns That Conkers Aren't Legal Tender

Tommy Hodgkins, a 7-year-old from Mithering on the Trent, has learnt the hard way, that conkers are not legal tender in the real world. 'My Mum and Dad wanted a new sofa, so we went into DFS on the high street, because it was their sale. They look...

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Dave and Gary - The Deathstar It Guys - A Star Wars story

Funny story: Dave and Gary - The Deathstar It Guys - A Star Wars story

Shane Millichip, a senior writer at Disney, has revealed the film we are all waiting for, 'Dave and Gary - The Deathstar IT Guys - A Star Wars Story', is set to be released in November 2021. Set on the Death Star in a galaxy far, far away, and a l...

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Man not overly concerned about the ending of Television programmes

Funny story: Man not overly concerned about the ending of Television programmes

Gary Wayne, a 44-year-old failed accountancy student, chemist, and shop worker, told his friend, Bob, in the pub, that the ending of television programmes do not have that much impact on his life, if he is honest. Gary said 'I was talking to Bob a...

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Paperclip Accountant wants career change to being a body guard

Funny story: Paperclip Accountant wants career change to being a body guard

Gary Worthington, 48, a decorated accountant for a leading paperclip manufacturer, has told anyone who will listen about his plans to become a bodyguard. 'I was watching that programme, the Bodyguard, expecting Kevin Costner to pop out, oooh, err,...

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Man listening to the Archer's omnibus realises his life has peaked.

Funny story: Man listening to the Archer's omnibus realises his life has peaked.

Nelson Trevor, 69, has reached the zen realisation after listening to the Sunday morning Archer's omnibus that his life has peaked. The morose character said 'I was just listening to the Archers this morning, and they were banging on and on and on a...

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Water-cooler TV

Funny story: Water-cooler TV

Scroobiious Moneybags from the Sell My Grandmother's Back Teeth Television Company has hit upon a brilliant new idea. Speaking at a press conference earlier today, he unveiled his newest idea - Water-Cooler television. He said: ' I hear all of the...

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Man tries to explain the concept of a Big Brother-free world to his teenage children

Funny story: Man tries to explain the concept of a Big Brother-free world to his teenage children

A man in Stevenage has tried to explain to his teenage children, daughter Magnolia and son Weetabix, that a Big Brother-free world would be a better alternative. Bolton Smith said 'Yes, now that Big Brother is finally over, I think that we can all...

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Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Funny story: Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...

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Men realises waistcoats aren't the way to go in a heatwave

Funny story: Men realises waistcoats aren't the way to go in a heatwave

Tony Hemmings, 33, the cock of the walk in Basingstoke has realised that despite Gareth Southgate's leading work in the field, waist-coats are not the defacto male clothing to be worn during a heat-wave. 'Imagine my surprise, to be following the s...

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Man in his 30's uploads old photos to dating website

Funny story: Man in his 30's uploads old photos to dating website

Wayne Hemmings, 30 realised that he might have made a mistake uploading photographs to Match.com that were twenty years old. 'I heard it was a common move that people in their 40's and 50's did it, so I did the same thing'. What Wayne didn't re...

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Poldark fan angry to learn that her husband likes Demelza

Funny story: Poldark fan angry to learn that her husband likes Demelza

Lorraine Johnson, like many people likes watching Poldark, for its intrigue, well drawn characters, scenery and easy on the eye cast was angered by the fact that her husband Gary only watches it for Demelza. 'Imagine my surprise' said Lorraine 'wh...

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Idiot regrets not knowing what a book is about before giving it to his girlfriend for her birthday

Funny story: Idiot regrets not knowing what a book is about before giving it to his girlfriend for her birthday

Idiot Wayne Johnson realised that he had done something wrong when his girlfriend Celia looked at him and asked 'Is this what you think I am?' Buying the book 'The Perfect Girlfriend' by Karen Hamilton in the book aisle at Tesco, when shopping for...

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60 year old man with half of his teeth, and no money doesn't understand why he isn't attractive to younger women

Gary Wayne Johnson from Chutney on the Fritz, a sixty-three-year-old with a habit of losing his teeth to the dentist can't understand why women half his age aren't interested in him like they are with wealthy and successful film stars and musicians.

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Cruel Gits to launch new range of greeting cards

A new range of greeting cards is to be released by the marketing company Cruel Bastards Incorporated. The cards are designed to cheer up people following tragic and sad, everyday life events. Death, relationship break-ups, and a good football team...

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Surprisingly, study by scientists finds that muscular men make the worst boyfriends

Funny story: Surprisingly, study by scientists finds that muscular men make the worst boyfriends

A study by scientists has found that the type of men that used to bully them in school make the worst type of boyfriend. 'Yes' said Leonard Oxygen 'it may look like sour grapes, but we have found, scientifically, and factually, that science and fa...

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Teresa May not scared by petitions on Social Media

Funny story: Teresa May not scared by petitions on Social Media

Political Puppet Teresa 'I am really only Prime Minister because no-one else wanted to be Prime Minister, and nobody wanted Boris Johnson to be Prime Minister' May has said, once and and for all that petitions on Social Media have no bearing on how s...

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Hydrogren and Oxygen really only sticking together for the kids

Funny story: Hydrogren and Oxygen really only sticking together for the kids

Mike Hydrogen and Kate Oxygen, known throughout the world as the important duo Water, have admitted that they are really only sticking together for the kids. Hydrogren said: 'I always felt I was doing all of the work. There I was, putting in twice...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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