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Spoof stories written by Soren Narnia

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Major League Baseball Announces Winners of 2007 Wobbling Doughnut Awards

NEW YORK, July 15 - Commissioner of Major League Baseball Bud Selig today revealed the winners of the 2007 Wobbling Doughnut Awards, celebrating the fourteenth year of their existence.

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Windows Vista: Patches and Fixes

Windows Vista---worth the money? Well, it definitely is if you're like me---well-connected to a very high-placed sales rep at PC Magazine who sold me his copy for $35 and my DVD of Leprechaun, which, friends and neighbors, I've had for so long that he's forgotten IT'S ACTUALLY HIS (SCORE!!) But predictably, Bill Gates's newest offering is full of problems. Simply right...

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Several Movies I Could Have Ruined If Only I Had Just Been Given the Chance

Lord of the Rings Frodo discovers Sudoku halfway through the adventure and from that point on can't even be bothered to look up from the goddamn page once in a while...

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This Week's Chicken Specials

Perdue Farms chicken---mass-produced, chickens kept inhumanely $4.99 per pound...

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Ten Movies I Will Never Make

1) "It's an out-of-this-world holiday romp that'll have you on a rocketship to fun!"...

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Thirty-two Monopoly Strategies That Simply Do Not Work

1) buying both utilities...

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Ten Captions for Lesser-Known Garfield Cartoons

1) I'M ALMOST CERTAIN IT'S ONLY A PLUSH TOY, BUT MAN, I WOULDN'T MIND GETTIN' ON SOME OF THAT...

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Yuletide Fire Log Videos In Review

It may only be July, but it's never to early to think about just which Yuletide Fire Log video you've got to add to your holiday collection. Here's the skinny on the best of the best on DVD: Yuletide Fire Log * * *...

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