For the sake of those not familiar with the double-speak required of the modern Beltway politian, and who lack the historical context needed to dig out the burined meanings, we provide the following translation of the President's recent speech: My fellow Americans, tonight I want to talk to you about Syria, why it matters and why we can't go anywhere from here. Over the past two years, what...
An American Indian woman who faced ridicule for converting to Christianity and fled to Quebec is likely to become the first indigenous saint in North America, if we ignore the several native saints in Mexico and Central America. Pope Benedict XVI sig...
WASHINGTON DC - In response to ill-considered reports by the UN and the Roman Catholic Church that squarely put the blame on Assassine Ouattara's IMF-backed New Army for approximately 800 civilian deaths in the town of Duekoue, President Obama has de...
La Douche, LA--Retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen, the federal government's point man in the Gulf, said Monday that attempts to permanently seal the Deepwater Horizon well won't start until the latest potential problem is evaluated. Allen said en...
The South Carolina primary election victory of Democrat Alvin Greene (for US Senate, to face incumbent Jim DeMint-R) has breathed new life into Republican Congressman J. Gresham Barrett's runoff bid for governor. Greene's upset over establishment...
MOSCOW - As of Monday, 87 corpses have been recovered by Russian rescuers at the crash site of the Polish presidential plane. The bodies are being sent to Moscow where forty-five have already been identified, the Russian health minister said. The Pre...
WASHINGTON DC--Congress, seeking a bilateral issue with which to overcome vitriolic partisanship, declared February 29th to be Micheal Jackson Day, honoring the "King of Pop". The honor follows on the heels of a Lifetime Achievement Grammy for the...
Secret Service Director Marcus Sillyman was on the spot again on Friday, as the committee investigating the gatecrashing incident at a White House state dinner took shots at the agency for failing to follow up on a massive counterfeiting bust in Ital...
President Barack Obama today weighed in on the long-running Abbot-Royce dispute, which has festered for over 120 years. Dr. Francis Ellingwood Abbot claimed in 1891 that Dr. Royce's review of his book "The Way out of Agnosticism" falsely accused...
WASHINGTON DC-Produce from the White House organic garden has been found to contain several commonly used pesticides, forcing the First Lady to come clean. Lettuce and cherry tomatoes carried home from a White House organic garden harvesting event...
A lawsuit by Amanda Holden and her husband Desmond Tutu against peeping-Tom paparazzo working for the London Daily Soft-porn News has the print and online media scrambling to expunge her images from their pages. 'Actress' Amanda Holden claimed in...
The producers of Britain's Got Talent have finally responded to a flood of viewer requests and an online petition asking them to release an uninterrupted mike and camera feed of Susan Boyle singing "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserable. Petitione...
Susan Boyle, after a week in which she received several offers of a first kiss and gave "no comment" about whether she had yet received one, has finally spoken. "Aren't people missing the point of kissing? If I wanted to be kissed so badly I could...
A contestant claiming to be Christ reincarnate, of the line of David, returned to redeem the chosen, appeared on Britain's Got Talent in Cardiff, Wales on Monday, but was rejected early into his act. The Son of God, dressed in magic act garb, perf...
The budding friendship between Paul Potts and Susan Boyle has take a turn south, after Boyle set her sights on Potts' lucky song, Nessun Dorma. He has stopped taking fish and chips with her on Wednesdays and went so far as to say that she put too...
With a click of the mouse you too can give your opinion about which of the favorites on the Britain's Got Talent television show will go on to the finals: Susan Boyle or Shaheen Jafargholi. Susan Boyle is an unassuming middle-aged woman, apparent...
Susan Boyle, who has over 34 million fans on YouTube, spoke to and sang for Oprah Winfrey last night. At the conclusion of the interview, she sang Summertime, from the Gershwin & Hammerstein production of Porgy and Bess. Oprah Winfrey appeared...
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