Spoof stories written by Dave Stewart

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Thief in red van steals letters from post boxes

POLICE have launched a man-hunt following the theft of letters and parcels from postal Pillar Boxes across the UK. Members of the public reported to Police a red van drawing up at double yellow lines, shortly vacated by a blue-capped man in his 40...

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Bakery delivery boy wins Tour De France

A BAKERY delivery boy from Yorkshire has won the Tour De France two months before it is due to begin. Slowly pushing a bicycle up a hill to the tune of 'Going Home' from Dvorak's 9th Symphony, Peter Leyland passed the finish line in Harrogate as e...

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Tony Blair elected Pope

Former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has been elected Pope in a widely expected effort by The Vatican to increase the Church's popularity. Members of the Papal Conclave, charged with electing a new Pope, studied Blair's 1997 Election campaign material...

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BBC 4 discovers crime in Scandinavia

High-brow BBC documentary channel BBC 4 is now almost two years through its research into the discovery of murders, kidnappings, and car thefts in Northern Europe. Given the lack of evidence of such occurrences prior to the first screening of Wallend...

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Panic as bus arrives on time in Liverpool

At 10.20am British Transport Police responded to an incident on St. Mary's Road, Garsten, Liverpool, following a 999 call that a bus' timely arrival had compromised cherished national satisfaction with mediocrity. The current standard by which the bu...

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Classical Music Revealed As Scam

The Assistant Chairman of the National Organisation for Classical Music yesterday revealed the truth regarding allegations made against the genre by members of the public. Sir George Michael was ostensibly forced into making the following statement due to the mounting protests from the masses that classical music was unconstitutional as a genre. Sir Michael made the statement in Bonn on Tuesday...

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Boy trapped down well is in fact Paul Simon

Newark Fire Department received a 911 call at 6.02am this morning from a concerned member of the public after a small boy was seen to fall into a disused water well. East Ward Station responded to the emergency call and arrived at the scene at approx...

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News Items Branded Too Vague

Funny story: News Items Branded Too Vague

A man has criticised a news organisation in Europe by claiming that some news was not detailed enough for some people.

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Russian Army Troop Level Increased to 92

Funny story: Russian Army Troop Level Increased to 92

In a reversal of fortune for the once great Russian Army, Vladimir Putin has announced the biggest military funding for the Russian Federation since 1981.

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Danny DeVito for Mayor of Blackpool?

Funny story: Danny DeVito for Mayor of Blackpool?

Danny DeVito may spur major investment in English seaside town.

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Nazi Party in takeover deal with History Channel

Funny story: Nazi Party in takeover deal with History Channel

The Estate of the Third Reich are in formal talks this week with popular documentary cable network the 'History Channel.' The talks may be the final process of a long speculated take-over of the documentary channel by the Nazi Party of German...

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