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Spoof stories written by Robert W. Armijo

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Funny story: White House Unleashes 'Obama Girl' to Regenerate the Faithful?

White House Unleashes 'Obama Girl' to Regenerate the Faithful?

In the first of what could become the last ditch efforts to rehabilitate his tarnished image as a liberal and progressive after losing Ted Kennedy's Senate seat and his party's filibuster proof (though still possessing a so-called super majority in the house) to Republican, Scott Brown, President Barack reluctantly decided it is time once more for 'Obama Girl' to work her magic, regenerating the f...

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Funny story: Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance!"

Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance!"

"Johnny's still dead, isn't he? Wait, wait...I just sent you a picture of his headstone that my daughter took this morning. Check you're email. Go ahead. I'll wait," said Joan Rivers while she was laid out on the operating table of her Brazilian plastic surgeon's office as she spoke with her agent over the speakerphone. "Well then. Did you get it? Good. So you see, I still got a chance! You just d...

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Funny story: Kate Gosselin: "My new hair extensions make me look six kids younger, don't you think?"

Kate Gosselin: "My new hair extensions make me look six kids younger, don't you think?"

"I could never have longhair before," explained Kate Gosselin as she sat in a hair salon chair admiring her new hair extensions with a handheld mirror. "You know, because Jon always kept getting bubble gum, popsicle sticks or his sticky fingers stuck up all in it. That's how I ended up with that crazy looking hairdo. I was always having to cut it and all the time it kept getting shorter and shorte...

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Funny story: Dr. Phil Blames 40 Years of Sesame Street's Cookie Monster for Kid Obesity

Dr. Phil Blames 40 Years of Sesame Street's Cookie Monster for Kid Obesity

"You do realize that some critics hold you solely responsible for the current epidemic of obesity in American children today," said Dr. Phil as he spoke with Sesame Street's 'Cookie Monster'. "Now I wouldn't go that far as to blame just you. Diet and heredity has a lot to do with kids gaining weight, too, But, and that's a big but, no pun intended, I do hold your eating disorder and obsession wit...

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Funny story: Captain "Sully" Returns to the Sky

Captain "Sully" Returns to the Sky

New York, New York - As Chesley Sullenburg's (Capt. Sully) voice came over the public address system (PSA), a cheer went up from the passengers aboard the now infamous flight, US Airways 1549. They were all on board for the restoration of the flight...

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Funny story: "Tsunami" Has So. Californians Reaching for Their Dictionaries

"Tsunami" Has So. Californians Reaching for Their Dictionaries

Venice Beach, California - Costal Southern Californians are reaching for their dictionaries looking up the word "Tsunami" or typing it into google right now, because enlightened longhaired suffer types persuaded their local representatives that coast...

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Funny story: Indonesian Baby Hercules Walked Out of Mother's Womb?

Indonesian Baby Hercules Walked Out of Mother's Womb?

Kisaran, Indonesia - With his mother rendered unconscious by the intensity of the labor pains, the 19.2 pound 24.4 inch unborn infant, still covered in his mother starched out skin, instinctively knew he had to take matters into his own hands. "I had...

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Funny story: Giant Indonesian Baby May Reach "Terrible Twos" Stage in Matter of Days

Giant Indonesian Baby May Reach "Terrible Twos" Stage in Matter of Days

Kisaran, Indonesia - The body of the mother of a giant Indonesian baby was discovered in her house in a mummified state today, just days after she gave a caesarian birth to a 19.2 pound 24.4 inch baby boy and released from the hospital. "Despite...

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Funny story: Kermit The Frog Vanishes While Doing Glenn Beck Piece for "Bill Moyers Journal"

Kermit The Frog Vanishes While Doing Glenn Beck Piece for "Bill Moyers Journal"

New York, New York - An emotional Miss Piggy walked into a New York Police Station today claiming she has not heard or seen from her life long companion, Kermit The Frog, since he was assigned to do an investigative reporting piece on Glenn Beck by t...

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Funny story: Glenn Beck's Boiled Frog Incident Blamed On Chronic Dry Eye Condition

Glenn Beck's Boiled Frog Incident Blamed On Chronic Dry Eye Condition

Washington, DC - "Glenn just didn't see that it was a live frog he grabbed out of the tank and tossed into a pot of boiling water," said a co-producer of the Glenn Beck TV show at a press conference called to explain Glenn Beck's actions that so shoc...

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Funny story: Mackenzie Phillips' "Abstinence Begins at Home" PSA Spot Considered too Controversial?

Mackenzie Phillips' "Abstinence Begins at Home" PSA Spot Considered too Controversial?

Los Angeles, California - The 10-second public service announcement (PSA) featuring Mackenzie Phillips standing in front of a giant poster sized photograph of now deceased father, John Phillips, engaged in an innocent kiss on the cheek was pulled by...

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Funny story: Kanye West Ban from Little Joey Goldberg's Bar Mitzvah

Kanye West Ban from Little Joey Goldberg's Bar Mitzvah

Los Angeles, California - Continuing his reign of domestic terror, Kanye West was last seen being ejected from Little Joey Goldberg's Bar Mitzvah at the Masonic Temple off Wilshire blvd., Los Angeles, California. He was forcibly removed after he took...

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Funny story: Mackenzie Phillips to Oprah: "The 'Kama Sutra' is just not a very good bedtime storybook at all."

Mackenzie Phillips to Oprah: "The 'Kama Sutra' is just not a very good bedtime storybook at all."

Chicago, Illinois - "Despite what you may hear from me here today about my relationship with my dad," said sober Mackenzie Phillips, offering up dating advice to the young women in the Oprah Show audience after her spine tingling, jaw dropping, mouth...

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Funny story: Pope Appoints Kanye West as Maximus Coitus Interruptus Envoy to the Vatican

Pope Appoints Kanye West as Maximus Coitus Interruptus Envoy to the Vatican

Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI has announced today that he has decided to appoint Kanye West as his special envoy to the Vatican spreading the message of the Catholic doctrine concerning the Church's position on the only acceptable method of birth...

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Funny story: Mary Travers' Last Confession: "Puff the Magic Dragon' Was Not About Pot. It Was About..."

Mary Travers' Last Confession: "Puff the Magic Dragon' Was Not About Pot. It Was About..."

San Francisco, California - "You know that song about a boy and his dragon that I would sing to you all the time?" reminisced Mary Travers in a low soft-spoken voice to her family and friends and a reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that gathered...

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Funny story: Jeremy Piven Gets Mercury Poisoning All Over Again in Off-Broadway Parody Play

Jeremy Piven Gets Mercury Poisoning All Over Again in Off-Broadway Parody Play

New York, New York - Jeremy Piven's may have recovered from an alleged bout with mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi that got him out of a play he did not want to do, but now it seems he is having a relapse. At least on a New York theater st...

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Funny story: Gay Marriage #1 Excuse Straight Men are Using Today to Put Off Tying the Knot

Gay Marriage #1 Excuse Straight Men are Using Today to Put Off Tying the Knot

Hollywood, California - "Telling your girlfriend that you won't get married until all your gay friends can get married too maybe the best excuse heterosexual men have ever thought up to forestall marriage or avoid it all together," said Dr. Fred by p...

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