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Spoof stories written by Ace Ventura

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Funny story: The 40 Year Old Virgin (+50 Years)

The 40 Year Old Virgin (+50 Years)

We've all heard that some people keep their self pure until marriage. But one Thaddeus B. Jerkwell takes that to a whole other level. Mr. Jerkwell is ninety years old. In the small town of Winchester, Kansas where everyone and their Mum's have a...

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Funny story: The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight

Vigalante? Hero? When I ventured out into the streets of Gotham my new area after being transferred from the Daily Assholes to the Gotham Bugle. (Hotter Chickitas) I got varied answers.

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Funny story: Harry Potter related to Emily Rose

Harry Potter related to Emily Rose

Some critics...well mostly me...ok only me say that there are certain relations between HPOOTP (Ootp that is so funny I shit myself everytime I hear that...oh crap well that's what's in my pants right now) between Harry Potter Five and the Exorcism of Emily Rose the scene in Harry Potter Five where Harry Potter (Pothead) is possed by he who smells (Barry Trotter Series by Michael Gerber) a...

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Funny story: It's Kaboom for Zoom

It's Kaboom for Zoom

Zoom Chewing Gum / Airway's stock crashed yesterday after a failed attempt by CEO Mr. Cornelius Zoom at a new flavored chewing guy sirloin steak.

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Funny story: The Simpsons Causes Eye Cancer

The Simpsons Causes Eye Cancer

The Longest Running Animated Comedy the Simpsons has been causing eye cancer for over 10 years!...

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Funny story: Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Stories

Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Stories

The popular game series from Rockstar, GTA as he players refer to it has become hugely succesful from GTA1 to GTA Vice City Stories. As many know the GTA games are based on real places Vice City/Miami, San Andreas/San Francisco/Hollywood/Las Vegas, Liberty City/New York and much more but what one gamer James "Angst" Focknut Murphy shouted as he threw his Playstation 2 out the window alon...

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Funny story: Spiderman 3 Let Down

Spiderman 3 Let Down

People who came out of Cinema 5 in Hitler Memorial Mall America Kansas City were angry, sad and dissapointed at the highly overrated Spiderman 3.

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Funny story: New Drug for Kids

New Drug for Kids

Everyone has heard of the drugs for kids who are dumb, stupid and can't focus. But what about those kids who over-acheive? Nerds? Geeks? Chess Club? What about them?!...

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Funny story: JK Rowling GOOD! Harry Potter BAD!

JK Rowling GOOD! Harry Potter BAD!

This reporter was wrong about JK Rowling (I WANT MISCHA BARTON BACK BITCH!) JK is a kind sweet generous person who would have loved to save Harry Potter from his tragic death but incriminating (FAKE) eveidence shows Harry Potter beating babies and stealing candy whilst JK frolocks through a meadow giving banana cake to children.

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Funny story: The End's Not Near It's Here

The End's Not Near It's Here

Soap fans in America were devastated when the season 4 finale of the popular TV Series The O.C. "The End's not near it's Here" aired last night.

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Funny story: PotterCOM Introduces New Product

PotterCOM Introduces New Product

Last week PotterCOM introduced the WAND. A thin long device which you activate by waving it and saying an activation key Wingardium Leviosa. After which, you must also say a wand-phone number and it makes the call.

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Funny story: I Told you so! Pottermania continues

I Told you so! Pottermania continues

Following the release of the refreshing Potterade apple juice drink from Powerade, the world has now started on the slippery slope towards Pottercraze!...

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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan on the road to be sexy again or trying to

Lindsay Lohan on the road to be sexy again or trying to

Fat saggy actress, Lindsay Lohan, has announced on CNN that she is cutting off the news from her Beverly Hills home.

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Funny story: Powerade to release new energy drink "Potterade"

Powerade to release new energy drink "Potterade"

Popular energy drink Powerade has signed a deal with Wanker Bros and J.K. Rowling in the next three Harry Potter and the films instead of drinking Butterbeer the Rowling creation they will be drinking Powerade.

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Funny story: Female Crime Wave Worsens

Female Crime Wave Worsens

In New York City a terrible plague has hit a crime wave. Women aged 20-25 have been kidnapping men beetween 18-29 and sexually assaulting them.

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Funny story: Harry Potter and the Death Hole

Harry Potter and the Death Hole

J.K. Rowling author of the unusually popular Harry Potter series held a press conference in London to talk about the plot of Harry Potter and the Death Hole. The story centres around Harry Fucker-...Potter? are you sure? it says Fucker on my sheet...BILLY! IT'S NOT FUNNY I WILL KICK YOUR WHITE ASS! Harry POTTER and his friends Hermione Grazer-...Granger? no way but...BILLLY! Hermione GRANGER a...

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Funny story: The JLA MOVIE CANCELLED!

The JLA MOVIE CANCELLED!

A few weeks ago I said that a JLA movie was coming out with a few hot actresses (not Paris Hilton!). It was cancelled by the worried mothers because the movie was rated G.

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