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Spoof stories written by Monkey Woods

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Funny story: Tugboat Stuck In River Hull

Tugboat Stuck In River Hull

After the controversy of the supertanker on the Suez Canal was finally laid to rest yesterday, a new hullaballoo unfolded in Hull, East Yorkshire this morning, as the hull of a tugboat in the River Hull became stuck in the filthy, grey-black sludge t…

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Funny story: Singing Star To Change Her Stage Name To Dodge Criticism

Singing Star To Change Her Stage Name To Dodge Criticism

International singing sensation Dildo has said she is considering changing her stage name to something a bit more 'normal', after she claimed she has begun to attract both criticism and resentment from people who say that her name reminds them of som…

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Funny story: Man Emerges From 5-Year Coma And Refuses To Believe Trump Had Been President

Man Emerges From 5-Year Coma And Refuses To Believe Trump Had Been President

In news from Washington, it's been reported that a man from the city, who had been in a coma from early 2016 until he emerged from it just last week, has steadfastly refused to believe that, for the previous four years, Donald Trump had been the pres…

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Funny story: Adolf Hitler Still Missing

Adolf Hitler Still Missing

Authorities in Berlin say there is still no sign of the former German Reichskanzler Adolf Hitler, who led the country from 1933, and during the Second World War. Hitler, who would have been 132 years old next month, is reputed to have given instru…

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Funny story: The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #11: The Dragonfly

The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #11: The Dragonfly

Hello, everyone. It's Tuesday again, and time to delve into that magical box of mysteries that is the Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals! Today, I have selected from the zillions of uninteresting animals available a particularly uninterestin…

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Funny story: Man Paid In Peanuts Concerned About Transfer Of Salary Into His Bank Account

Man Paid In Peanuts Concerned About Transfer Of Salary Into His Bank Account

A man who was told, last week, that, from today, he would no longer be paid in money, but that he would, instead, receive remuneration in peanuts, has said he is concerned over potential difficulties with the safe transfer of his salary into his bank…

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Funny story: Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut

Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut

A man who, only weeks ago, was told that he would be receiving his full salary again after an earlier pay cut, has been told to brace himself once more, as a 50% reduction in remuneration will come into force from Monday. Five days before Christma…

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Funny story: Man To Be Paid In Peanuts

Man To Be Paid In Peanuts

A man who gave up a perfectly good job in Thailand to go to live and work in Cambodia five years ago, and subsequently found out that salaries in the latter country were about half what they were in the former, recieved even worse news this week, whe…

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Funny story: Man Has Started To Wear Face Mask In Bed

Man Has Started To Wear Face Mask In Bed

A man who can, ordinarily, be described as 'a bit of a worrier', has recently begun to fret out of all proportion as far as taking precautions over the spread of the Coronavirus are concerned, and has gone to the extraordinary lengths of wearing a fa…

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Funny story: Man Dies After Refusing Coronavirus Vaccine

Man Dies After Refusing Coronavirus Vaccine

There was a major controversy brewing this evening over the potential dangers of refusing a Coronavirus vaccination, after it was announced that a man from Essex who had been offered - and had stubbornly refused - a COVID-19 shot, had subsequently di…

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Funny story: Taliban Ready To Call It A Day

Taliban Ready To Call It A Day

After almost 27 years of bitter struggle against opposing forces in Afghanistan, leaders of the Taliban have said they are ready to call it a day, throw in the towel, and return to their former lives as shepherds, or whatever. The Taliban - someti…

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Funny story: Old Woman Takes Over At Sheffield United

Old Woman Takes Over At Sheffield United

Their stay in the Premier League may be all but over, and a return to the slog of the Championship looking ever more likely, but Sheffield United are already planning for the future, and this afternoon unveiled the successor to Chris Wilder, sacked a…

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Funny story: NASA Photo Shows Planets Are Moving Closer Together At Alarming Rate

NASA Photo Shows Planets Are Moving Closer Together At Alarming Rate

Scientists at NASA are becoming increasingly concerned at what they say is "a major change in the set-up of the Solar System", after photographic images were transmitted back to Earth from a little-known satellite which is something to do with gettin…

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Funny story: Governments Admit They've Been Telling Lies About Things

Governments Admit They've Been Telling Lies About Things

There was trouble brewing on a massive scale this morning, when a series of news conferences around the globe admitted that various governments had been somewhat economical with the truth, and that most of everything they've ever told you has been a…

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Funny story: Man Now Worried That Alexa Knows His Spoof Password

Man Now Worried That Alexa Knows His Spoof Password

A man who has recently been experiencing problems with his Alexa is now concerned that the virtual assistant might have been spying on him behind his back, and may now be able to gain access to one of his private online accounts. Myke Woodson, 57,…

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Funny story: Mr. Men Man Creates New 'Extreme' Characters

Mr. Men Man Creates New 'Extreme' Characters

A man who spent many of his childhood years watching the children's animated TV series the 'Mr. Men' has said he is pleased to learn of a whole new swathe of characters for a major re-vamping of the show, to begin in the summer. Mr. Men creator, R…

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Funny story: No Funerals In Locale For Nine Days In A Row Now

No Funerals In Locale For Nine Days In A Row Now

Local historians were in a state of excited excitement and expectant expectation this morning, after it became clear that, in an unprecedented display of deathlessness, nobody has died in Tapon commune for nine days. The last funeral anyone can re…

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