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Funny story: Careless "Tweet" Betrays Bin Laden Position

Careless "Tweet" Betrays Bin Laden Position

US Special Forces were closing in on Osama Bin Laden last night, after intercepting an injudicious message from the terror chief on social networking website Twitter. "OBL2001 is... relaxing at his favourite cave in good old Tora Bora. You know -...

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Funny story: Hillary "Glad She Lost" as New Female President Struggles on "24"

Hillary "Glad She Lost" as New Female President Struggles on "24"

Several episodes in to the new series of 24, and former First Lady Hillary Clinton has expressed relief that she narrowly avoided becoming the first female President of the United States. Aides revealed Mrs Clinton has been "closely following" eve...

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Funny story: World Leaders Squabbling Over Who Gets to Show Obama the Ropes

World Leaders Squabbling Over Who Gets to Show Obama the Ropes

With Barack Obama's inauguration as President of the United States just days away, several prominent heads of state are competing for the privilege of "buddying-up" and taking him under their wing as he makes his first tentative steps onto the tricky...

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Funny story: Communal Leaving Card Message Undergoes Third Rewrite

Communal Leaving Card Message Undergoes Third Rewrite

Panic and writers' block engulfed Systems Analyst Tony Walton yesterday, as he was handed a communal leaving card for Susan Chambers - a longtime colleague at computer software firm Infobiztec. "Everyone else had written all these heartfelt or ef...

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Funny story: Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

Father Christmas Killed in Tragic Sleigh Accident, Say Cash-Strapped Parents

St Nicholas, the jovial and benevolent bearer of Christmas gifts died when his custom-made sleigh collided with a Jumbo Jet just outside the North Pole, newly-impoverished parents reported to their children yesterday. The man more commonly known a...

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Funny story: Honorary Knighthood for Bruno Tonioli Betrays Queen's Secret Addiction to "Strictly Come Dancing"

Honorary Knighthood for Bruno Tonioli Betrays Queen's Secret Addiction to "Strictly Come Dancing"

The British Honours system was mired in scandal last night when it emerged the Queen bases her recommendation for titles on frivolous credentials and "personal whimsy". A leaked memo from Buckingham Palace revealed the shortlist for the 2009 New Y...

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Funny story: New Guy Ritchie Movie Rewritten to Include More Pop Star Death Scenes

New Guy Ritchie Movie Rewritten to Include More Pop Star Death Scenes

Guy Ritchie has delayed post-production on his latest movie and ordered a series of last-minute rewrites to the as-yet-untitled period drama. Industry insiders had previously praised Ritchie for his "change of direction", when it was announced tha...

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Funny story: Robert Redford Inherits "Hollywood Legend" Status, Lifetime Supply of Salad Cream

Robert Redford Inherits "Hollywood Legend" Status, Lifetime Supply of Salad Cream

A hushed and respectful crowd gathered outside a Connecticut courthouse yesterday as movie icon Paul Newman's last will and testament was revealed. The majority of his fortune was split evenly between family members and charitable organisations, b...

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Funny story: After Weekend of Madness, British Public Resumes Apathy Towards Golf

After Weekend of Madness, British Public Resumes Apathy Towards Golf

An entire nation woke groggily yesterday with the nagging guilty feeling that traditionally accompanies ill-judged over-indulgence. After sternly promising to be sensible, Great Britain lost it from around 5pm on Friday and proceeded to degenerat...

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Funny story: Britain Suffers Whingiest August Since Records Began

Britain Suffers Whingiest August Since Records Began

As relentless wind and rain continues to sweep through the country, ruining a second consecutive summer, incidences of pissing and moaning are at an unprecedented high. Over 50 millimetres of bile and spittle fell in the West Country in less than...

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Funny story: Report - 57% of Aristo Kids Now Carry Muskets

Report - 57% of Aristo Kids Now Carry Muskets

As knife crime grips the nation's inner cities, and gangs run amok on council estates across the country, a shocking new report has revealed how teen violence is now spreading to other social demographics. Square-jawed, ruddy-faced groups of youth...

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Funny story: Recently Qualified First-Aider Longing for Workplace Emergency

Recently Qualified First-Aider Longing for Workplace Emergency

A week after completing a three day government-approved training course in Corporate First Aid and Health and Safety, Jeff Birks, a Junior Credit Controller for InfoTech Systems Inc., expressed frustration that he had yet to be called into action.

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Funny story: "Brian Blessed" Tops Official New Insanity Classification

"Brian Blessed" Tops Official New Insanity Classification

A report in respected psychiatric journal Nutters has revealed an important new benchmark in measuring mental instability.

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Funny story: New Panel Show Planned for Saturday Nights

New Panel Show Planned for Saturday Nights

ITV1 have announced plans for a brand new game-show that is set to revolutionise the light entertainment industry.

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Funny story: "MC Jazzy Jeff" - Sky Sports' Stelling Moves into the Weddings Game

"MC Jazzy Jeff" - Sky Sports' Stelling Moves into the Weddings Game

The days of stuffy toastmasters stiltedly clinking champagne glasses and barking dry, emotionless orders to your nearest and dearest may soon be over, with the news that Sky Sports are rolling out their successful football results service format onto...

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Funny story: Gok Wan Outed as Heterosexual

Gok Wan Outed as Heterosexual

Scandal hit Channel 4 last night as camp presenter and self-professed "Makeover Queen" Gok Wan was sensationally revealed to be as straight as a die. Wan, the presumed-to-be-gay host of hit show How to Look Good Naked, admitted at a press conferen...

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Funny story: Scorsese: "Westlife are Next"

Scorsese: "Westlife are Next"

Following the success of his recent Rolling Stones Rockumentary, Shine a Light, veteran director Martin Scorsese has decided to stick with the music theme for his next epic.

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