Spoof stories written by Ed E. Druckman

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Happy 2013? I Prefer Not To.

It seems the Mayans were wrong. The world will keep traveling around the sun, or the sun around the world if you're a Fundamentalist. But this most recent apocalypse averted got me to ruminating, as is my want, about New Year's Eve and all the weight that is arbitrarily attached to this one night's passage of time. It took me back to last New Year's Eve and a question asked me, "What's your resolu...

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The Election of November and High Holidays of September: What Would John Adams Do?

Funny story: The Election of November and High Holidays of September: What Would John Adams Do?

This September a woman asked me, "Yom Kippur, that's the holiday you buy the tickets for?" I found this somewhat disturbing since it was my Aunt Sadie. 95, I chalked it up old age. Ageist humor aside, I'll not reveal the identity of the woman who actually asked it because she is a shiksa in good standing with me. But it got me to thinking. It got me to thinking why it bothered me because I wasn...

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Jihad Jane Claims On Terrorism: "It was performance art."

(Philadelphia-PA) Colleen Renee LaRose, the "Jihad Jade" of YouTube, has dropped a bomb and not of the terrorist variety. As she sits in her federal prison cell awaiting trail for recruiting Muslim extremists, LaRose claims it was "all performance a...

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Lady Nips Only in Airplane Bathroom

Funny story: Lady Nips Only in Airplane Bathroom

(Tokyo-Japan) All Nippon Airways, ANA, will introduce women-only lavatories on its international routes starting next week. In a statement released by the airline, the gender based lavatories were not a result of "any specific complaints. It was...

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Health Care Reform on Least

(Washington, D.C.) The televised live bipartisan debate between President Obama and members of Congress was generally dubbed a "publicity stunt" by the media as well as political scholars, who are convinced that neither side was swayed. "Only the...

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Paterson not looking for reelection; will remain governor

(Albany-NY) Embattled New York Governor David Paterson is expected to announce that he won't seek reelection, but will remain as governor for the rest of the year. This is due to a "New York Times" story reporting that the governor may have inter...

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Sarah Palin Goes NRA

Funny story: Sarah Palin Goes NRA

(Charlotte-NC) Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at the National Rifle Association's annual meeting in Charlotte, North Carolina this May. Palin, in addition to being a former Governor of Alaska and nemesis to "The Family Guy", is a huntere...

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Tiger Woods Moves Press Conference To Playboy Mansion

(Hollywood-CA) Tiger Woods' agent, Mark Steinberg, confirmed today that Tiger Woods' press conference, to be held Friday, would be at the Playboy Mansion. This latest move has both gossip columnists and sports writers scratching their collective head...

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Devalued car resale price could hit owners, destabilize economy

Funny story: Devalued car resale price could hit owners, destabilize economy

Beleaguered auto manufacturer Toyota may be in store for consumer lawsuits based on loss of value after Kelley Blue Book, a leading used-car value service, lowered its estimated resale prices for the recalled models by 2.5% to 3.5%. The resulting...

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George Bush Is Back?

Funny story: George Bush Is Back?

A billboard with a picture of a smiling George W. Bush paired with a caption "Miss Me Yet?" is drawing attention to the small town. The ad was taken out by a group of small business owners who prefer to remain anonymous. The message they beli...

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Sarah Palin Drinks the Tea

Funny story: Sarah Palin Drinks the Tea

Former Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin was the keynote speaker at the first official Tea Party convention. The convention is an attempt to organize the grass roots Tea Party movement into a force able to endorse and elect polit...

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Obama to hold bipartisan meeting on health care reform

Funny story: Obama to hold bipartisan meeting on health care reform

On February 25th, President Obama will hold a bipartisan meeting on health care reform broadcast live, according to a senior administration official. It is the Obama administration's latest attempt to pass health care reform legislation, which is...

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Mel Gibson Hired as Toyota Spokesman

It was announced today that "Edge of Darkness" star Mel Gibson would be the new spokesman for Toyota, which has recently been plagued with the minor defect of cars not stopping when the driver wants. The announcement came on the heels of a press c...

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Biden To Obama: "Yes We Can?"

Funny story: Biden To Obama: "Yes We Can?"

(Washington-DC) After President Obama's State of The Union speech, Vice President Joe Biden exhibited what some believe is not his best asset to the administration, speaking. At the opening of a cow manure methane conversion facility in Blunt, T...

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Governator position up for grabs; what's the 'buy it now' price?

Funny story: Governator position up for grabs; what's the 'buy it now' price?

(Sacramento-CA) Former Ebay CEO Meg Whitman leads in the race for the Republican primary slot to run for California governor, a recent poll showed. Whitman used the wealth she amassed during her time as Ebay's CEO to finance her bid to succeed Go...

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John Edwards Goes Haiti

(Port-au-Prince-Haiti) Former Presidential candidate and husband of the year John Edwards went to the earthquake shattered country of Haiti with a group of 25 people, including doctors, to "help in whatever we can", which was the statement released b...

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Tiger Woods Sex Addict

Funny story: Tiger Woods Sex Addict

(Hattiesburg-MS) The John Edwards of the PGA tour, Tiger Woods, has reportedly entered the Pine Grove Behavioral Health And Addiction Clinic, which specializes in sexual addiction. Woods is reported to have had as many as 18 mistresses. According...

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Health care reform DOA

(Washington, D.C.) The upset election of Republican Scott Brown to fill the Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy has left Senate Democrats and the Obama White House scrambling to rescue health care reform. White House Spokesmen Robert "Bob" Gibbs...

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