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Spoof stories written by Gail Farrelly

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Funny story: Wife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song

Wife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song

Truth be told -- it wasn't just ANY song the hubby was crooning. It was that old 1909 song, "My Wife's Gone to the Country (Hurrah! Hurrah!)." Music by Ted Snyder, with lyrics by Irving Berlin and George Whiting. Here's an excerpt: My wif...

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Funny story: No Parking: A Story of Revenge

No Parking: A Story of Revenge

They say New Year’s Eve in New York is special. Well, this one was, that’s for sure. At least for me. I stare down at the stained blue rug. The corpse has been wheeled out to the mortuary van, but the chalk outline of the literary critic’s tortured body remains as a creepy reminder for me and the other ten members of my writing club. The clock is striking twelve; the New Year has begun. But s...

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Funny story: Santa's In Trouble; Caught Singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Santa's In Trouble; Caught Singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

It's cold INSIDE, too, in many quarters for poor Santa, since some MeToo-ers have declared the song suggestive and deserving of being banned from the airwaves. Many of those who sing it are being relegated to the doghouse. But Santa is defiant, st...

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Funny story: Mickey Mouse Is 90 Years Old!

Mickey Mouse Is 90 Years Old!

And there's a big party in the works. All the main Disney characters will be there, including Goofy and Pluto. Lawrence Welk, Mickey's favorite bandleader, has gotten a one-evening earthpass to return from the dead and provide his champagne mu...

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Funny story: Wanna Develop a 'New' Hit TV Show?

Wanna Develop a 'New' Hit TV Show?

Here's what you gotta do: 1. Forget about looking at the future or the present. People are interested in THE PAST these days. Look backward not forward and you'll do fine. 2. Remember: Same old, same old. Forget about innovation or being unique. Think reboot and you're sure to succeed. And stay away from Twitter and Facebook. You may say something stupid that will get you fired before yo...

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Funny story: Woman Claims Groping by Cabinet Designee as Newborn in NY Nursery

Woman Claims Groping by Cabinet Designee as Newborn in NY Nursery

It may have happened over 50 years ago, but a NY woman claims she remembers it as if it were yesterday. Now she's appalled that her groper is being considered for a top Cabinet post in the current administration. But that's only if he survives a Cong...

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Funny story: Double Trouble

Double Trouble

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. That was several years ago. They haven’t been seen since. Okay, okay, strictly speaking, the twins didn’t go to “fetch a pail of water.” It didn’t happen exactly like the nursery rhyme. But they DID go up a hill and were never seen coming down. That’s a definite. And water played a big, big part in the story of the two missing seventh...

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Funny story: The Greatest Escape: A Magician's Tale

The Greatest Escape: A Magician's Tale

I’m baaaaaaaaack! Not much to brag about though. Here I am, lying on the train tracks in a dark, dreary NYC subway tunnel under Grand Central Station. Just been hit by a speeding train, my body is bloody and battered. Ouch! I’m a magician, so I’ll just have to work some magic to pull myself together and get out of here. I’ve been dead since 1926, I died of peritonitis, but I’m not gonna let...

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Funny story: Barbie Loves Her New Incarnation

Barbie Loves Her New Incarnation

Meet Robotics Engineer Barbie, launched just last month. Gone are the high heels and elaborate outfits. Now Barbie wears sneakers and really loves them. "I'm almost 60 years old and into comfort," she has said, continuing, "jeans, a T shirt, and a...

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Funny story: The Meddlesome Mensch: A Tech Tale

The Meddlesome Mensch: A Tech Tale

My name is Marty, and I have a small family. That’s the way I like it. There’s just me and my twenty-something owner. Yep, I DID say owner. You see, I’m an electronic reader, purchased by my owner (her name is Noreen) and brought home two years ago last week. If you’re one of those folks who think that electronic readers are just dumb machines, think again. Well, maybe some of them are du...

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Funny story: A #MeToo Story by a Mermaid

A #MeToo Story by a Mermaid

Being the chair of the local Mermaid Public Relations Committee isn't all it's cracked up to be. Like today, for example, I'd like to be out swimming around in the ocean with the other mermaids. Instead I'm tasked with reading the entries of my fellow mermaids to a short story contest by a local magazine and choosing the ones that will proceed to the next round of the competition. The magazine edi...

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Funny story: The Saga of Mark Zuckerberg and the Booster Cushion

The Saga of Mark Zuckerberg and the Booster Cushion

During his Congressional testimony, Zuckerberg was perched on a booster cushion to, well, give him a boost. In the long hours of testimony he became very attached to the booster cushion, so much so that when his testimony was over, he refused to s...

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Funny story: Shocker: Hollywood Couple Marries BEFORE Having Kids

Shocker: Hollywood Couple Marries BEFORE Having Kids

UN-BEE-LIEV-ABLE! One perplexed teen proclaimed. "I don't understand this at all," he continued. "Uh, why get married FIRST? That's the question," he said. I mean, if you want kids, shouldn't you have your girlfriend pop out one or two before you...

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Funny story: Drone Doesn't Just DELIVER the Donuts, He EATS Them!

Drone Doesn't Just DELIVER the Donuts, He EATS Them!

That's a no-no, his employer sternly told him. "Bad, bad drone." The drone had an interesting defense. "But...but...I DID deliver them, pretty much anyway," he argued. Pausing for a breath, he continued, "OK, OK, I was a little late, I admit it. A...

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Funny story: Minnie Mouse Pouts as She Gets Star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

Minnie Mouse Pouts as She Gets Star on Hollywood Walk of Fame

Nice to get the star, Minnie admits, although she sighs and points out that boyfriend Mickey Mouse got HIS star 40 years ago. "Typical, isn't it?" she says, continuing, "in this business, and in the world in general, males are first to get just abou...

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Funny story: Drones Find a New Career Opportunity

Drones Find a New Career Opportunity

It happened when drones (y'know, those flying thingies of all shapes and sizes) read about one of their own that was able to rescue two teenagers from a rough surf in Australia. The drone provided a rescue for the swimmers in trouble by quickly throw...

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Funny story: Drones Don't Get Invited to City's New Year's Eve Bash

Drones Don't Get Invited to City's New Year's Eve Bash

Outrage was in evidence among drones (y'know, those flying thingies that come in all sizes and shapes) when they learned they were not invited to the massive party thrown by the city of White Plains, north of New York City. More specifically, the d...

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