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Orient Express? That'll Do Nicely.....

Funny story: Orient Express? That'll Do Nicely.....

Great North Eastern Railways PLC have unveiled the latest addition to their services - 'The Scunthorpe To Vladivostok Orient Express'.

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Nostradamus - He's At It Again!

Funny story: Nostradamus - He's At It Again!

The seer and visionary Nostradamus - who came back to life half an hour ago - has proclaimed that vague, obscure and nebulous things will occur sometime in the future.

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Bush Back On Booze

Funny story: Bush Back On Booze

US President George Bush has started drinking heavily again. According to sources close to the White House, Mr Bush is knocking back up to three bottles of cheap sherry a day and has been seen in public parks in Washington, shouting at pigeons.

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Plague Of Alien Fruit Bats Heading For Earth

Funny story: Plague Of Alien Fruit Bats Heading For Earth

Astronomers have sighted a huge swarm of alien fruit bats heading for Earth. The bats, three miles long and weighing up to five tonnes, were first spotted only last night by boffins using telescopes made from high-energy plasma and sellotape at the J...

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'BOLAM' Supercomputer Forges Ahead

Funny story: 'BOLAM' Supercomputer Forges Ahead

The latest supercomputer from Microsoft - 'BOLAM' - has astonished scientists by calculating at the speed of light AND fabricating a useful toolbox from scraps of old tin. BOLAM - the acronym stands for Bent Old Lumbago And Mucus - is the fir...

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The Mummy Actually DOES Return

Funny story: The Mummy Actually DOES Return

The Mummy - Jim Hotep of Egypt - has returned. After a curse was put on Hotep which condemned him to wander around buildings, wear bandages and strangle people for three thousand years, he has decided to give it all up for a job as a librarian.

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Scientists To Invent Some New Things

Funny story: Scientists To Invent Some New Things

A team of scientists - including a selection of boffins and eggheads - are to invent some totally new things by the year 8005. Amongst the things to be invented are a car which can run on used beard-clippings, a telescope able to see into the human m...

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Buddy Holly To Reform

Funny story: Buddy Holly To Reform

Legendary rocker Buddy Holly is to reform thanks to recent medical developments. Holly, who was killed in an air crash in 1959, has been transferred to 'Dr Frank's Stitch-Em-Up-Quick' hospital in New York where he will be pieced together...

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Sooty Joins Religious Sect

Funny story: Sooty Joins Religious Sect

The lovable glove puppet Sooty, from the 'Sooty And Sweep' show has joined the nudist religious sect 'The Fingers Of God'.

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Superdog Rusty To Make Comeback

Funny story: Superdog Rusty To Make Comeback

Canine singing sensation 'Rockin' Rusty' - the dog who took the world of music by storm following his recent successful appearance at the Knebworth Festival - has signed a ten million dollar contact with Virgin. His first single, 'Ain...

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Rock Superstar Zodiac Dies

Funny story: Rock Superstar Zodiac Dies

The rock singer and accordionist Xerxes P Zodiac, of the 1970s supergroup 'Xerxes And The Xylophones', has died aged 103 after a long illness and a short haircut.

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Scientists Develop Unlimited Energy

Funny story: Scientists Develop Unlimited Energy

Scientists in Czechoslovakia have found a way to solve the world energy problem - the "Heetch-Rense Intensifier". Working on the same principles as a household cigar, the Intensifier converts energy from everyday objects - such as a cenotap...

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Stalin Evicted From Big Brother House

Funny story: Stalin Evicted From Big Brother House

The late Soviet leader Joseph Stalin has been evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother house after the controversy caused by his comments about fellow housemate Leon Trotsky. Before the vote from the public, Stalin tearfully confessed to Big Brother th...

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Germany attacks Poland again

Funny story: Germany attacks Poland again

At dawn this morning the German army crossed the Polish border again, inviting accusations of warmongering not heard since World War Two.

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Government Unveils 'Beat Generation' Green Proposals

Funny story: Government Unveils 'Beat Generation' Green Proposals

The government has put radical new "hep-cat" proposals forward in an effort to urge more people to "go green". After meeting building industry leaders, Minister for Housing and MFI Flat-pack Shelves Yvette Cooper said that she pla...

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New Year Honours List - Surprise Inclusions, Shock Omissions

Funny story: New Year Honours List - Surprise Inclusions, Shock Omissions

There are some surprise recipients among the latest New Year Honours announced today.

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'Gasser Eels' Found On Mars

Funny story: 'Gasser Eels' Found On Mars

Astronomers at the 'Telescope Jim' Observatory in Tokyo have found evidence of life on Mars. Dr. Hong Plutonium, Head of Looking at the observatory, said that although the evidence was yet to be interpreted in a properly scientific manner, i...

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Cameron To Be New 'Dr. Who'

Funny story: Cameron To Be New 'Dr. Who'

Tory Party Leader Prof. David 'Brylcreem' Cameron is set to become the new 'Dr. Who', the time-travelling BBC Atom-Boffin, it was revealed tomorrow. In a surprise announcement from Conservative Party Central Office, a spokesperson fro...

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