Spoof stories written by Bertram Chapley

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Brian Irongrip Predicts Winner

Funny story: Brian Irongrip Predicts Winner

Brian Irongrip (34) expert predictor for all things Scunthorpe United has ended his near perfect week by making a prediction that Labour will have a new leader by 4 PM BST today. Brian, predicts that a Labour Party member will become leader today an...

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Little and Large Sold at Auction

Funny story: Little and Large Sold at Auction

BOLTON, LANCS -Top comic duo, Little and Large, have been sold at an auction in Skelmersdale. It is reported that initially the reserve on lot 34 was not met but the auctioneer played a blinder and disposed of the pair separately as lot 34 and lot 34...

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New Number Found by Geeks

LOS ANGELES - CALIFORNIA - Scientists who look similar to Albert Einstein have discovered a new number. It is the first number to be discovered since 1788 when Boris Two located the number which was subsequently named after him.

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Bush Gifts Hawaii to Blair - Isle of Man Worried

Funny story: Bush Gifts Hawaii to Blair - Isle of Man Worried

BRITISH PRIME MINISTER - Tony Blair has been given Hawaii as a gift by George Bush for his continuing support for the war in Iraq and international terrorism.

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Scotland Adrift - Full Emergency

Funny story: Scotland Adrift - Full Emergency

EDINBURGH - Emergency services have been put on full alert as news is breaking that Scotland has broken away from it's moorings and is adrift somewhere in the North Sea.

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Wham Bang - No Thank You Mam

Funny story: Wham Bang - No Thank You Mam

ATOMIC BOMBS NEVER EXISTED - under the 50 year disclosure laws that prevail in the US it has been declared that nuclear weapons never existed and were an elaborate hoax. The hoax was developed initially to fox the Japs in the latter part of th...

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Official News - Fox News Makes the News

BREAKING NEWS - NEWS BREAKING - Due to the lack of news in the world and the drab boring snippets that are being aired by the planets media channels Fox News have taken matters into their own hands and are trying to improve the quality of reports.

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Bob Off for Another Gong

Funny story: Bob Off for Another Gong

Charity and music Guru Bob Gelfof has lost his marbles again and announced that there is to be yet another charity shindig in the summer, this time for the benefit of his latest cause.

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Tony and Gordon - It's Over - Official

DOWNING STREET, LONDON - It has today been revealed that the marriage of Tony and Gordon Brown is over and the two are to divorce. Friends of the couple have confirmed that the irreconcilable differences has caused the breakdown. Gordon's frie...

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Smoke Signals - Sitting Bull Anounces Spelling Mistake

WASHINGTON DC - At last the white smoke signal has been seen pouring out of the Capitol Building's chimney. This is the long awaited sign that a new President has been chosen and Donald Ratzenburger will be paraded to a waiting world. A gather...

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Conservative Party - Only Two Attend

Funny story: Conservative Party - Only Two Attend

CONSERVATIVE PARTY HQ - Tory Party Leader Michael Howard has today released details of a new Identity Card Scheme which is being trialled in the lead up to the General Election. He hopes that the scheme proves to be a success as it is not to b...

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Move Over Rover - Over Here

BIRMINGHAM , UK - In a last minute deal administrators of the failing car giant Rover have brokered a deal that will mean car production will continue in the Black Country. Price Cooper Waterhouse have announced that a joint venture between Jo...

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Pope Selection - Games Up

Funny story: Pope Selection - Games Up

VATICAN CITY, New York - The election of a new Pontiff has been thrown into disarray as no one can find the rules of Paper Stone Scissors, the method used to determine who is to head the Roman Catholic Church until the next death. As of now he...

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Osama The Caveman Strikes It Rich

TORA BORA - PAKISTAN - Saudi born engineer and wanted terrorist Osama Bin Hidin has announced to the free world he has struck oil whilst digging new caves in the mountains around Tora Bora. Initial testing has determined that 200,000 barrels a...

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Armed Forces Privatised - Wellington Gets the Boot

ROYAL AIR FORCE PRIVATISATION PLANS - Should New Labour win the forthcoming General Election they plan on privatising the RAF and the possible sub-contracting the Army to Group 4 has been discussed . This would leave only the Royal Navy in sta...

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Jacko Free - World Rejoices

Funny story: Jacko Free - World Rejoices

SANTA MARIA, BASRA - Saddam Jacksein has won his appeal against his conviction and is to be set free from the courts later today it has been revealed.

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Pilots Flying High With New Pay Deal

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - The long running pay dispute by airline pilots has been resolved and a trial period by Swiss airline Tobler Air has proved successful for the pilots but it is not proving a hit with the passengers.

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Wembley Stadium a Gonner

Funny story: Wembley Stadium a Gonner

LONDON - Shock news has been released this afternoon that the yet to be completed New Wembley Stadium is to be demolished to make way for an Ikea Furniture Store.

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