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Funny story: Putin vows to protect vodka drinkers around the world

Putin vows to protect vodka drinkers around the world

Russian President Vladimir Putin announced his intention Monday "to punish every country on earth which makes it difficult to drink Russian vodka" following news that retailers around the world had pulled the spirits from their shelves as part of an…

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Funny story: CDC updates COVID-19 guidelines for glory holes

CDC updates COVID-19 guidelines for glory holes

The United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced today new COVID-19 guidelines for managers, employees and patrons of glory holes. The new measures permit fully-vaccinated patrons to go maskless at a glory hole, and also spe…

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Funny story: Biden to waive patents for vaccines in exchange for India's best tandoori chicken recipe

Biden to waive patents for vaccines in exchange for India's best tandoori chicken recipe

US President Joe Biden announced today his administration was willing to change its stance on assisting India in its catastrophic battle with COVID-19. Biden is willing to send the proprietary scientific details about the production of the Pfizer…

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Funny story: Russia to trial latest coronavirus vaccine on Navalny supporters

Russia to trial latest coronavirus vaccine on Navalny supporters

Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday announced doctors across the country would begin phase one trials of an experimental version of the Sputnik coronavirus vaccine on thousands of Alexei Navalny supporters. "We are confident the new vacci…

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Funny story: World news outlets face critical shortage of COVID vaccine production footage

World news outlets face critical shortage of COVID vaccine production footage

Both CNN and BBC TV announced today their ability to cover the rollout of COVID-19 vaccines around the world is at risk due to a severe shortage of stock video footage of the vaccine manufacturing process. Anchor Chris Cuomo said on his Thursday e…

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Funny story: Nicola Jokić becomes first player to score sequence of 23-35-27-31-29-20- 21-35-47-13-50-35- 12-22-23-43-33-16- 15-41-24-19-39-37- 20-28-26-32-12-34- 29-28-20-37-16-21- 14-17-27-25-26-17- 27-17-29-47-25-19- 24-24-32-19-30-32 points to start season

Nicola Jokić becomes first player to score sequence of 23-35-27-31-29-20- 21-35-47-13-50-35- 12-22-23-43-33-16- 15-41-24-19-39-37- 20-28-26-32-12-34- 29-28-20-37-16-21- 14-17-27-25-26-17- 27-17-29-47-25-19- 24-24-32-19-30-32 points to start season

Denver Nuggets star center Nicola Jokić became the first player in NBA history to score the sequence of 23-35-27-31-29-20- 21-35-47-13-50-35- 12-22-23-43-33-16- 15-41-24-19-39-37- 20-28-26-32-12-34- 29-28-20-37-16-21- 14-17-27-25-26-17- 27-17-29-47-2…

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Funny story: Ex-Laker J.R. Smith found in Orlando Bubble hideout, thought there was still one more round of playoffs

Ex-Laker J.R. Smith found in Orlando Bubble hideout, thought there was still one more round of playoffs

Former Los Angeles Lakers role player J.R. Smith was found Saturday in a storage facility at the Disney Bubble complex near Orlando, more than 3 months after the conclusion of 2019-2020 season, expecting there to be still one more round of playoffs.

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Funny story: Maybe Biden's penis looks like a baby corn, says GOP strategist planning fake news leak

Maybe Biden's penis looks like a baby corn, says GOP strategist planning fake news leak

A senior GOP strategist reportedly tabled the idea they could damage US President Joe Biden's reputation by leaking a fake news story about how unflattering the President's penis was, especially when compared to former president Donald Trump's, accor…

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Funny story: LeBron James becomes all-time leader in missed foul calls

LeBron James becomes all-time leader in missed foul calls

Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James surpassed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, on Monday night, to establish a new NBA record of 25,115 uncalled fouls against him in his storied 18-year career. James got 26 no-calls in a 115-108 victory over the Cleveland Caval…

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Funny story: Late sweep by US Postal Service credited with Mondale 2020 victory

Late sweep by US Postal Service credited with Mondale 2020 victory

The intensive late push by the US Postal Service to leave "no stone unturned" in their search for mail-in ballots is considered responsible for the surprise Walter Mondale victory in the 2020 American Presidential election. The effort by mail sort…

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Funny story: Toronto Raptors upset at low election turnout by area fans

Toronto Raptors upset at low election turnout by area fans

Members of the Toronto Raptors, Canada's only team in the National Basketball Association, were despairing at the exceptionally low voter turnout by local fans in Tuesday's US Presidential election, despite significant efforts to engage with fans of…

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Funny story: Hand-stitched Etsy bodysuit offers complete protection against coronavirus, people whose views you don't like

Hand-stitched Etsy bodysuit offers complete protection against coronavirus, people whose views you don't like

Popular Etsy vendor Fashion Forward announced, yesterday, a product called The Barrier, "a bold and stylish bodysuit designed to swathe you in a cotton-spandex blend for comfort and complete safety from both the coronavirus and everybody on the other…

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Funny story: Samsonite banks on Trump win, would sell 200,000,000 suitcases as Americans move to Canada

Samsonite banks on Trump win, would sell 200,000,000 suitcases as Americans move to Canada

Popular luggage maker Samsonite announced yesterday, in a conference call with investors, that if US President Donald Trump wins reelection on Tuesday, they expect to sell around 200 million suitcases and handbags on Wednesday, as the majority of Ame…

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Funny story: Canada's Trudeau emerges from months of self-isolation, wonders if this the year to wear blackface Halloween costume again

Canada's Trudeau emerges from months of self-isolation, wonders if this the year to wear blackface Halloween costume again

After months of self-isolation watching Happy Days reruns and Harry Potter movies on Netflix with his kids, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly spent most of Wednesday morning asking friends and staffers whether this Halloween was the o…

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Funny story: Trump reflects on a great 2020: happy with short game, found lots of golf balls

Trump reflects on a great 2020: happy with short game, found lots of golf balls

Reflecting to his wife, Melania, this morning at breakfast, US President Donald Trump considered his touch around the greens and the record number of found golf balls to be his greatest accomplishments in 2020. He reportedly told the First Lady hi…

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Funny story: Recreational athlete misses locker room banter, can't wait to catch up on latest pubic hairstyles

Recreational athlete misses locker room banter, can't wait to catch up on latest pubic hairstyles

Local athlete Jeff Miller announced today he can't wait for the restart of his men's ice hockey league so he can stay up-to-date with the latest news and pubic hair fashions. "While chatting about stocks or listening to the latest raunchy joke, I…

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Funny story: Decision 2020: America faces tough choice between plate, bowl

Decision 2020: America faces tough choice between plate, bowl

We're serving dinner, America. What'll it be: a plate or a bowl? On one shelf, the plate. Flat, like the earth, some say. But who really knows? Good for when the chef drizzles sauce on your food in an arty way, with swirls and puddles. Remember re…

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