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Funny story: Senate Rejects Bill to Bring Indoor Plumbing to Capitol Building

Senate Rejects Bill to Bring Indoor Plumbing to Capitol Building

WASHINGTON – In a close vote, the US Senate has voted 51-49 not to move forward with HR 6006 that would have brought indoor plumbing to the Capitol Building. “The Republican Senate is getting tired of these radical left-wing proposals coming from…

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Funny story: Gwyneth Paltrow Named US Surgeon General

Gwyneth Paltrow Named US Surgeon General

WASHINGTON – Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has long been a proponent of alternative healing, as seen in her online shopping website, goo.com. Now, she will be able to take her message to a much larger audience, as she prepares to be sworn-in as the US Surg…

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Funny story: Atomic Bomb Used in Gender Reveal Party

Atomic Bomb Used in Gender Reveal Party

DALLAS – Taking the gender reveal party to the next level, a Dallas couple has used an atomic bomb to announce their child’s sex to the world. Ted and Heidi Sinkler, first-time parents, released hundreds of curies worth of radiation in their back…

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Funny story: Taco Bell Adds Mexican Food to Menu

Taco Bell Adds Mexican Food to Menu

NEW YORK – In a move that has stunned the fast-food world, Taco Bell have announced that they will begin to offer Mexican food on their menu. A spokesman for YUM Brands, owner of the successful food purveyor, stated, “It is time we recognized the…

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Funny story: Trump Clinks 3 Bottles Together, asks Biden to ‘Come out and play-ee-ay’

Trump Clinks 3 Bottles Together, asks Biden to ‘Come out and play-ee-ay’

WASHINGTON – In a move designed to appeal to the 51 to 56-year-old demographic, Donald Trump appeared in the Rose Garden this morning with three empty beer bottles. He held them by sticking 3 fingers of his right hand into the bottle necks and then s…

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Funny story: Biden – ‘A Vote For Me is a Vote For an Occasional Slow News Day’

Biden – ‘A Vote For Me is a Vote For an Occasional Slow News Day’

DOVER – The Biden campaign has taken a new approach in the presidential campaign. Citing news overload in recent years, he has promised a few days of slow news. “By our records, the last slow news day in the US was March 23, 2015. Between Covid, B…

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Funny story: Why Not Recognizing Clickbait Could Kill You

Why Not Recognizing Clickbait Could Kill You

LOS ANGELES – Celebrity sources say that there is a major brouhaha between Taylor Swift, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Emma Watson and Channing Tatum. The disagreement stems from some tweets started by Chris Hemsworth about the ability to draw people in…

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Funny story: Top Baby Names for 2019

Top Baby Names for 2019

NEW YORK – The US Social Security Administration released the top names selected for newborns in 2019. The list includes some surprising newcomers. For males, the top names were: 1) Oxnard 2) Langston 3) Egbert 4) Aloysius 5) Cletus 6) Ezekie…

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Funny story: Dog Joins Cult

Dog Joins Cult

MONTREAL – After years of searching for her true purpose, local Yellow Lab, Nutmeg, has become a member of the group Apostles of Infinite Love. This Quebec group is widely viewed as a cult. “Nutmeg has always been known to wander from group to gro…

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Funny story: FBI – 62% of Shootings Start with Argument about Steve Zahn

FBI – 62% of Shootings Start with Argument about Steve Zahn

WASHINGTON – After extensive research into the causes of violence in the US, the FBI announced that a large majority of shootings begin with a disagreement over Hollywood character actor, Steve Zahn. Deputy Director Ed Holt remarked: “We were very…

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Funny story: Attorney General Barr says he would be "vehemently opposed" to pardoning Donald Trump

Attorney General Barr says he would be "vehemently opposed" to pardoning Donald Trump

Attorney General Bill Barr says he is "vehemently opposed" to the president pardoning Donald Trump. Barr, in an interview with the Associated Press, said, "He was a traitor and the information he provided our adversaries greatly hurt the safety o…

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Funny story: US Trades Pompeo to China for Diplomat To Be Named Later

US Trades Pompeo to China for Diplomat To Be Named Later

WASHINGTON – After weeks of speculation around contact negotiations and holdout threats, the US government has traded Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to the Chinese government. This took place just before the trading deadline of August 21. It is no…

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Funny story: US Pulls Out of Milky Way

US Pulls Out of Milky Way

WASHINGTON - The Trump administration has formally notified the United Nations that the U.S. is withdrawing from the Milky Way Galaxy. The withdrawal will be complete this time next year, after a one-year waiting period has elapsed. "We will conti…

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Funny story: McFarlane Quits Peter Griffin Role on Family Guy

McFarlane Quits Peter Griffin Role on Family Guy

LOS ANGELES - Actor and comedian Seth McFarlane announced he will no longer voice the character of Peter Griffin, an overweight, white man on Fox’s Family Guy cartoon series. "At the start of the show, I reasoned with myself that it was permissibl…

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Funny story: Jenny McCarthy Develops Covid-19 Vaccine

Jenny McCarthy Develops Covid-19 Vaccine

(Los Angeles) – Actress/talk show host Jenny McCarthy has announced that she has discovered a vaccine for Covid-19. “We have just completed Phase III trials, and the vaccine is effective against Covid-19. I used a weakened version of the common c…

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Funny story: Tyler Perry to Remake Smokey and the Bandit

Tyler Perry to Remake Smokey and the Bandit

(Hollywood) – Writer and actor Tyler Perry has announced that he will remake the 1970s hit movie ‘Smokey and the Bandit’. The original featured Burt Reynolds (Bandit) and Jerry Reed trying to get a truckload of beer from Texas to Georgia. Along th…

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Funny story: Snow Shovel Still on Roof

Snow Shovel Still on Roof

(Waukegan, IL) – Observers have noticed that, even though we are well into August, there is still a snow shovel on the roof of a local home. The owner, Hank Shivers, was not available for comment. Speculation continues among neighbors about first,…

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