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Funny story: Overwhelmed Substance Abuse Counselor Pleas With General Managers And Corporate To Reduce Alcohol And Drug Testing For The Sake Of Production

Overwhelmed Substance Abuse Counselor Pleas With General Managers And Corporate To Reduce Alcohol And Drug Testing For The Sake Of Production

Grand Rapids, Michigan. After deeply reflecting on the fact that Timber Tech's Best Craft Furniture & Decking Boards, Inc. would be on the verge of an irreversible collapse if the company kept routinely testing its employees at various Midwester…

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Funny story: Severely Dehydrated Local Man Suffering Mid-Life Crisis Screams That He Doesn't Want To Waste His Life Mowing Lawns Anymore

Severely Dehydrated Local Man Suffering Mid-Life Crisis Screams That He Doesn't Want To Waste His Life Mowing Lawns Anymore

Platteville, Wisconsin. Profoundly loaded with PTSD and tons of irreversible emotional baggage from his highly traumatizing 56 minutes of mowing a quarter-mile stretch of lawn at Excel Brushworks Inc., 44-year-old part-time janitor Luke Wesley despe…

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Funny story: Politically-Correct Congregation Holds A "Celebration Of Life" For Alcoholic, Abusive, And Gruesome Monster Who Was Probably Just Misunderstood

Politically-Correct Congregation Holds A "Celebration Of Life" For Alcoholic, Abusive, And Gruesome Monster Who Was Probably Just Misunderstood

Wauzeka, Wisconsin. Members at St. Jude & Bethany's Episcopal Church Of Profoundly Serious Enlightenment And Dedication gathered together, last Wednesday, to hold a "celebration of life" for Michael Willard Kain, an abusive, gruesome, hot-temper…

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Funny story: Senior Technical Writer And Corporate Manager At Healthcare Company Makes Official Apology For Self-Destructive Weekend Behavior

Senior Technical Writer And Corporate Manager At Healthcare Company Makes Official Apology For Self-Destructive Weekend Behavior

Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Fully expecting a rational and highly-collaborative online discussion on how to select a proper medium through which to facilitate and transfer comprehension of extraordinarily complex updates in healthcare technology to hospit...

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Funny story: Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive

Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive

Midwest. After spending 10 years carefully managing his time, avoiding high-stress professional careers, and using every single ounce of his creative energy to construct a massive science fiction novel, Minnesota resident and part-time administrativ...

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Funny story: 47-Year-Old "Brick Shit House" Capable Of Flipping Over Pool Tables And Throwing Random People Directly Through Plate Glass Windows Busted Up Over Online Relationship That Didn't Work

47-Year-Old "Brick Shit House" Capable Of Flipping Over Pool Tables And Throwing Random People Directly Through Plate Glass Windows Busted Up Over Online Relationship That Didn't Work

Wisconsin. Unwilling to confess that he had highly-sensitive 'attachment issues' deeply rooted in the past involving separation from his beloved grandmother during the 'much-needed' formative stages of his development, 47-year-old Craig Gerald, of E…

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Funny story: Extremely Pissed-Off Women From Numerous Dating Sites Finally Find Where Man Too Cheap To Use Credit Card Actually Lives Before Pulling Him Out Of His House And Beating The Shit Out Of Him

Extremely Pissed-Off Women From Numerous Dating Sites Finally Find Where Man Too Cheap To Use Credit Card Actually Lives Before Pulling Him Out Of His House And Beating The Shit Out Of Him

Roger Crobb, 39, of Grand Rapids, Michigan, was pulled out of his house last Thursday, and nearly pummeled to death by 23 women who successfully combined their resources and their intellects in order to find out where the cheap, sleazy, non-committal…

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Funny story: LGBTQ Community Leader Highly Upset That Some Average, Middle Class, Heterosexual Males With Penises And Creative Thoughts Are Still Alive

LGBTQ Community Leader Highly Upset That Some Average, Middle Class, Heterosexual Males With Penises And Creative Thoughts Are Still Alive

Sources recently confirmed that the LGBTQ community across the United States was in an uproar last week, over the fact that that some average, middle-class, heterosexual males with penises and creative thoughts are actually still alive. Screaming,…

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Funny story: 7 Essential Life Lessons They Never Teach You In School

7 Essential Life Lessons They Never Teach You In School

I was sitting comfortably in my room one day pretending to grade homework when I was informed that there had been complaints made against me as a social studies teacher. Apparently, some students had claimed that I have a severe alcohol problem and...

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Funny story: Offended College Students Combine With Extremist Supporters Of #ME TOO Movement And WOKE To Protest 20-Minute Segment Of World War 1 Documentary Only Showing White European Men Dying In Trenches

Offended College Students Combine With Extremist Supporters Of #ME TOO Movement And WOKE To Protest 20-Minute Segment Of World War 1 Documentary Only Showing White European Men Dying In Trenches

California. Outraged and ready to fight to the bitter end to make sure that 'equal representation' is manifested in all aspects of society, a group of middle-class students, as well as extremist supporters of the #ME TOO Movement and WOKE, staged a...

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Funny story: Extremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop

Extremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop

Minneapolis, Minnesota. After pouring his heart into a fictional novel over a period of 7 years and 5 months, Roger Wall, 39, removed his SanDisk Ultra Duel USB Flash Drive from his Dell laptop last Sunday, only to notice that everything had been er...

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Funny story: How To Survive A Mid-Life Crisis

How To Survive A Mid-Life Crisis

If you are in your upper 30s or perhaps even your early- to mid-40s, then you have probably already realized that your life is a complete failure, and that nothing is ever going to get better. You feel tired and worn out all the time, your job sucks...

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Funny story: Burned-Out And Profoundly Alcoholic Technical Writer Slowly Ascending Into Heaven After Being Kicked In The Chest By A Horse During Wedding Party Brought Back Down To Earth By God-Damn EMT

Burned-Out And Profoundly Alcoholic Technical Writer Slowly Ascending Into Heaven After Being Kicked In The Chest By A Horse During Wedding Party Brought Back Down To Earth By God-Damn EMT

Iowa. Although he was peacefully ascending into the bright light of euphoric bliss in the uppermost stretches of the Universe, Gerald Wall, 48, was pulled back down to the cold, harsh, and unforgiving world, last Thursday, by Emergency Medical Techn...

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Funny story: Immature And Extremely Sadistic Author Trapped Inside His Own Short Story Still Screaming To Get Out

Immature And Extremely Sadistic Author Trapped Inside His Own Short Story Still Screaming To Get Out

Sources recently confirmed that 43-year-old Jared Wall (an extremely immature and sadistic asshole who thoroughly enjoys writing pointlessly cruel short stories in which helpless characters suffer tremendously before they die) has been missing since...

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Funny story: Ghost Of Angry Technical Writer Who Never Achieved Full Self-Actualization Still Haunting Students At Campus Regardless Of Renovations And Technological Updates

Ghost Of Angry Technical Writer Who Never Achieved Full Self-Actualization Still Haunting Students At Campus Regardless Of Renovations And Technological Updates

Despite the fact that major renovations were made to several dorm buildings as well as the Caitlan Library at Skyland University in Central Iowa, students keep complaining that they hear the voice of a belligerent spirit telling them that they have n...

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Funny story: Chain-Smoking, Drug-Using, Alcoholic Dies In Gruesome And Hideous Fashion After Briefly Taking In Fresh Air And Consuming A Few Vegetables

Chain-Smoking, Drug-Using, Alcoholic Dies In Gruesome And Hideous Fashion After Briefly Taking In Fresh Air And Consuming A Few Vegetables

Madison, Wisconsin. Despite the fact that friends and family sincerely tried to warn him not to do anything stupid or extremely impulsive (such as make a drastic and sudden decision to change his toxic lifestyle or his ultimately self-destructive be...

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Funny story: Man Appreciates Clinically-Depressed Friend Visiting Him In Hospital Just As Long As He Doesn't Step On The Catheter Stuck In His Penis Hole

Man Appreciates Clinically-Depressed Friend Visiting Him In Hospital Just As Long As He Doesn't Step On The Catheter Stuck In His Penis Hole

La Crosse, Wisconsin. After having an open kidney surgery to remove a blood vessel that was wrapped around his ureter, Bradley Smith, 35, confessed he was really happy that a clinically-depressed friend of his came to visit him at Gundersen Lutheran...

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