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United Nations Gives Up

Funny story: United Nations Gives Up

With tears in his eyes, Grand Counsel, Watta Doushpag made a short statement today, which in effect dissolves the international organization founded in 1791 for the mission of putting an end to war, and maintaining world peace forever. "What's the...

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American President Challenges Queen To Winner Take All Wrestling Match

Funny story: American President Challenges Queen To Winner Take All Wrestling Match

Exactly as one might expect from a brain damaged horse's arse, Donald Trump once again made an outrageous and childish move with the goal of drawing further attention to himself by calling a press conference and challenging the Queen to a winner take...

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President Vows To "Put The Lead Back In Paint"

Funny story: President Vows To "Put The Lead Back In Paint"

In what Republican lawmakers touted as certain boost for the economy, the president revealed his plan today, to "Put The Lead Back In Paint." A spokesperson for the Society of Mothers For The Manufacture of Lead responded that this is exactly what...

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President Repeals Child Labor Laws

Funny story: President Repeals Child Labor Laws

In a move that left White House reporters stunned, the president held an impromptu press conference this afternoon, where he pulled a piece of toilet paper off the bottom of his shoe, and on it, wrote up and signed an executive order repealing all ch...

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White House to be Plated In Gold

Funny story: White House to be Plated In Gold

The president signed an executive order today stating that: "The entire structure of the White House, including floors, walls, and ceilings, shall be 100% covered in a 1' thick coating of pure 24 carat gold. Furthermore all chairs, tables, furnit...

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Trump Announces Plan To Deport Native Americans

Funny story: Trump Announces Plan To Deport Native Americans

President Trump had a serious case of the sniffles this morning as he spoke to reporters this morning in an impromptu press conference. The president was still in his pajamas, and had apparently just had cereal, because he appeared to have a milk...

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Kim Jong-un asks Angela Merkel Out on a Date

Funny story: Kim Jong-un asks Angela Merkel Out on a Date

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un was reportedly seen standing under the German Prime Minister's bedroom window this morning playing a ukulele and singing the popular hit "Xs and Os." The fat tyrant is reported feeling very randy after swallowing...

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President Trump Announces Plan To "Clone Hitler"?

President Donald Trump woke up groggy after a troubled sleep and muttered that he had a new super duper plan for building the biggest bestest superwall ever. The 72 year old serial sexual harasser went on to elaborate that stem cells from Hitler'...

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Pentagon Admits Spending 79 Trillion Dollars On Hookers And Blow

Funny story: Pentagon Admits Spending 79 Trillion Dollars On Hookers And Blow

In honor of Earth Day, Pentagon officials decided to tell the American people the truth for once. In a special report that was temporarily declassified for only 24 hours, the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces admitted that most of money supp...

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Donald Trump Admits Being A Total Scumbag

In what stunned reporters at a White House press conference this afternoon, President of The United States, Donald J. Trump, went on a 15 minute rant about a few things he wanted to get off his chest. The president was quoted as saying, "Right now...

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White House To Arm Every School Child In America With Shoulder Fired Missile Launcher

In response to the latest FBI Investigation into Russian collusion, the White House announced today that it was signing an executive order to take effect immediately. The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun, is with a bigger good guy with two...

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President Trump Struck By Lightning While Playing Golf

President Trump is in critical condition at Bethesda Medical Hospital after being struck by lightning at 3:14pm at his Mara Lago Golf Course in Palms Springs Florida today. He was on the 9th hole when a light drizzling rain began to fall as the le...

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White House Doctors Find Putin's Glove Inside President Trump's Anal Cavity

What started out as a routine physical,turned into quite a spectacle Monday morning when Bethesda Maryland urologist Dr.Tuchifilli was performing the annual colonoscopy as part of a standard cancer screening for the 70 year old president. "At firs...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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