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Medical Association Declares Eggs are Bad, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

The Association of Super Intelligent Doctors and Scientists has revealed the findings of a 3 billion-dollar, 20-year study. The research concluded that eating eggs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays is bad for the health. The chief of cardiolog...

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Trump Bites The Head Off Baby And No One Cares

Funny story: Trump Bites The Head Off Baby And No One Cares

During a press conference this morning, a general feeling of apathy overcame the press corp. One correspondent remarked, "We're in shock. We just can't take any more drama." The president was noticeably irritated by the sight of several report...

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President Trump To Transition To A Woman

Funny story: President Trump To Transition To A Woman

Donald J. Trump, leader of the free world, announced today that he would undergo surgery to remove his naughty bits and replace them with kinder gentler naughty bits, those of a broad! The president was quoted as saying, "This whole Me Too movemen...

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Aliens Give Congress Tips on How To Conduct Russian Probe

Funny story: Aliens Give Congress Tips on How To Conduct Russian Probe

The Extra Terrestrials, who have been observing the goings on in Washington with great interest, couldn't hold their tongues any longer. The mother ship landed on the capitol lawn, and a group of beings with large bald grey heads spoke through tel...

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Alien Ship Mates With Eiffel Tower

Funny story: Alien Ship Mates With Eiffel Tower

Somehow the grey critters got the idea into their bulbous heads that the giant metal -ointed phallus located in the heart of Paris France was actually the planet Earth's penis. In what is apparently the mating behavior of those advanced little bas...

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Trump Signs Executive Order Making Himself Dictator For Life

Funny story: Trump Signs Executive Order Making Himself Dictator For Life

In a move that has been widely praised by Republican leaders, Donald "The Antichrist" Trump has signed an executive piece of legislation declaring himself to be a full-blown Adolf Hitler-style dictator. The document authorizes him to print all the...

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Trump Admits Mailing Pizzas With Pineapple To Robert DeNiro and Hillary

Funny story: Trump Admits Mailing Pizzas With Pineapple To Robert DeNiro and Hillary

In a stunning revelation, the president confessed today to mailing pizzas with horrible toppings to people on his Worst Enemies List. "I did the whole pineapple and ham thing on most of them." He giggled, "But I saved the worst for last. I sent...

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Donald Trump Takes Possession of Elizabeth Warren's House

Funny story: Donald Trump Takes Possession of Elizabeth Warren's House

The president went over to the Senator's house this morning to tell her that she is not a real Native American. When he got there, he exclaimed, "Look what I discovered!" He then claimed ownership of her house, and handed her a blanket infected...

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Judge Kavanaugh Declares Rape Legal In Unilateral Decision

Funny story: Judge Kavanaugh Declares Rape Legal In Unilateral Decision

In a move with no apparent legal precedent, Judge Kavanaugh climbed up on top of the big wooden desk, to the surprise of the other "Supremes." He ripped open his robe, baring his chest, and screamed, "I declare rape legal." The other justices rema...

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Thousands Of Flies Build Nest On Lindsey Graham's Head

Funny story: Thousands Of Flies Build Nest On Lindsey Graham's Head

In the heat of the Judge Kavanaugh hearings, Senator Lindsey Graham started swatting flies, that seemed to be buzzing around him during his address to the Senate floor: "I've made up my mind, and decided BIll Cosby is pre-approved for a spot on th...

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Trump Appoints Bill Cosby To Supreme Court

Funny story: Trump Appoints Bill Cosby To Supreme Court

President Trump signed an executive order, bypassing the confirmation process, and placing the former actor as judge for life on the nation's highest judiciary body. "I like rapists who win," said the serial perv, "not losers who let the victim ge...

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Guy Shows Up At Interview Drunk

Funny story: Guy Shows Up At Interview Drunk

The candidate was slurring his speech, and said under oath, "I like to drink a whoooooooooooole lot!" He then whipped out and chugged a whole bottle of Jack Daniels, then overturned the desk and made a grab for one of the interviewers, who promptl...

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Buffalo Bills Admit They're Not Trying To Win

Funny story: Buffalo Bills Admit They're Not Trying To Win

A high level official in the Buffalo Bills organization, who refuses to reveal his name, has decided to reveal all in a shocking confession that will rock the football world. "I had to get this off my chest. It's not fair to the fans. Those poor s...

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Melania Trump Wears "I'm with stupid" T-Shirt At State Dinner

Funny story: Melania Trump Wears "I'm with stupid" T-Shirt At State Dinner

At a fancy dinner attended by all the great dignitaries of world affairs, the president and first concubine of China were caught in open mouth stares when they heard the translation of what Melania Trump's t-shirt read. The ambassador to Chile spi...

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Beatles Getting Back Together

Funny story: Beatles Getting Back Together

At a London press conference, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr announced their plans to get the rock group back together and start touring again. The plans involve cloning John Lennon and George Harrison in a procedure costing an estimated 21 Billi...

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President Trump Resigns After A Job Well Done

Funny story: President Trump Resigns After A Job Well Done

Citing his unbelievable success at everything he has ever attempted, Donald Trump resigned from the office of president of the United States. I have achieved all I have set out to accomplish in record time. My ratings were greater than any other...

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Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

Funny story: Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...

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Satan Resigns

Funny story: Satan Resigns

The CEO of the underworld released a short statement this morning: I hereby announce my resignation, not because I've done anything wrong, mind you, but because my work here is done. My bucket list for the world is complete. They say it's best...

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