Showing stories written by Ralph E. Shaffer

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President Hillary? Will Clinton Replace Pence as Veep?

In the wake of Michael Cohen's sentencing and revelations from special counsel Mueller and prosecutors from the second district of New York, leading senate Republicans and Democrats met late yesterday to discuss a peaceful resolution to the stolen 20...

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"PETA" Boycotts Autry's "Rudolph"

Charging that Gene Autry's "Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer" contributes to the acceptance of bullying, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals [PETA] today called on all radio stations to ban the song during the holiday season. A PETA spokesm...

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Lakers' LeBron James will Return to Cavaliers

Staples Center, Los Angeles. Magic Johnson, head of basketball operations for the Los Angeles Lakers, has reportedly reached a secret deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers sending NBA superstar LeBron James back to Cleveland before the end of the current...

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Macy's Mannequin Attacks Department Store Groper

Los Angeles, CA. Holiday shoppers were shocked today when an elderly man was seen groping female mannequins at Macy's department store on Wilshire Blvd. He was caught when one of the automated mannequins apparently slapped him in the face so har...

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Trump Switches, Market Twitches, Goodbye Riches

Wall Street, NYC. The Dow Jones Industrial Averages, which rose dramatically Monday following President Donald Trump's proclamation that the tariff war with China had ended in victory for America, fell precipitously Tuesday when the president seeming...

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SNL: Trump Indictees Give New Meaning to Old Songs

Appearing on Saturday Night Live, three former aides to President Donald Trump, all recently indicted by special prosecutor Robert Mueller, gave a funny if not professional performance with a medley of old songs containing very appropriate lyrics, sl...

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Turks, Kurds and Whey, Weigh, Way

Istanbul, Turkey. Special to The Spoof. Turkey's president Recep Tayyip Erdogan today said he would read a peace proposal submitted by the Kurds and weigh the consequences of a summit with their leader, Abdullah Ocalan. "But which Kurds does this...

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Grumpy Trump, He Wanted a Wall

San Ysidro, CA. Hundreds of asylum-seeking Hondurans stormed the heavily fortified wall today at this port of entry for those seeking to enter the United States. U. S. border patrol agents used tear gas to turn away the throng when some of the refug...

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Trump Sends 900 Jews Seeking Asylum back to Nazi Germany

The White House. June 1, 1939. President Donald Trump today approved the recommendation of Secretary of State Cordell Hull that the German passenger liner St. Louis not be given permission to dock and unload approximately 900 Jews seeking asylum out...

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"Ptomaine Romaine"...Again. Chef Retains Romaine's Remains

Just as romaine lettuce growers were recovering from the e coli scare of last spring, the Center for Disease Control issued a "do not serve" and "do not eat" warning covering romaine lettuce from any source and in every state. One defiant salad chef...

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Trump: "Judas Didn't Betray Jesus! He Told Me!"

In an interview with Sean Hannity at Fox News, President Donald Trump was asked if he believed Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. Trump insisted: "Judas told me, five times, that he was not the betrayer. I believe him. He...

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"Lock Her Up!" Ivanka used Private Email for Government Business

Capitol Hill. A search of government department email received during 2017 has revealed that Ivanka Trump used a private email account to send hundreds of messages in which official White House business was discussed with various assistants, governme...

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"Three Old Women:" Trump wants to Pack Supreme Court

Speaking to reporters this morning, President Donald Trump bemoaned the possibility that Chief Justice John Roberts might take the place of Anthony Kennedy as the Supreme Court's swing vote, siding with liberal justices to thwart Trump's efforts to "...

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Trump a Communist? He'll "Nationalize" Amazon

At the recent Paris war memorial, Wikileaks secretly recorded Donald Trump telling Vladimir Putin, "When Amazon owns everything, I'll 'nationalize' it." Aghast, Putin responded: "That's communism! When you 'nationalize' something, that means the g...

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Environmentalist Trump, on California's Fires: "Clear-cut Your Forests"

In response to California governor-elect Gavin Newsom's urgent request for federal emergency aid in the wake of numerous devastating wildfires there, President Donald Trump replied with a press release after seeing telecasts of the catastrophe. "...

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Soros' Latest Caravan: Sending Surplus California Democrats to Red States

Disheartened by narrow senatorial defeats in Florida, Wyoming, Indiana and other Trump Republican states, George Soros has hatched a plan to move surplus Democratic voters out of the darkest blue state of California and into those slightly pinkish st...

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November Surprise! Koch Brothers, Waltons Funding Honduran Caravan

The NY Times, on Sunday, revealed that it isn't George Soros who is funding the caravan of several thousand Honduran migrants, including violent criminals, gang members, rapists and murderers, that have become the key issue in President Donald Trump'...

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Shocking World Series Tale: Baseball Emulates Politics

Dodger Stadium. Special to Spoof. You probably missed it if you watched last month's World Series. On several occasions, the first base umpire went to the bag with an electronic device, sweeping it over and around the bag repeatedly. It was all done...

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Man In a Really Dark Place Finally Figures Out How to Use the Flashlight on His Cellphone.
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