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Spoof stories written by Ralph E. Shaffer

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Funny story: "Trumpograd:" City Renamed for Trump in Pro-Russian Ukraine

"Trumpograd:" City Renamed for Trump in Pro-Russian Ukraine

From the former Bolshoyslobia, Eastern Ukraine. Exclusive to The Spoof. The pro-Russian government of the Eastern Ukraine today announced that the town of Bolshoyslobia has been renamed Trumpograd in honor of the United States president, Donald Trump...

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Funny story: 1775: King George Declares American Rebels "Terrorists"

1775: King George Declares American Rebels "Terrorists"

The Times of London. In a tweet this morning, His Majesty King George III denounced the American rebels as terrorists, "the Western Hemisphere's counterpart of Isis, al-Qaeda and the French." His remarks followed arrival of dispatches detailing the r...

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Funny story: Did "The Garlic" Knock The Spoof Offline?

Did "The Garlic" Knock The Spoof Offline?

The Spoof's Secret HQ. Somewhere in Cyberland. For the third time in a week, The Spoof was again offline for nearly two days, keeping anxious readers from their favorite writers and fake news of the day. While previous outages had been attributed to...

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Funny story: Calculating the Cost of Forgetfulness

Calculating the Cost of Forgetfulness

At 88, I've finally become an absent-minded professor - although I stopped professing long ago. An incident Sunday demonstrated my forgetfulness. We've been experiencing a heatwave in Southern California, coming a little earlier this year. My cent...

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Funny story: Baker Devoted Lifetime to Creating Heels-Only Loaf

Baker Devoted Lifetime to Creating Heels-Only Loaf

Elmira, NY. Henry Ulshred, once a baker to European royalty but who gave it up to pursue a dream, died yesterday in his adopted homeland at age 92. The cause of death was not announced. Ulshred, who changed his name from Shrdlu when he became a ro...

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Funny story: Demoralized Warriors Blame Friday's Loss on Owner's Ouster by NBA

Demoralized Warriors Blame Friday's Loss on Owner's Ouster by NBA

The Oracle, Oakland, CA. Down three games to one and facing the Toronto Raptors on their home court Monday night, in a potentially season-ending game, the Golden State Warriors today placed the blame squarely on NBA officials who recklessly banned Wa...

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Funny story: Airline Profits by Flying Deportees to Repressive Homeland

Airline Profits by Flying Deportees to Repressive Homeland

Los Angeles, CA. Police were called to quell a disturbance this morning at the annual stockholders meeting of Baja Pacific Airlines. A melee occurred when a outraged stockholder tried to propose a motion to terminate a very lucrative contract with...

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Funny story: Russian Hackers, Trump Trumpeteers Knock The Spoof Off Line

Russian Hackers, Trump Trumpeteers Knock The Spoof Off Line

From The Spoof's secret HQ, somewhere in Cyberland. For the second time in a fortnight, agents of the Russian Intelligence Corps have disabled The Spoof's website, preventing the online news agency's millions of readers from obtaining their daily do...

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Funny story: Georgia's "Fatal Heartbeat" Bill Bans Resuscitation

Georgia's "Fatal Heartbeat" Bill Bans Resuscitation

Atlanta, Georgia. Special to The Spoof. The Georgia legislature today began consideration of a drastic measure that would ban resuscitation except in the case of attempted suicide. The bill is sponsored by an aggressive, right-wing religious gro...

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Funny story: Next Step in Fetal Heartbeat Abortion Ban

Next Step in Fetal Heartbeat Abortion Ban

Birmingham, Alabama. Having already banned abortion after a fetal heartbeat is detected, without exceptions for rape or incest, Alabama legislators are now considering a new bill that closes further doors to abortion, Under a proposed bill alleged...

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Funny story: Trump Threatens China: Pandas Will Stay in US

Trump Threatens China: Pandas Will Stay in US

The White House. In a morning tweet, President Donald Trump announced that the half-dozen pandas on loan from China would remain in the US when the contract with the Chinese government expires. The pandas have been on loan to zoos in Atlanta, Memp...

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Funny story: The Rape of Grass - A Steinbeck Parody

The Rape of Grass - A Steinbeck Parody

[NEWS ITEM: Water officials in Big Bear, Lake Arrowhead, Idyllwild and elsewhere have imposed strict water conservation practices, a result of the driest year in Southern California history. One measure under consideration is curtailment of lawn wate...

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Funny story: Trump Orders Execution of Pompeo, Bolton over Summit Failure

Trump Orders Execution of Pompeo, Bolton over Summit Failure

The White House, Exclusive to The Spoof. Unidentified sources close to Donald J. Trump have informed The Spoof that the president has ordered the execution of two of his closest advisers, whom Trump considers responsible for the disaster at the faile...

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Funny story: Raptor Win, "Magic" Hiring Silences San Francisco Sports Writers

Raptor Win, "Magic" Hiring Silences San Francisco Sports Writers

Scotiabank Arena, Toronto. The Raptors dominating win over the Golden State Warriors in game one of the NBA finals left Bay Area sports editors unable to comprehend or explain why Magic Johnson had been hired as an advisor to Warrior coach Steve Ker...

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Funny story: Golden State Hires Magic Johnson as Aide during NBA Finals

Golden State Hires Magic Johnson as Aide during NBA Finals

Toronto, Canada. Special to The Spoof. The Golden State Warriors have reportedly hired Magic Johnson, recently departed from the Los Angeles Lakers, as an aide to Warrior coach Steve Kerr during the NBA finals, which start this week. Warrior manageme...

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Funny story: Me Too Charges Presidential Candidate Shrdlu with "Sexual Battery"

Me Too Charges Presidential Candidate Shrdlu with "Sexual Battery"

Venezuelan Embassy. Ottawa, Canada. Standing in front of the embassy in which Etaoin Shrdlu resides in exile while conducting his 2020 presidential bid, an unidentified spokeswoman for the International Me Too organization read a short statement char...

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Funny story: Trump, Bolton Would Restore Shah as Iran's Dictator

Trump, Bolton Would Restore Shah as Iran's Dictator

The White House, Washington D. C. Exclusive to The Spoof. In an interview with The Spoof at the White House today, presidential foreign policy adviser John Bolton clarified his long-held insistence upon "regime change" in Iran. "What Iran needs, a...

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