Spoof stories written by Ralph E. Shaffer

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How Not to Avoid Jury Duty

Pomona, CA. An elderly man who thought he should have been excused from jury duty for medical reasons reluctantly appeared at the municipal court here last Monday when jury officials rejected his claim. He still hoped that the judge would recognize h...

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Honoring Ronald Reagan, Warner Bros. Re-releases, Re-titles "Kings Row"

Burbank, CA. Exclusive to The Spoof. "Kings Row," the 1942 film that made Ronald Reagan a star, will be re-released and re-titled by Warner Bros. this summer as part of a tribute to the nation's 40th president. The credits, which originally had An...

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"Creeping Koranism?" Saudis Infiltrate La Scala, Covent Garden, the Met

Milan, Italy. Special to The Spoof. Within days of the announcement that Saudi Arabia has bought its way onto the La Scala board of directors, word now comes that the Saudis have approached the Royal Opera company at Covent Garden and the Metropolita...

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Did Anti-Gambling Group Sabotage Santa Anita's Track?

Arcadia, CA. - The death of over twenty horses this season at Santa Anita may be the work of Losers Anon., a vocal anti-gambling organization in Southern California. They have publicly taken credit for the deaths that caused cancellation of racing tw...

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"Increase Birth Rate," "Sex Vacations" - Goals of White Ultranationalists

Lausanne, Switzerland. Special to The Spoof. At this week's international conference of white ultranationalists from Europe, North America and other primarily white areas, the overwhelming concern of delegates was the low birth rate associated with t...

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Trump Advises Netanyahu on Avoiding Prison

Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel's Prime Minister, faces a possible trial on charges of bribery, fraud and corruption after his attorney general announced that he would file for an indictment. Seeking advice from someone who's been there, he reached out to...

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Pink's Hubby Turns to Old-Style Parenting

In a surprising video posted by Carey Hart, husband of singer Pink, their daughter Willow enthusiastically attacks numerous pink balloons with a very sharp knife. While Hart has been widely criticized for allowing Willow to play with a knife, he's al...

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The Last Straw: Environmentalists ban Plastic Ones

Berkeley, CA. Those far-left, socialist-environmentalists at the University of California can't stop banning popular, useful things. Fresh from their success in banning the deliberately misnamed "single use" plastic bag, most of which were used multi...

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Earth Day at Machu Picchu Went Badly

Machu Picchu, Peru. An American Peace Corps project designed to produce abundant and inexpensive electricity to this remote region of the Peruvian Andes has gone awry, threatening the existence of this ancient Inca city, and causing a mass exodus int...

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Michael Cohen gets Hollywood Blvd Star

Hollywood, CA. The Bored Directors - yes, that's what they call themselves - of the famed Hollywood Walk of Fame, voted today to place a star on the fabled sidewalk in recognition of Michael "Flip" Cohen's unequaled performance before House and Senat...

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L. A.'s Homeless Flea

Los Angeles. Special to The Spoof. Yesterday's disturbing Spoof headline - "Homeless Flee L. A." - is matched today by an equally tragic tale - "L. A.'s Homeless Flea." The L. A. city council's newly-adopted ordinance banning public performances...

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Homeless Flee LA; Fear "Forced Housing"

While social workers continue to report tens of thousands living on the city's streets, under freeway overpasses, and on islands in the usually dry riverbed, the homeless exodus from the nation's second largest city has begun in earnest. The impetus...

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Trump to Star in Spaghetti Western Remakes

Italian film director Sergio Leone III, the grandson of the fabled creator of Spaghetti Westerns, and with a promising future in his own right, has signed Donald Trump to the Clint Eastwood role in the remakes of three 1960s classic Leone films. Trum...

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Trump Cancels Wall; Emergency Funds will build Fortified Train

Hanoi, Vietnam, President Donald Trump was so impressed by the luxurious, fortified train that brought North Korea's Kim Jong-un to the Hanoi Summit, that he has canceled the U. S.-Mexico border wall, opting instead for construction of his own stream...

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Lakers Trade Magic Johnson to Cleveland

Almost lost in the flurry of last-minute trades before the NBA deadline, was a strange arrangement between two struggling teams who once were at the top of their respective divisions. In a surreptitious exchange, the Los Angeles Lakers sent their...

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Democrats as Obnoxious as Republicans at Committee Hearings

Matthew Whitaker, acting attorney general, was the powerless victim of pious Democratic scorn at Friday's House Judiciary committee hearing. He must have felt like an abortion rights or Free Speech advocate being skewered by Republicans at a compara...

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Did Pelosi Applaud Trump's Speech too Frequently?

Progressive congressional Democrats expressed great displeasure at the number of times House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rose to applaud statements by President Donald Trump during his State of the Union address, Tuesday. Not all television cameras were...

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How Often will Pelosi Applaud Trump Tonight?

Sitting behind President Donald Trump at the State of the Union speech a year ago were Senate leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan. Every time the president made a point appealing to Republicans, McConnell and Ryan were on their feet, a...

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