PEQUOT, SD --- Chanting "Die, die, die," the crowd of rage-maddened parents watched Pequot High School teacher Jake Rodham's house burn to the ground. The twenty-year teaching veteran, a math instructor in the controversy-riddled South Dakota school...
PEQUOT, SD --- In what has been announced as the first of many firings in his school district, Pequot Superintendent of Schools Pat Burn presented Spanish teacher Constanza de la Barca with a notice of termination. Burn announced Pequot High School w...
BOISE, ID --- Call it a temper problem. Call is a misplaced sense of moral values. But you better be careful what you call women around 26 year-old Marianne Dahle. She'll scalp you. For real! Just ask her young friend "Sheila". And now that she is in...
WASHINGTON, DC --- Hoping to forestall another scandal involving government payouts to the media, President George W. Bush today announced a halt to all payments to satirists. A recent congressional investigation revealed the White House was playing...
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL --- If you thought the newly released pictures of Saturn's most interesting moon, Titan, looked an awful lot like the Viking shots of Mars taken in the 1970s, you're right. Recently leaked information revealed that the Cassini-Huyg...
PEQUOT, SD --- Two years ago, Pequot High School faced a record number of teen pregnancies. Concerned school board and PTA members decided to educate their troubled youngsters, purchasing fifteen computerized "infant simulators" and an award-winning...
Spokesman calls rookie entrepreneur's concept "morally repulsive".
HOLLYWOOD, CA --- With the NHL Lockout continuing well into next season, hockey players as young as four years old are likely to find their way from local cable access channels to national television. That's what ESPN executives said after negoti...
NEW YORK --- Renowned African American filmmaker Spike Lee today announced he has signed a contract with Sony Pictures to direct six movies based on Michael Moorcock's Elric saga. The central hero of this psychologically complex series is Elric of Me...
HOLLYWOOD, CA --- Celebrity foes Bill O'Reilly and George Clooney have joined forces for a second time, as they announced a "Celebrity Blanket Party" for a Fort Lauderdale couple who tossed their newborn son out of a moving car earlier this morning.
PEQUOT, SD --- A report card that would have earned youngsters a beating twenty years ago will now earn them something else: a place on the honor roll. At least in Pequot, South Dakota. Superintendent of schools, Pat "The Freezer" Burn last Friday an...
RICHMOND, VA --- For a while it seemed that the prison gates were about to slam shut on a man caught using his video phone to look up the skirts of teenage girls. But thanks to his attorneys -- and a legal loophole -- Jeffrey S. remains a free man. I...
CAMP BUCCA, IRAQ --- After their harrowing tour of duty in Iraq, only days away from going home, the men and women of Camp Bucca, Iraq, felt like blowing off a little steam. Now, the Guard unit stands shamed, and the soldiers have mud on their faces.
LANGLEY, W.VA. --- Protesters continue to flock to CIA Headquarters in Langley, West Virginia in the wake of alleged plans leaked to the media by the Central Intelligence Agency and Wal Mart to restore the ailing Hubble telescope. According to secret...
JACKSONVILLE, FL --- Superbowl Security failed to react quickly enough as former superstar and accused pedophile Michael Jackson raced across Alltel Stadium's football field to the fifty yard line. Then, in full view of the nearly 80,000 terrified st...
VATICAN CITY --- Sources close to Pope John Paul II have revealed that the pontiff has been begging Vatican officials to be released from his official duties that he may enter retirement. However, the governing council remains adamant in its position...
WASHINGTON, DC --- Officials at the American Nazi Party's national headquarters today announced they rejected former pop star and accused pedophile Michael Jackson's membership application not because of his race, but on grounds of "moral turpitude".
PORTLAND, OR --- Oregon Aryans are done being spiteful, self-absorbed hate mongers, at least according to Ed Krappler, Oregon's chief of the American Nazi Party (NSM). And to prove it, Krappler says, all Oregon Nazis will only do good deeds from...
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