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Spoof stories written by Chris Dahl

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Trump Refused by Own Penis

Funny story: Trump Refused by Own Penis

Some thought it would be the stress of becoming the leader of the Free World, handling illegal immigration, badgering from Bernie Sanders or wrangling with the Democrats that would have driven President Donald Trump to take a "nice little rest" in a...

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Taco Bell Franchise Shut Down Amid Concerns of Food Quality

Funny story: Taco Bell Franchise Shut Down Amid Concerns of Food Quality

The popular fast-food chain Taco Bell has been in definitely shut down by the newly revamped Food and Drug Administration due to concerns over the quality and constitution of their "meat" filling. Concerns began when a rash of emergency room vis...

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Trump Signs Another Executive Order Against Midgets

Funny story: Trump Signs Another Executive Order Against Midgets

Is the pen mightier than the sword? Donald J. Trump, newly crowned POTUS, must believe so since he has been using his on a regular basis. Since banning everything from universal health care to mortgage loan assistance to the poor, from retirement a...

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Trump Signs Yet Another Executive Order Banning Poverty

Funny story: Trump Signs Yet Another Executive Order Banning Poverty

POTUS Donald J. Trump has worked quickly and furiously with his new presidential pen like a kid with new sneakers who swears he can jump higher and run faster. So far he has done everything he can to prove he is faster and jumps higher by issuing app...

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Trump Travel Ban Nets Jesus and Mohammed

Funny story: Trump Travel Ban Nets Jesus and Mohammed

POTUS Donald Trump's latest executive order limiting travelers from 7 Middle Eastern countries has had dramatic and immediate effects and for some of the most high-profile celebrities on earth. Aside from doctors, lawyers, translators, mothers, fathe...

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Obituary: United States of America, 240, died January 8, 2017, all at once on Capitol Hill, due to absolute shock

Funny story: Obituary: United States of America, 240, died January 8, 2017, all at once on Capitol Hill, due to absolute shock

The United States of America died of a massive cardiac arrest due what one doctor stated was "absolute shock" while Donald J. Trump was being sworn in as 45th POTUS. Cardiologist on the scene stated that the attack must have been building up for som...

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Donald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again

Funny story: Donald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again

Read the Constitution? Why not write -or re-write- the Constitution? That's Donald J. Trump's new obsession: "fixing" the Constitution he believes is somehow broken. Trump's fascination with the document that has been the basis for American polit...

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Trump Builds His First Wall … But Not on the Mexican Border

Funny story: Trump Builds His First Wall … But Not on the Mexican Border

President-Elect Donald Trump's first press conference since his election was, as per the usual, filled with drama and fireworks. A CNN reporter attempted to ask a question concerning a report based on the knowledge of a former British Intelligence o...

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Meet "Mad Dog" Mattis, the Man Who Will Keep America Safe Again and the Doctrine of Military Expediency

Funny story: Meet "Mad Dog" Mattis, the Man Who Will Keep America Safe Again and the Doctrine of Military Expediency

While president-elect Donald J. Trump vows to make America "great again," James N. Mattis has been tasked with making America safe again, The retired United States Marine Corps general who last served as the 11th Commander of United States Central Command, the Unified Combatant Command responsible for American military operations in the Middle East, and the Northeast Africa and Central Asia, from...

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Jesus Stands by His People, Makes Sure Black Lives Matter in Birmingham

Funny story: Jesus Stands by His People, Makes Sure Black Lives Matter in Birmingham

Jesus found himself in the news again, this time in Birmingham, Alabama, the cradle of the Civil Rights movement. The Savior vowed to stand by His "people" until the "White Devils," as he called them, stopped physically harassing them as they did at...

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Deciphering Donald: A Look at the Rumsfeld Doctrine of Information Dissemination

Funny story: Deciphering Donald: A Look at the Rumsfeld Doctrine of Information Dissemination

Donald Henry Rumsfeld, affectionately known as "Duck" due to his ability to duck reporters' questions with his Donald Duck-like twisting of phrases, has a long and distinguished career in American politics. The former staffer has worked for many of...

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"I was Trump before Trump." A Chat with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, in The End Times

Funny story: "I was Trump before Trump." A Chat with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, in The End Times

Lucifer, Satan, The Devil, The Deceiver, The Prince of Darkness, Azazel, Beelzebub or even Dick Cheney - whatever you choose to call him, the leader of the Legions of Darkness has come here to say one simple thing: "Please, call me Lu. Everyone calls...

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"I sorta get away with things like that." An Interview with Donald J. Trump

Funny story: "I sorta get away with things like that." An Interview with Donald J. Trump

Mired in 2 controversies, and one of the most (if not the most) tumultuous election seasons in American history, Donald J. Trump, presidential hopeful and real-estate magnate who moonlights as a "reality" TV star, decided to come forth and speak cand...

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Jesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception

Funny story: Jesus and the No-So-Immaculate Conception

Since coming out of retirement earlier this year to manage the End Times, Jesus has branded himself as a regular fixture on the club-and-bar scene, drawing attention with his wild drinking and his late-night romps with females and some males who simp...

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Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...

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Animal Farm, Part 8: Hunger

Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 8: Hunger

But everything was not okay on Napoleon Farm. The Pigs and the Boars kept most of the grain and feed and hay for themselves, stored away in the old barn behind the two big towers Old Man Kennedy had put up. The animals didn't understand exactly why Old Man Kennedy had put up the two towers - not even the pigs, but Old Man Kennedy was a big talker and even as he hauled the lumber and pounded the...

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Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm

Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm

Old Man Kennedy's Saturday boxers, red and tattered by the wind, were still waving in the wind at the top of the pole the pigs had put up. The terror level was still on high alert. Nothing had changed, except that it had gotten worse. When Scylla and Charidibis woke that morning and went the yard to chase their tails a bit before breakfast, they saw another slaughtered boar. It was mangled in...

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Animal Farm Revisited, Part 6: It Didn't Take Long

Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, Part 6: It Didn't Take Long

It Didn't Take Long Even before the cock crowed that morning and the whole farm was sleeping, Murdoch, Old George and Young George were busy changes Bernard's rules for a "Goldyn Age." "Can't we just take them all down?" Old George asked as Murdoch carefully scribbled out some of the rules Bernard had put up before the election of Young George. "Yeah," Young George asked, "can't we just sta...

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