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Spoof stories written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

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MP porn still Britain's favourite genre

Funny story: MP porn still Britain's favourite genre

It is an obscure brand of pornography, invented in the 1970s, and uniquely British, and based around a centuries-old law that it is illegal to have sex with your local MP. The law was lifted in 1995, but the taboo continues. Videos of members of the...

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No man is an island - or is he?

Funny story: No man is an island - or is he?

The saying "no man is an island" is meant as a literal comparison to say that no human being is a piece of land surrounded by water. It was always true, until now. Geoff Kamehameha is a Samoan who used to live on an island in the south Pacific whi...

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Daily Mail trolls NHS

Funny story: Daily Mail trolls NHS

The Daily Mail have boasted about their campaign to help the NHS, in which 11,000 people have volunteered to spend a few hours a week helping the underfunded service. Tabloid editor Geordie Greig said, "Why, if only the greedy money-grabbing nurses w...

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Multimillionare Mogg says that Brexitocalypse is nothing to worry about

Funny story: Multimillionare Mogg says that Brexitocalypse is nothing to worry about

Nineteenth-century gentleman and unbelievably a politician, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has said that there is nothing to worry about from a no-deal Brexit, after the Bank of England reported that it would cause billions in damage to the UK economy. "We'll b...

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Nightclub owner to open bar on North Sentinel islands

Funny story: Nightclub owner to open bar on North Sentinel islands

A British nightclub owner has declared that he will open a bar on the remote North Sentinel Islands, near India. The people there are untouched by the modern world and continue to live a Stone Age lifestyle, as they have for tens of thousands of year...

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Brexit deal close to being crimped off

Funny story: Brexit deal close to being crimped off

After two and a half years of straining and pushing, Brexit is almost ready to splash down into the toilet bowl of political reality, and flushed into the sewers of history like the steaming turd of an idea that it is. Brexit has marched through t...

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Retired gardener becomes unlikely drill music DJ

Funny story: Retired gardener becomes unlikely drill music DJ

Percy Shears, 77, from Croydon, has become something of a celebrity in his neighbourhood by holding "drill music" parties in his shed. He regularly hosts dozens of teenagers on Saturday nights, and police often visit for fear that they might turn vio...

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WW1 would have been over more quickly without all the football armistices

Funny story: WW1 would have been over more quickly without all the football armistices

World War 1 is an evocative and mysterious war. The dark trenches, the stench of death, the rattle of bullets, the endless referees' whistles, the thwack of metal boot on leather, the cheeky banter of the chants. The war was technically won by the...

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Theresa May ponders sacking entire army and using cheaper ghosts from WW1

Funny story: Theresa May ponders sacking entire army and using cheaper ghosts from WW1

On the hundredth anniversary of the end of World War 1, world leaders gathered in France to commemorate the event. French president Macron said, "It is important that we remember the fallen, and that we ensure such a thing never happens again.

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Extraterrestrial object Oumuamua turns out to be a giant sex-aid

Funny story: Extraterrestrial object Oumuamua turns out to be a giant sex-aid

Scientists from NASA have been surprised to discover more details about the nature of an unusual extraterrestrial object which recently flew through the solar system. Oumuamua, a very long and girthy asteroid, travelled around the Sun in 2018 and fle...

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Trump thinks UN is “a Miss World contest”

Funny story: Trump thinks UN is “a Miss World contest”

President Trump revealed this week that he doesn't understand what the United Nations is for, and appears to think that it is a competitor of Miss World. In an interview with Fox News, he described the United Nations as "too dressed up" and said,...

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Thanksgiving was "Native Americans being sarcastic"

Funny story: Thanksgiving was "Native Americans being sarcastic"

Historians have long believed that Thanksgiving was either a genuine attempt to smooth over relations between early US settlers and the native Americans; or else a lie told by the settlers after they had massacred them all. However, Professor of H...

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Man reads YouTube comments

Geoff Oldman, 65, of Minneapolis, was shocked today after reading the comments below a video on YouTube. The pensioner did not have a lot of experience with the internet, but had been sent a link to a video clip of a cat. After finding himself on...

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Sharon Osbourne claims “snowflakes have ruined this country”

Loudmouth manager and Ozzy-minder, Sharon Osbourne, today raged at tabloids that “snowflakes have ruined this country.” She was not referring to the weather. She believes that the state of the UK has been seriously harmed, not by government misrul...

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Has feminism gone too far?

Funny story: Has feminism gone too far?

It is something that is heard more and more on the internet these days, particularly in YouTube comments, Twitter arguments, and other media that inexplicably seem to be the primary way in which humans communicate nowadays. TheSpoof decided to invest...

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Gay conversion therapy proves effective

Funny story: Gay conversion therapy proves effective

Reverend Geoff Bent runs gay conversion therapy courses from his parish in Butte, Montana. Unlike his rivals, he claims a 100% success rate with his students. TheSpoof decided to investigate his methods, so I went undercover as a homosexualist to ask...

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Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

Funny story: Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

It has been over two years now since the UK's referendum on whether national symbol Britannia should remain a woman, or should become a man. The vote for the sex change narrowly won, but still we are no closer to seeing her with a cock and balls.

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Climate change "will not affect Scotland"

Funny story: Climate change "will not affect Scotland"

Scotland is known for its dark winters, cool summers and a constant drizzle which ensures that nobody in the country has ever tasted a dry chip. In the UN's latest climate change report, it predicts that nothing will change. The report says that a...

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