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Boris Johnson makes his resignation speech

Funny story: Boris Johnson makes his resignation speech

After quitting the cabinet last week over the state of Brexit, Boris Johnson made his resignation speech to parliament today. Here is a transcript of what he said: "Hello, grubbledy mugwumps. I am fed up with our higgledy-arsed approach to Brexit,...

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Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer

The world of criminal investigation was cockahoop today after billionaire fish-faced eccentric Elon Musk revealed his latest invention. At a press conference, Musk wore one of his new prosthetic noses and was able to identify three members of the pre...

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Putin put out by trumpety Trump

Funny story: Putin put out by trumpety Trump

Vladimir Putin is said to be angry after Donald Trump revealed secret details about their meeting in Helsinki. The two world leaders met in a sauna near Malminkartanohiuppu Park, speaking through a Russian interpreter. Although no formal declarati...

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Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

Funny story: Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...

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Queen tells Trump to "sod orf"

Funny story: Queen tells Trump to "sod orf"

Today, the US president and first lady met with the Queen at Windsor Castle, where they had tea and crumpet. Having spent all week insulting and misunderstanding allies during his European visit to NATO and the UK, it was expected that Trump might...

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Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

Funny story: Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

In the current apocalyptic and grisly political landscape of the UK, Jacob Rees-Mogg has proven himself as deranged as any serial killer. Every day for the last week he has ordered one of his Brexiter minions to sacrifice himself/herself by resigning...

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Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Funny story: Boris Johnson: "I'm a world class quitter"

Straw-haired buffoon Boris Johnson has resigned from his job as UK Foreign Secretary, in protest at Brexit plans that he believes are "not outy enough". He bragged that although he achieved "bugger all" during his two years in the high-profile gov...

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Spoof writer writes spoof article about something insignificant

Funny story: Spoof writer writes spoof article about something insignificant

Arson Bobwang, a regular writer for The Spoof, has written his hundredth article for the well-disregarded satire site. It is a minimalistic tale entitled "Leaf Falls From Tree", and is about as funny as watching a real leaf fall from a real tree.

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Philip May reveals sitcom-like lifestyle

Philip May, first husband of the UK, has revealed details about his life in 10 Downing Street to men's lifestyle magazine Jockstrap. In the interview, he describes his life being married to Theresa May as "like being a hapless accident-prone characte...

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Phil Collins says that "Incels" like him should just have a big wank

Funny story: Phil Collins says that "Incels" like him should just have a big wank

Phil Collins is a 67 year old bald man best known for playing drums and sometimes yelping along. He is also an "Incel" or involuntarily celibate person, and he has a message for other Incels like him. "I never lost me virginity nor nuffing until I...

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Leprechaun abortion parties to end in Ireland

Funny story: Leprechaun abortion parties to end in Ireland

For many years, remote villages in Ireland have held a dark secret. It is illegal for a human doctor to perform an abortion, but there is no law against leprechauns carrying out the dangerous operation. Two or three times a year in each village, hidd...

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Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars

Funny story: Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars

The Flat Earth Society has grown in popularity in recent years, as the chronic underfunding of education starts to bite, and civilisation begins its inevitable decline back to the Stone Age. Prominent Flat Earthers include Kanye West, Jacob Rees-Mogg...

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UK government admits that "Brexit plan fag packet" is missing

Funny story: UK government admits that "Brexit plan fag packet" is missing

In an astonishing admission of incompetence and poor planning, Prime Minister Theresa May has revealed that the cigarette packet on which Brexit plans were written has been missing for nearly two years. The empty box of Marlboro Lights was probabl...

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Man caught HGV from a truck stop toilet

Funny story: Man caught HGV from a truck stop toilet

For many it is a disease that still carries a stigma. We can all remember television adverts from the 1980s reminding us about the dangers of HGV, to keep safe while trucking, and to always use a convoy. Geoff Stop, 37, is a trucker who now suffer...

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World's First Cat Mohel Opens For Business

Funny story: World's First Cat Mohel Opens For Business

New York is often called the city that never sleeps. Well it's safe to say that cat owners will be sleeping a bit easier these days knowing that they can have their cat circumcised at what is believed to be the world's first cat mohel. Jeff Fourst...

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New campaign aims to tackle mentalistophobia

Funny story: New campaign aims to tackle mentalistophobia

For many people in the mentalist community, being called bonkers or crazy is a part of everyday life. Now a new campaign launched by mentalist support group Deranged and Proud tries to make such insults a thing of the past. Geoff Cuckoo, 47, of Ch...

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Henry Bessemer's lingerie museum opens

Funny story: Henry Bessemer's lingerie museum opens

Victorian engineer Sir Henry Bessemer was best known for his famous process for steelmaking, but also had a keen eye for women's underwear. Many of his own designs and prototypes are about to be exhibited in a specially constructed museum in Chaffinc...

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Royal family produces another litter

Funny story: Royal family produces another litter

Horse-faced brood mare Kate Middleton has given birth to another boy. Doctors say that she is doing well and although she ate the rest of her litter, one male did manage to survive. The pale princess will now be rested for another few months, then...

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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