One of the most hated individuals in America, Ted "Dracula" Cruz has just been named "The Asshole of The Year" by The US Proctologists Guild. Cruz joins other assholes of the year such as Donald "The Orange Whale" Trump, Ann "Horse Face" Coulter,…
Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti has stated that retail stores Walmart, Target, and Fiddle Faddle have all run out of the new WNBA panties. Confetti noted that the new undies come in sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL, and XXXL - though, good luck finding t…
Ipso Facto News writer Sinclair Petaluma, said the FBI has surveillance video of Trump stealing silverware from the White House kitchen. Petaluma personally took an independent poll of Trump supporters, and he found that only 7% say that they woul…
The lipstick industry has just gotten the biggest boost since waterproof lipstick as "Sultry," by Cover Chick Cosmetics has just hit the cosmetic market. According to a representative with CCC, the new lipstick has several secret ingredients that…
Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to none other than our roving reporter, Petula Tart, from The Ta Ta For Now News Agency. And what's all the buzz about? A little bit of football, a lot of royalty, and…
Elon Musk and his ingenious team at Tesla Motors have once again left the world agog with their latest creation – the ultra-modern Tesla Transformer Convertible! Musk, the wizard behind the wheels, proudly announced that the new convertible featur…
In a surprising twist that had Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle's eyebrows reaching for the stars, she dared to ask the towering Khloe Kardashian about a peculiar rumor circulating in the celebrity cosmos – was she really dating a hitma…
President Biden recently commented at a dinner in honor of America's number 1 spy, code name: Lady Chatterley, that he wishes the US had half a dozen female spies, as talented, as gorgeous, and as sexy as LC. She has dated Russian President Vladim…
One of Al-Qaeda's leading spies, Hanji Mir Azis was recently arrested as he sat in Yankee Stadium watching a game between the Yanks and the world champion Houston Astros. Mir Azis is considered to be one of the world's most prolific spies, who has…
The Sports Bet Gazette has just revealed that the new Britney Spears Sports Bra has just been named "The Best Sports Bra in The Sports World" by the Women's National Basketball Association. Kia Nurse with the Seattle Storm stated that she has has…
The Daily Dirt is reporting that Madonna the 'has been' singer recently told reporter Stormy Coin that she can no longer hit the high notes so she is going to have to hang up her microphone. Madonna whose real name is Madonna Louise Pepperonia Cic…
BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx reports that Paul "The Ragin' Cajun" Punch has just celebrated his 99th birthday. Punch, who was a stand up comedian, is credited with having invented the comical routine 'Punch Line." The "Ragin Cajun" at one tim…
There is no one in the entire United States who makes more TV commercials than Taylor Swift. Tay-Tay has sung country, pop, blues, gospel, and even recorded a hip hop album with noted rapper Yo Yo Afro Woke. And now The News Now News Agency is…
According to the Vox Populi News Agency, avocado wedding cakes are now the most popular wedding cakes in the state of California. The delicious avocado marital cakes are the brainchild of Burbank baker Shilo "Sugar" Coronado, who has been baking w…
Reports filtering out of Madison Avenue are that the new "Hell On Wheels" Condoms, which were designed with Anson Mount (aka a rugged man) in mind are selling like beer at a New York City sports bar. The new condoms were designed to be 100% effect…
One of the greatest players to ever dribble a basketball, Charles Barkley, has said that he supports the LGBTQ community. He noted that he knows several members of extremists groups who are closet gaylords and lesbionics. He then commented that…
The QuinniPinni Polling Agency reports that members are leaving the NRA like gazelles running from a pack of hungry lions. A rep of the reputable polling agency said that the members are tired of the verbal abuse that they have been receiving from…
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