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Funny story: Brian Williams Moving to Fox News -- 'Nobody here gets fired or suspended for not telling the truth!'

Brian Williams Moving to Fox News -- 'Nobody here gets fired or suspended for not telling the truth!'

NBC news anchorman Brian Williams will be moving to Fox News in September, following his current six-month suspension. Williams' credibility fizzled after he confessed that the helicopter he was traveling in was not shot down during the Iraq War, as...

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Funny story: Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Cambridge-Nearly half the faculty at Harvard (49.2%) have submitted their resignations to the college over its new policy forbidding sexual relations with students. The group includes LGBT professors and graduate instructors alike, who say that t...

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Funny story: God Resigns, Effective Midnight--Calls Humanity 'The Edsel Ford of Creation'

God Resigns, Effective Midnight--Calls Humanity 'The Edsel Ford of Creation'

Jerusalem-God resigned today, citing the appalling murders, rapes and tortures carried out everywhere in His Holy Name. "I just can't take it anymore," the Deity said, speaking from a conveniently burning bush near the Golden Dome in Jerusalem. "...

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Funny story: Brian Williams Mutates into a Giant Ass on TV! Public Aghast as NBC's Blue-Eyed Boy Desperately Neighs and Hee-Haws!

Brian Williams Mutates into a Giant Ass on TV! Public Aghast as NBC's Blue-Eyed Boy Desperately Neighs and Hee-Haws!

New York-'NBC Nightly News' viewers watched in fascinated horror Wednesday night as handsome, blue-eyed anchorman Brian Williams, 55, literally turned himself into an ass before their very eyes, live on TV and all within five minutes! By the end...

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Funny story: Nancy Fenwick, 'Keeper of the Queen Corgis,' Pens New Tell-All Book - Can Monarchy Survive Shock Revelations?

Nancy Fenwick, 'Keeper of the Queen Corgis,' Pens New Tell-All Book - Can Monarchy Survive Shock Revelations?

London--The shock news this week that HM the Queen is cutting out her Corgis was eclipsed by the even more stunning announcement that the former "Keeper of the Queen Corgis," Nancy Fenwick, is writing a "no-holes barred," tell-all book about the outr...

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Funny story: Andy Borowitz Appointed first Professor of Faux News at Harvard

Andy Borowitz Appointed first Professor of Faux News at Harvard

Cambridge-Andy Borowitz, senior faux-news correspondent at the New Yorker, has been appointed Harvard University's first Professor Nuntium Non Genuina Spoofitus(Professor of Double-Take Journalism). Borowitz will begin his duties in October, init...

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Funny story: World Watches In Amazement as US Giggles for Two Weeks Over 'Balls'

World Watches In Amazement as US Giggles for Two Weeks Over 'Balls'

New York-A UN resolution, sponsored by a broad coalition of stupefied nations led by Secretary-General Ban ki-Moon, called upon the United States today to "grow up, for God's sake, and stop with the stupid double entendres about deflated footballs."...

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Funny story: Congress to Outlaw Coitus Interruptis - 'Just Another Sleazy Way to Avoid Pregnancy!

Congress to Outlaw Coitus Interruptis - 'Just Another Sleazy Way to Avoid Pregnancy!

A new Republican bill before Congress criminalizes coitus interruptis --the act of male withdrawal during heterosexual intercourse seconds before orgasm so as to avoid pregnancy. "If we're going to illegalize abortion and birth control," said Rep...

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Funny story: God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

God Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'

Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...

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Funny story: 80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

80% of Porn Searches are by Terrorists - Entire Culture Obsessed with Sex and Death

Teheran - Iranian sexologist Sheik Ratel-n-Rol, the "Renegade Imam" is on the run again tonight after publishing Goggle's 2014 statistical analysis of internet porn use on his popular "Under the Hijab" sex-discussion blog. According to the report...

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Funny story: Death to Seat Belts! Republicans Demand End to All 'Fascistic' Road and Car Regulations

Death to Seat Belts! Republicans Demand End to All 'Fascistic' Road and Car Regulations

Washington-Feeling restrained by that seat belt? Resent being told you can't text and drive? Hate going to the DMV? The new Republican-controlled Congress is riding like John Wayne to your rescue! Fueled by Tea Party anger and led by glamorous cas...

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Funny story: 'Je Suis Frostie' Movement Burgeons After Muslim Cleric Bans Snowmen

'Je Suis Frostie' Movement Burgeons After Muslim Cleric Bans Snowmen

Boston-Families throughout New England yesterday defiantly posted "Je Suis Frostie" signs in their windows and on the snowmen in their front and back yards, following an anti-snowman fatwah issued by a Saudi Arabian imam, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Mun...

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'

Ted Cruz Announces: 'Jesus Charlie is me!'--Opposes 'Obamacare for Education'

Washington--Republican firebrand Ted Cruz said today that "like those guys on TV," he too was "Jesus Charlie." He went on to denounce President Obama's recent proposal giving workers two free years of community college as "Obamacare for education."...

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Funny story: 'The Onion' and Six Other Fake News Websites to Close--Russell Sprouts Says: 'World Insanity Beyond Our Writers' Imaginations'

'The Onion' and Six Other Fake News Websites to Close--Russell Sprouts Says: 'World Insanity Beyond Our Writers' Imaginations'

Chicago-"The Onion" Managing Editor Russell Sprouts announced today that the well-known fake-news outlet was shutting down immediately. Six other prominent sites said they would also be closing. "We can't keep up any more," said Sprouts, speaking...

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Funny story: South African Whites Flood Across U.S. Southern Border Seeking New Apartheid State

South African Whites Flood Across U.S. Southern Border Seeking New Apartheid State

Ferguson MO--Thousands of white South Africans described as 'Mandela refugees' are flooding across America's southern borders in search of a new apartheid state. Authorities in Texas, Missouri and Arizona say that they are welcome and will be qui...

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Funny story: Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign

Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign

London-Former British Prime Minister and converted Catholic Tony Blair called upon the Vatican today to immediately remove "dangerously subversive" Pope Francis I, and reinstate his "politically more realistic" predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI.

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Funny story: Ad Claiming 'Ellen Lied', Lied! Ace Investigative Reporter Dick Scrotum Exposes the Lie behind the Lie!

Ad Claiming 'Ellen Lied', Lied! Ace Investigative Reporter Dick Scrotum Exposes the Lie behind the Lie!

We've all seen the gif--Ellen DeGeneres glancing guiltily over her shoulder again and again while the headline screams: "Cover Girl Drops Ellen! Ellen feels ashamed she lied to her fans for years. See the secret she hid so well! [arrow]." Now Spo...

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