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Jesus Christ returns, is shot and killed in Las Vegas

Faithful believers around the globe were joyful then stunned as Jesus of Nazareth, long awaited Messiah of the Christian faith, returned to Earth, only to be subsequently shot and killed at close range in Las Vegas by unknown assailants. The Cla...

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Republicans Propose Privatizing the Concept of Fairness

Having experienced great success in the privatization of the military with groups Blackwater, prisons with corporations like MTC, and with Congress itself by blatantly serving whoever has the most money, the Republican party today introduced a bill t...

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Justice Scalia Turning Into Gargamel from "The Smurfs" Before Our Very Eyes

Longtime conservative United States Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is apparently morphing into a living caricature of Gargamel, the perpetually-plotting yet ever-frustrated hedge wizard slash homeless man antagonist from "The Smurfs." "It'...

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Italian Government Affirms Strict Stance On 18+ At Government Orgies

In a rare act of political unity from the land that brought the world Caligula, Benito Mussolini, and the single most influential cultural factor behind "Jersey Shore", the government of Italy has reaffirmed its stance that all whores in attendance a...

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Dog-Doo Quietly Picked Up Next To Dead Homeless Man

Responsible pet owner Brentson Whitman, 32, quietly and carefully fulfilled the social contract to care for the waste deposited by his three year old Jack Russell Terrier "Oscar Wilde" by delicately and silently removing the small coil of doggy-doo...

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