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Funny story: Pelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment

Pelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment

Nanny Pelosi and Upchuck Schumer, speaking on behalf of the “Democratic” Party, announced two "artichokes of impeachment" against President Donald Trump. “Today, in service of our party,” Pelosi said, “we are charging the president with having hig...

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Funny story: Singer Rewards Homeless Fans with Free Pizza

Singer Rewards Homeless Fans with Free Pizza

A half-dozen Taylor Knott-Swift fans slept on the street awaiting their chance to see their idol. They hadn't eaten in days and needed a bath. Since Taylor was “singing” in New York City, rather than in San Francisco, Los Angeles, or San Diego, her d...

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Funny story: Paranoid Cop Falsely Accuses Booger Slinger

Paranoid Cop Falsely Accuses Booger Slinger

As police across the fruited plain are being squirted with water pistols and “deloused” with buckets of water, many members of the so-called “thin blue line” have become paranoid. A Marion County, Indiana, officer, Dee Jay, who asked to remain ano...

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Funny story: World in CRISIS!

World in CRISIS!

The news media like to keep us in crises. There is a crisis for everyone, it seems. Here are a few of the crises in which you, right now, may well be involved (even if you didn't know it): Water crisis Fentanyl crisis Heroin crisis Suez crisis...

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Funny story: MADD Magazine's staff pronounced “cured”

MADD Magazine's staff pronounced “cured”

Downtown Burbank, CA—Kenny's Parking Lots, the owner of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) Magazine (formerly Mad Hatter Magazine, which was published by the Red Hats Society of Displaced Social Matrons) is officially out of business. Well, almo...

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Funny story: Dalai Lama admits he's a “sexist pig”

Dalai Lama admits he's a “sexist pig”

Shangri-La, Tibet—Asked what he would expect in a successor if the next dalai lama were female, the current Dalai Lama said, “She would have to be attractive to me, because, for me, in a woman, beauty is more important than brains.” He then giggl...

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Funny story: New Zealand Prime Minister admits she's "stumped"

New Zealand Prime Minister admits she's "stumped"

Outback, New Zealand -- Jacinda Ardamn, Prime Minister of New Zealand (wherever that is), admitted she's “confused” about the world. Any ideas or policies that do not accord with her own nation's backward notions are “beyond my understanding,” she...

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Funny story: Phone costs football star his car

Phone costs football star his car

LUNDUN, Merry Old England -- District Judge Katie Bar'Dor declared soccer has-been Dave Beck-Hamm a “menace to the road” and prohibited him from driving for six months after the athlete was spied talking on a mobile phone while driving his Bentley.

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Funny story: Zany Slummer: Boycott Windy's: “They're a bunch of cocks!”

Zany Slummer: Boycott Windy's: “They're a bunch of cocks!”

Zany Slummer, a comedienne and wannabe actress, who identifies as a bird, took to Twit yesterday to tweet her call for a boycott of Windy's. She sought to initiate the boycott because she is expecting to deliver a boy named Cott and because she thoug...

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Funny story: Judges: Ohio illegal, at least on paper

Judges: Ohio illegal, at least on paper

A panel of three federal judges weighed in on a, uh, weighty matter, when they ruled, unanimously, that a map of Ohio is “unconstitutional.” Writing for the majority, B. Czaro, who asked to remain anonymous, wrote, “We are convinced that this diag...

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Funny story: New TV series to go where most shows have gone before

New TV series to go where most shows have gone before

Hollyweird, Californicate – For five or six months now, the world has waited, with bated breath, to learn just how Jordy Pee will handle the reboot of Rod Sterling's iconic television series The Dusky Region. Well, we need wait and wonder no longe...

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Funny story: A celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)

A celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)

Actor Tom Banks, whose net worth is estimated at $350 million, give or take a million, played Santa Claus at an N-n-Out Boogers in Fontana, Californicate, treating his fans to a free lunch. “Order anything you want,” he told his devotees. “Money i...

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Funny story: Prosecutors look the other way in Seagull case

Prosecutors look the other way in Seagull case

La La Land—Prosecutors in La La Land (aka Los Angeles) announced that martial arts expert and occasional “actor” Steven Seagull will not be prosecuted for a 2002 sexual assault he (allegedly) committed against a former model. According to the mode...

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Funny story: Bautista bugged by namesake

Bautista bugged by namesake

It seems safe (at first) to assume that entomologist Boob Anders is not a Jose Bautista fan. The scientist, who works for the Canadian Museum Au Naturel, gave the former Toronto Blue Jays star a dubious honor, the “distinction” of naming a bug after...

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Funny story: Wolfe: no longer WHCA's comedienne in sheep's clothing

Wolfe: no longer WHCA's comedienne in sheep's clothing

D-list has-been “comedienne” Michelle Wolfe, who was born, some say, in Hershey Highway, Pennsylvania, in a back alley between a brothel and a homeless campsite, is incensed (or “pissed,” as she says) that the White House Correspondents Association (...

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Funny story: Fans react to disparaging remarks about Stan Lee: "It's clobbering time!"

Fans react to disparaging remarks about Stan Lee: "It's clobbering time!"

Has-been transgender "celebrity" Bill Mayor recently tried to change careers, trading in (some would say trading on) his dubious career as a “comedienne” by becoming a literary critic. After disparaging television comedy as “fit only for kids and...

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Funny story: Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Alleged man allegedly arrested for alleged crime

Richard Puttup-Yur Dukes, allegedly an All-Tuna, Pennsylvania, man was allegedly arrested for alleged cruelty to animals after he allegedly punched a police officer in the face. The officer was allegedly responding to a call concerning Dukes's all...

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