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Christian Apologetics

Jerry Falwell Jr. and Franklin Graham recently had a press conference at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to answer questions about the evangelical Right's continued support for Donald J. Trump, despite his perceived un-Christian practices i...

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Your Language Lesson of the Week

This week, the difference between 'continuously' and 'continually'. 'Continually' means occuring again and again, as in: "He irritated her continually day after day. She considered a divorce. Was it worth the time and effort to cultivate a relationship that seemed to be doomed to failure? She couldn't decide." 'Continuously' means occuring without a break, as in: "He irritated her continuou...

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Plastic Free Markets

Funny story: Plastic Free Markets

A food market in Amsterdam announced a special aisle in its store that will contain exactly zero plastic packaging. The global epidemic of plastic pollution of our oceans and lands has spurred an effort to reduce our use of unnecessary plastic wrappi...

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Deep in the bowel of the stately building that houses the United States Congress lies the little-known CBR -- the Congressional Ball Repository. (The CBR is, in fact, actually located below the bowel.) The balls of incumbent Senators and Representatives are stored in a small, dusty, and damp concrete chamber where they roll around on rough pine shelves and wither and dry out over time. The long...

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It's in the Book.

You can look it up. It may seem harsh, but calling your father-in-law a fool makes you liable to the fires of hell. After all, he may have been conned by the lies and empty promises, duped by a charismatic scam artist, or confused by the self-contradictory rhetoric. He may have a disability that diminishes his powers of reason and understanding. Let's have a little empathy here, folks. But. Now...

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Business Euphemism of the Year

The new model started with tech companies like Net Flix and LinkedIn. These workplaces attract self-motivated and focused employees who are driven to succeed and who typically work long hours. These employees are also the type who are reluctant to ta...

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Funny story: ESCHeW DRAKOOLA

Outside, on a pleasant evening, the quiet lot of parked Volvos and Priuses seemed at peace. But inside the small church basement, it was a scene of heartbreak as parents poured out their hearts to one another. "I don't understand," one mother cried. "I marched in Selma and protested the Viet Nam war and now my forty-year-old son has gone over to the dark side. I can understand his resentment at...

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John Barron to Speak at Republican National Convention

Funny story: John Barron to Speak at Republican National Convention

Among the list of notables scheduled to speak at this year's RNC in Cleveland is John Barron, a man who is alleged to be actually an alter-ego of Donald Trump himself. "It's his greatest con ever!", exclaimed Jody Miller, thrice-convicted grifter...

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Now You Can Release Your Inner Trump

It used to be, you had to keep it all inside. Mommy said, "Play nice or you'll get a time-out." Well, you didn't want to play nice. You wanted to punch little Jimmy in the face and call little Susie an ugly whore. But you couldn't or Mommy or Teacher or Mr Policeman would make you face the consequences of your actions. So what did you do? You played 'Grand Theft Auto' and 'Call of Duty' to subl...

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The New, Improved Pledge of Allegiance

Funny story: The New, Improved Pledge of Allegiance

As it now stands, the Pledge of Allegiance as commonly recited in schools and at sporting events and political rallies is too simple and easy. One can chew on it without really tasting the Constitution. It allows one to dress up in the flag feeling all patriotic, self-righteous, and godly when one may be, in reality, venal and totally corrupt. Therefore, this New Pledge of Allegiance is propose...

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Ghost in the Machine

Due to be released for sales in November, Mattel's Hello Barbie will feature deep artificial intelligence, much like Apple's Siri. With a WiFi connection, Hello Barbie will generate 8000+ responses and hopes to become your little girl's best friend. In the past, Mattel has come in for much criticism for reinforcing stereotypical attitudes in young girls rather than expanding the possibilities o...

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New Jersey Considers

The state of New Jersey has been in a declining economic situation for some time. The gaming industry has fallen on hard times, jobs are still moving overseas, and the effects of storm Sandy are still being felt. Budget cuts are a large factor in...

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California EPA Endorses Beer Pee

Due to the ongoing water crisis in California, CalEPA has taken an unusual step in promoting the recycling of beer pee. They claim that the liquid may be classified as potable if certain conditions are met. They note that by the time three or more...

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Electoral Commission Achieves Perfect Entropy

Entropy is the tendency of all thermodynamic processes to end in a steady state of perfect disorder wherein no useful work can be accomplished. All matter will eventually be evenly dispersed at a temperature of about 4 degrees above absolute zero, bu...

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Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Jeopardy! has been around since 1984, with 25 million regular viewers who try their best to shout out their own responses to the clues before the contestants. We marvel at Jeopardy! superstars like Ken Jennings, who held the champion spot for an incr...

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Nobel Peace Prize

Milton Jones, of Mobile, Alabama, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The diminutive 72 year-old man has seemingly distilled all the tenets of all the religions of the world to just three words. This is significant when you consider the amo...

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VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

Funny story: VITRIOL [paid advertisement]

Are you feeling left out of the action? Is the world passing you by without you being able to make any kind of difference? Are you full of discontent with the political situation in America but have neither the time nor the inclination to delve into the relevant issues to find out what's really going on? Well, fear not! The solution is at hand. VITRIOL (reg. trademark) from BS Laboratories c...

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Mario Batali Detained

Funny story: Mario Batali Detained

The famous chef was arrested last week for being a suspected illegal immigrant and was remanded to a federal detention facility in Georgia. Mr. Batali was hosting a celebrity-chef cook-off in a studio at the Food Network when he was forcibly remov...

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