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The Jury is out, but the jurors are clueless

Funny story: The Jury is out, but the jurors are clueless

In an unprecedented legal quandary this week, an entire jury was deemed unfit for service and thrown out by the judge. Journalists discarded all courteous behaviour as they shoved, elbowed and kicked their way to the Court entrance in a bid to interv...

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Brendan Cockup: "Impressive Deception," says PM Cameroon

Funny story: Brendan Cockup: "Impressive Deception," says PM Cameroon

As detectives continue to pursue Willie Bodgem through the Bolivian outback, Scotland Yard is preparing to send back-up officers to La Paz today. Police throughout the country are struggling to deal with the amount of information being brought forwar...

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Neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem flees to Bolivia, but the game is up

Funny story: Neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem flees to Bolivia, but the game is up

Following allegations of catastrophic surgical procedures, detectives at Scotland Yard are anxious to locate Dublin neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem. Managers at Beaumont Hospital have distanced themselves from the consultant, telling police that "Mr B...

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Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Funny story: Crap Towns attract a range of dodgy characters

Following the dubious award of Top Crap Town UK for the fifth year running, the residents of Baconsthorpe seem to have embraced the notoriety of their depressing abode. Mayor Jimmy (The Knife) Roberto has taken out a full page advertisement this...

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Penis dropped off? That won't faze the sea slug

Funny story: Penis dropped off? That won't faze the sea slug

World experts in the field of natural sciences have today been dumbfounded by the sensational news that the sea slug has a detachable penis. This unassuming little critter swims about aimlessly until an attractive female enters the picture. The ma...

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William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either

Funny story: William Shatner or Captain Kirk? Turns out he didn't know either

'Trekkies' the world over can barely contain their excitement following a sensational find at a major Hollywood studio this week. Kirk's famous 'Captain's Log', it seems, was a real document. The studio has already released excerpts from the journal...

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HRH, Dame Judi and 007: the story just gets better

Funny story: HRH, Dame Judi and 007: the story just gets better

A statement issued today by a Palace spokesman has added nothing but confusion to the story of the Queen vs. Dame Judi, or 'Lizziegate' as it is now known. The spokesman denied emphatically that the Queen had anything to do with the reported inci...

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Queen's outrageous behaviour threatens monarchy

Funny story: Queen's outrageous behaviour threatens monarchy

Highly sensitive information has emerged this week about an alleged 'altercation' between Dame Judi Dench and the Queen.'Serious concerns' about the Monarch's behaviour have been expressed by Prime Minister Dave (JammieDodger) Cameroon. Circumstances...

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'Alzheimer Avoidance' surgery is a scam

Funny story: 'Alzheimer Avoidance' surgery is a scam

The removal of Ozzy Osborne's entire brain in recent ground-breaking 'Alzheimer Avoidance' surgery has been hailed as a stroke of genius. Neurosurgeons worldwide have called the audacious surgery - designed and implemented by Mr Adam Spoofery of Sa...

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Louis Walsh brain implant rejected, say medics

Funny story: Louis Walsh brain implant rejected, say medics

The heady days of measurable cerebral activity are over for brain implant recipient Louis Walsh, according to Senior Neurologist Willie Bodgem. After several desperate attempts to reconnect disrupted neurotransmitters, Bodgem emerged from Beaumont Ho...

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New brain: "I'm living the dream," says Louis

Funny story: New brain: "I'm living the dream," says Louis

Looking tired but relaxed, Louis Walsh emerged this afternoon from Beaumont Hospital with neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem at his side. Louis waved enthusiastically to no-one in particular as a Private Eye reporter waited, hungry for the first utterance fr...

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Cowell: "It's a no brainer"

Funny story: Cowell: "It's a no brainer"

X Factor Overlord Simon Cowell has finally broken his silence on Louis Walsh's controversial brain implant with characteristically blunt analysis. "Even with the brain of a hamster," mocked the Overlord, "Louis couldn't manage a band of teenage roden...

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Brain implant for Louis Walsh

Funny story: Brain implant for Louis Walsh

A spokesperson from Beaumont Hospital in Dublin confirmed that a small brain implant was successfully performed on X Factor judge Louis Walsh yesterday. The latest information from the hospital suggests that Walsh is recovering well after surgery.

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Breaking news…

BREAKING NEWS!

Man In a Really Dark Place Finally Figures Out How to Use the Flashlight on His Cellphone.
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