The Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, has banned the drug Cialis which, as one of the justices in the majority wrote, “Basically makes horny old men into incessant boneheads.” “Women,” noted Supreme Court Justice Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (one of…
The Kentucky Legislature, with a supermajority of Republicans, is proposing a law that every citizen’s birth date, from (the Bill in part reads) “the year of our Lord 2024, shall be set at the moment of conception.” Opponents to the Republican B…
Adjacent Press--In a mega-move sure to attract supporters of the Once and Future Dictator, FOX will offer for fall 2023 their newest reality show, The Most Eligible Neo-Fascist. The show will feature several rising Neo-Fascists in the Republican Par…
Corinthians 13:4-8 (from the DJTV) 4 Trump is not patient, Trump is not kind. He envies everyone, he boasts like a drunken soldier, he is proud. 5 He dishonors others, he is self-seeking, he is easily angered, he keeps a long record of wrongs. 6 T…
It’s My Party and I’ll Deny If I Want To (with apologies to the lovely Lesley Gore) It's my Party, and I'll deny if I want to Deny if I want to Deny if I want to You would deny too, if it happened to you. Everyone knows Donald Trump was…
“Wha—Where are my glasses? A tsunami in Tonga? Where the fuck’s ‘Tonga’? Russian forces massing on Ukraine’s border? What the hell?” These are only some of the many questions the caretakers of an increasingly senescent Supreme Being have overhea…
Nazi Man, Nazi Man, Does whatever a Nazi can. Spins his lies, any size, Attracts more Nazis, just like flies. Look Out! Here comes the Nazi Man. Is he wrong? Listen bud, He's got White Supremacist blood. Can he swing from a thread? Take…
(To be sung to the melody of "Frosty the Snowman") Donald the Con Man was a pissy mean old fool With a fake orange face and a bulbous nose And two eyes without a soul. Donald the Con Man is a sordid tale, they say. He was made of dough but the…
(To be sung to the melody of “One Tin Soldier”) Listen children to a story That was told not long ago ‘Bout a rich guy on a mountain And his workers far below. On the mountain was a treasure Where the white guy paid no tax ‘Cause our tax law…
Associated Press--Details leaked out today that at a support group for anger management for deities, one of its attendees, the Universe, was heard to admit while tearing up that he was “so sorry” for the 689 million people worldwide who still live in…
Washington, D. C.--Minority leader Kevin McCarthy today announced that Marjorie Taylor Greene, in light of her recent statement comparing mask wearing mandates nationwide to Jews being persecuted in Nazi Germany, would be reassigned from her committe…
(With apologies to Maurice Sendak) The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another, Ben Sasse called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I’LL OVERTURN A DEMOCRATIC AND FAIR ELECTION!” So he stomped off to the Senate chamber to…
(To be sung to the tune of Spider Man) Spreader Man, Spreader Man, Deadly neighborhood Spreader Man. Spreads his lies, any size, Treats his supporters just like flies. Look out! There goes the Spreader Man. Is he cured? Listen bud, His d…
SHEOL—Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the new Press Secretary for Satan, announced today that the Dark Lord is opening a new circle in Hell, specifically for the overflow of Evangelicals who have been flooding His underworld domain ever since the 2016 electi…
We beg your pardon, we never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there's got to be a lot of death sometimes. When a pandemic strikes you got to die and let go! “It is what it is,” ‘cause Donald never promised you a rose garden.
Commercial for Hydroxychloroqen, with President Trump standing in a Right Maid drugstore, at a counter, without a mask. Do you have concerns about mild memory loss related to aging or illness? Hydroxychloroqen is the number 1 pharmacist-recomme...
Washington, DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday, and has been diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder, the symptoms of which include an orange, puffy face, a predilection to sit on the toilet a...
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