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Do The Winter Olympics Suck Large Turds?

Funny story: Do The Winter Olympics Suck Large Turds?

With the games drudging past the half way mark, the international enthusiasm for everyone's favorite team is starting to wane, which has our sports reporter asking this very important question: Do the winter Olympics suck a large steaming dog turd?...

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Al Gore Releases 3rd Movie, "An Inconvenient Bitch Session"

Funny story: Al Gore Releases 3rd Movie, "An Inconvenient Bitch Session"

Tennessee Somewhere - Al Gore has just released his 3rd movie regarding climate change, and people are really buzzing about this latest effort, "An Inconvenient Bitch Session." In this movie (if you can call it that) Gore takes a bit of a left tur...

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Move over FitBit - Introducing tbe ShitFitBit, for Toddlers.

Funny story: Move over FitBit - Introducing tbe ShitFitBit, for Toddlers.

San Jose, CA - Riding the wave of the rise in popularity of fitness trackers, one popular fitness-tracking company is set to release its latest product, ShitFitBit, which is designed to keep track of all your crazy toddler's shit-fits. "Many frant...

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Bizarre Bjork Songs Confess Tour Killing Spree

Funny story: Bizarre Bjork Songs Confess Tour Killing Spree

Reykjavk, Iceland - Authorities at the very small and very cold police station in the Icelandic Capitol are hesitant to drive their ice-mobiles up to the ice castle on the mountain ledge overlooking town, to arrest the queen of the village, avant-gar...

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Pro Golfer Kills Moose With Calloway's New Epic Driver

Funny story: Pro Golfer Kills Moose With Calloway's New Epic Driver

Erin Hills, Wisconsin. Chip Fairway, reporting live from the 117th U.S. Open Golf Tournament. After having my PGA Media credentials reinstated, I am happy to be reporting from a live event for the first time in quiet some time. Through some con...

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Max Headroom Remembers Dating iphone's Siri In College

Funny story: Max Headroom Remembers Dating iphone's Siri In College

Los Angeles, CA - Max Headroom never imagined that the girl he once dated in college, a nerdy know-it-all named Siri, would go on to become the voice of Apple's iphone. We sat down with the '80's icon, who was dumbfounded by her success. "I j-j-j...

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Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo

Funny story: Drug Addicts Fund A Kick-Starter Account To Free El Chapo

Everytown, U.S.A - Coke heads, crack heads, pill freaks and heroin junkies have all banded together in support of freeing their beloved El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord, from prison, by opening a Kick-Starter page. "Our goal is to raise enough mone...

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Russian Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear Stuffies Are A Christmas Must-Have!

Funny story: Russian Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear Stuffies Are A Christmas Must-Have!

Burlington, VT - Vermont's Build-A-Bear Workshop hasn't had a Christmas season this profitable in a long, long time. And it's all thanks to their two Russian hacking bears! Yes, it seems that America (mostly republicans) has gone completely wild f...

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Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

Funny story: Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

North Pole, Arctic - Rudolph is not apologizing for his recent weekend Twitter rampage, stating that he will not be forced to drop presents off in Aleppo, Syria. Sighting claims that it is far too dangerous to go anywhere near the bombed-out city...

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Tokyo Unveils 2020 Mascots - Sex Dolls!

Funny story: Tokyo Unveils 2020 Mascots - Sex Dolls!

Tokyo, Japan - In a move that greatly saddened Hello Kitty lovers across Japan, the Tokyo committee announced on Friday that they have decided to go with two inflatable sex dolls, as the mascots for 2020. Head of the committee, Titzi Wowhi, stated...

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Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

Funny story: Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

New York, New York - Proving to the world once again that he is, indeed, still alive, crooner Tony Bennett releases the 500th Christmas album in his nauseating yule tide collection. This latest one is called, I'm A Christmas Whore - There, I Said It!...

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TV Painter, Bob Ross, Actually Really Hated Meadows and Streams

Funny story: TV Painter, Bob Ross, Actually Really Hated Meadows and Streams

Bob Ross became an instant TV celebrity with his easy-to-follow painting techniques on PBS in the late '80's. But now his long time Cameraman, Arty Rivers, has written a tell-all memoir about the painting zen-master, who actually detested nature in g...

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Kanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone

Funny story: Kanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone

Los Angeles, CA - After his recent concert meltdown, rapper Kanye West is being treated for an extreme case of the 'Rubber Ramada Blues' at UCLA hospital. His Doctors state that he is 'nuttier than a fruitcake' and that he will only speak to them us...

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Mother Nature Picketing God Outside Pearly Gates Over Labor Rights

Funny story: Mother Nature Picketing God Outside Pearly Gates Over Labor Rights

Pearly Gates, Heaven - Mother Nature tips back her raggedy leaf-crown in front of God's famous gates, refusing to go to arbitration over their on-going dispute regarding her wage package. The wand-waving Disastress has been very vocal over the last s...

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Bob Dylan Secretly Longs For Teen Choice Award

Funny story: Bob Dylan Secretly Longs For Teen Choice Award

New York, NY - After being announced as the winner of the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize for groovy songs, sources close to legendary songwriter, Bob Dylan, say that all he really wants is a surfboard trophy from the Teen Choice Awards. "Mr. Dylan couldn'...

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5K Charity Walk To Stamp Out Hunger In L.A. Totally Works!

Funny story: 5K Charity Walk To Stamp Out Hunger In L.A. Totally Works!

Los Angeles, CA - A 5K charity walk to end hunger in Los Angeles has done the job. 100% problem solved! There are now no more hungry people anywhere in the entire city of L.A.! Go look for yourself. Head Walk Organizer, Debbie Zimmerfeet, explaine...

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Hacked Robotic Leg To Blame In London Kicking Rampage

Funny story: Hacked Robotic Leg To Blame In London Kicking Rampage

London, UK, England - You can buy anything and connect it to the internet these days; TV's and microwaves, toilets and toasters. Even the latest artificial leg comes with online capabilities and is part of our new world's Internet Of Things. Now,...

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California Offers "You're Fired!" Voting Method

Funny story: California Offers "You're Fired!" Voting Method

Sacramento, Calif - The California State Assembly approved a controversial new voting system late Monday night, now known as the "You're Fired!" voting method. "It's so easy and convenient," explained Democratic Chairperson Amy Thumbsdown. "You c...

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