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Spoof stories written by David Sapsted

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Mitt Romney - exclusive interview

In an exclusive interview with Mitt Romney, The Spoof probes the presidential hopeful's position on Syria. Or, at least, we tried to... DS: What do you think of Syria's plight and what should the US be doing about it? MR: I guessed this would come up because I heard someone - Walter Cronkite, I believe - mention it briefly on TV. Let me make it quite clear that I do not believe the situ...

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MPs sickened by Vertigo

A British poll that resulted in Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo being named as the greatest film of all time has caused outrage in the British parliament. Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt agreed to demands yesterday from furious MPs for a judicial inq...

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Assange fury after emails hacked

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is planning to quit his refuge in the Ecuadorean embassy in London after accusing officials there of reading his emails. Assange, who ran screaming into the embassy in June claiming asylum in a bid to avoid ext...

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Andy Carroll "gotta talk proper" after West Ham move

Prolific* England striker Andy Carroll is to receive intensive linguistics training as part of his £2 million loan move from Liverpool to West Ham. One of the reasons for Carroll's lack of success at Liverpool following his £35 million move f...

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My Week by Usain Bolt (as imagined by David Sapsted)

SATURDAY, JULY 28: Absolutely exhausted! Had to carry the Jamaican flag halfway round the stadium at the Olympics opening ceremony last night. Never knew that travelling 200 metres could be so exhausting. Poked myself in the groin with the flag pole when I tried, unsuccessfully, to strike my Lightning Bolt pose, as requested by my Canadian sponsors, Lightning Rotors Inc. The Arctic Monkeys perform...

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Team GB storms off over soccer flag mix-up

Britain's football team stormed off the pitch before their opening Olympics clash against Senegal on Thursday after the players' pictures were displayed on a video screen alongside the flag of Scotland. The contest at Old Trafford in Manchest...

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Pigs will fly at Olympics opener

Director Danny Boyle has controversially agreed to demands from leading animal rights groups to drop live animals at Friday's opening ceremony of the London Olympics. Unfortunately for the animal rights lobby, he appears to have taken their ex...

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