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Spoof stories written by Quentin Muffin

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Funny story: The Diary of a Shit (Being the desultory ramblings, musings and observations of one, Quentin Muffin)

The Diary of a Shit (Being the desultory ramblings, musings and observations of one, Quentin Muffin)

And so it has come to pass that Freddie (the fallen) Starr has felt the long reaching grip of the law upon his nape. Certainly, Mr. Starr has put himself through the mill recently; even appearing on breakfast television and placing himself before those great upholders of moral rectitude; Schofield and Willoughby. Hasn't the man suffered enough? How easy it must seem to him now, as he f...

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Funny story: Scots - The mothers of invention?

Scots - The mothers of invention?

Following last weeks extraordinary revelations made by Sean Connery and Alex Ferguson that the Scots invented the world and the wind, during their love-in with Andy Murray, we asked you yesterday how much you know about Scottish inventions? Here are the answers. How did you do?? Anaesthetics. TRUE Most doctors are Scots and still employ the technique of putting patients to sleep by droning...

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Funny story: Elvis Presley's Underpants don't get a sniff

Elvis Presley's Underpants don't get a sniff

Yesterday, Elvis Presley's Bible and a pair of his underpants went under the hammer at Sothebys. Unsurprisingly, the stained pair of undies failed to sell while the Bible sold for a staggering 50,000 pounds. The underpants are sealed in a glass case...

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Funny story: Margaret Thatcher wakes up with a Scottish Accent

Margaret Thatcher wakes up with a Scottish Accent

Last month it was reported that Christopholous Theothopolous, aka George Michael, suffered a curious malady whereby he awoke from his pneumonic slumbers to find that he now spoke in a west country accent. Since then, we can tell you that the Hellenic...

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Funny story: Korean flag mix up causes a flap

Korean flag mix up causes a flap

One of the first events of the London Olympic games nearly ended before it started after a hilarious mix up with the Korean flag; apparently they have two. The North Korean women's team walked off after a video introducing their players showed th...

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Funny story: Stephen Hawking surprise selection for Team GB squad.

Stephen Hawking surprise selection for Team GB squad.

Stephen Hawking, world famous for his robotic voice*, has been selected for the Team GB Olympic squad. While this may come as a surprise to many it hasn't for the Professor who said "Why not? Sports psychologists are always saying that excellence in...

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Funny story: Boyfriend Splashes Partner with Sauce after reading Fifty shades of Shite

Boyfriend Splashes Partner with Sauce after reading Fifty shades of Shite

Raymond Hedgehog, 45, was charged with common assault today after being appalled that his girlfriend, Emma McDormouse, had been reading the racy book. Derby magistrates court heard how the tiff over the best-selling novel ended up with him getting to...

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Funny story: Tony Blair to make a Comeback!

Tony Blair to make a Comeback!

Tony Blair, the erstwhile choreographer and television presenter, could be set for a dramatic comeback after he left our screens some years ago. Away from mainstream publicity, Mr. Blair has been touring the Middle East promoting his successful o...

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Funny story: Gutarist's Son says he's learned his lesson

Gutarist's Son says he's learned his lesson

Charles Philmore, son of lead guitarist Dave "Mr Happy" Philmore of the prog-rock behemoths Purple Cloud, walked free from prison today after spending three  of his six month sentence for inciting indolence. Charlie, dressed in knee length buckle boo...

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Funny story: Murray Crashes Out For England

Murray Crashes Out For England

Braveheart Murray displayed his English credentials against Federer yesterday as he sobbed after defeat and accepted the "oh so nearly" title of runner up in the Wimbledon final. Andy Murray, has been taking a bit of stick recently after his jibe som...

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