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FDA: Cloned animals "safe-ish" to eat

Funny story: FDA: Cloned animals "safe-ish" to eat

Washington, DC - The Food and Drug Administration today declared that cloned and other genetically modified livestock are "probably" fit for human consumption.

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Stunning Stat: 5 percent of Americans Virgins on Wedding Day

Funny story: Stunning Stat: 5 percent of Americans Virgins on Wedding Day

New York - Statisticians and researchers are scratching their collective heads over this one - as many as five percent of Americans have not had sexual relations prior to their marriage. A visibly shaken President Bush has vowed to work with Congres...

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Sony Plans Next Major Marketing Missteps

Funny story: Sony Plans Next Major Marketing Missteps

Foster City, Calif. - Fresh from the recent Alliwantforxmasisapsp.com debacle and on the heels of their ill-conceived attempt to use YouTube, Sony marketing executives outlined new, even more foolhardy plans. Following what one participant described...

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Shameful Shocker: Identity of Dolphin Diner Disclosed - World's Tallest Man Fin Fiend!

Funny story: Shameful Shocker: Identity of Dolphin Diner Disclosed - World's Tallest Man Fin Fiend!

Beijing - Contrary to earlier reports, the diner who ate the last remaining Chinese white dolphin - or bajji - was not a westerner but was, in fact, Bao Xishun, the 7 foot nine inch herder from Inner Mongolia. Bao, the world's tallest man, attem...

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China's white dolphin: tasted great, now extinct

Funny story: China's white dolphin: tasted great, now extinct

BEIJING, China - One lucky diner enjoyed a special treat yesterday when he ate what scientists confirm was the last of China's rare white dolphin. In an effort to promote tourism and China's unique cuisine, officials raffled off the opportun...

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A Vengeful God Visits Seattle

Funny story: A Vengeful God Visits Seattle

SEATAC, Washington - Over the past weekend, officials at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport angered God by removing 14 plastic Christmas trees intended to celebrate the birth of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. After two day of prayerful reflection...

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USA Rocket Blasts Off!

Funny story: USA Rocket Blasts Off!

Today a rocket ship from the USA went zooming off into outer space. When the rocket blasted off, there was a lot of flames, smoke and sparks. Inside the rocket were a bunch of astronauts. These heroic fliers are some of the greatest Americans that...

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GOP unveils new "You're Busy, Why Bother?" campaign

Funny story: GOP unveils new "You're Busy, Why Bother?" campaign

WASHINGTON, DC - Still smarting from last month's midterm rebuke, the Republican National Committee has introduced a new campaign it hopes will suppress voter turnout in the future. Entitled, "You're Busy, Why Bother?," the multili...

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President Bush to Deploy NRA to Iraq

Funny story: President Bush to Deploy NRA to Iraq

WASHINGTON, DC - In an effort to staunch the continuing violence in Iraq, the White House has announced plans to send a team of special NRA advisers to Baghdad in the coming weeks. These teams will work with local law enforcement and citizens' g...

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U.S. Senate Passes "Ann Coulter Amendment"

Funny story: U.S. Senate Passes "Ann Coulter Amendment"

Washington, DC - In a surprising example of election year bipartisanship, Republicans and Democrats put aside their differences to unanimously pass the "Ann Coulter Amendment." Named for conservative pundit Anne Coulter, the proposed Amendment would...

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Jesus Saves at Wal-Mart!

Laurel, Md. - Someone special has been shopping at the Wal-Mart at 3549 Russett Green in Laurel. This past Thursday, none other than Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was again seen pushing His cart through the store's broad aisles. This has become a r...

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Chicken Selects Linked to Workplace Violence

Funny story: Chicken Selects Linked to Workplace Violence

OAK BROOK, IL - McDonald's executives today confirmed that sales of the company's new Chicken Selects chicken breast strips are down following their being banned by several major US corporations. The bans have been sparked by several instances of vi...

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World Mourns the Passing of Nipsey Russell

Funny story: World Mourns the Passing of Nipsey Russell

New York - As the world struggles to deal with the losses to two great 1960s funnymen - Bob Denver and Don Adams - death has mercilessly struck again, this time claiming Nipsey Russell at age 80. Perhaps best known for his versified responses on pop...

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Beer to be sold by "The Bladder"

Funny story: Beer to be sold by "The Bladder"

Washington, DC - Morgan Ray loves his beer, it's figuring out how much to drink that he has trouble with. "Twelve ounces, 16 ounces, a pint," mused the 39-year-old delivery driver from Queens, NY, "what does that stuff all mean anyway?" Today, the...

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Larry King Dead

Funny story: Larry King Dead

New York, NY - In stunning disclosure during yesterday's broadcast of "Larry King Live" on CNN, host Larry King acknowledge that he was dead and had been for the past eight years. CNN immediately cut to commercials and returned from the break with a...

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President Bush: "E Pluribus Bonham!"

Funny story: President Bush: "E Pluribus Bonham!"

Washington, DC - With the 25th anniversary of the death of Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham fast approach (September 25th), President Bush has proposed legislation to modify the motto of the United States in honor of Mr. Bonham's death.

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Supreme Court - Property not so private anymore

Funny story: Supreme Court - Property not so private anymore

Washington, DC - In a stunning decision which harkens to the writings of French anarchist Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (who coined the slogan "property is theft"), the US Supreme Court has ruled that local governments can seize private property for private...

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CIA chief has 'excellent idea' where bin Laden is hiding

Washington, DC - Porter Goss, the recently appointed director of the CIA says he has an "excellent idea" as to the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. In an interview with TIME magazine, Goss repeatedly made this claim but claimed that capturing the al...

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