"You can imagine my shock as I saw two Black Hawk helicopters landing in the Ikea overflow car park followed by a horde of heavily armed black clad and masked figures making a beeline for the main entrance. I was thinking terrorist attack." So said s…
Hospital insider, Paxton Quigley, who wishes to remain anonymous, has revealed in confidence to The Spoof, how some episodes of 24 Hours in A&E were deemed unfit for public broadcast by the hospital, due to their graphic, deeply upsetting content…
"Get back in t'kitchen." "Tha knows nowt about football." "Put t'kettle on, lass." No, we don't know what these mean either, but apparently they were some of the online insults aimed at Karen Carney after a Leeds club tweet questioned her commen…
"We will be forever grateful to Nigel Farage and that one meeting he attended while sitting on the EU's fisheries committee for eight years. If he hadn't been on our side we would have been sold down the river. He fully deserves his £75,000 pa EU pen…
I know he has a tough job, and has the nickname "Door Matt", but to see him there in that position was a shock, I can tell you. It was just after the first lockdown, when people could start to mix again in small numbers, and my girlfriend and I de…
I'd had an allotment in Islington for a few years, and other allotment owners had warned me about security, saying that theft was a problem. I didn't believe it, at first. I mean, who wants to steal small amounts of home-grown fruit and vegetables…
It's certainly one in the eye for those anti-vaxxer idiots! Just imagine how they will be queuing up for it now! I’m talking, of course, of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. I was one of the 20,000 volunteers given the vaccine in its trials - after a…
That arse Johnson is supposedly a serial shagger, but I gave him a dose of his own medicine. It was several years ago, and it went on for a while. Bozo's wife was mightily pissed off at his never-ending peccadillos, and she wanted to get her own b…
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…
As a social experiment, The Spoof is offering its readers a one-off opportunity, in its on-line quiz, to see if you're bound for heaven or destined for eternal damnation. The Pope is due in town, and the local populace is getting excited. a) Do y...
Throughout the early 1960s, in darkened rooms, an astonished nation would peer at its flickering black and white “television sets” on a regular basis at peak viewing times, aghast at what it was seeing. Before the populace’s very eyes, both young and...
A man has unexpectedly and unwittingly discovered how to travel through time. Joachim Arschloch, who lives with his ageing mother in the small Austrian town of Schweinwank on the River Danube, has recounted how he made his discovery to The Spoof's...
Panicked Downing Street sycophants and lickspittles were said to be running around in circles this morning, as America's ambassador to the UK said relations between the UK and the US are going to be "sensational" now that Boris Johnson is nominally i...
Charlatan. Liar. Narcissist. Unfit. Shambolic. Ramshackle. Incompetent. Arsehole. These are a few of the kinder epithets which have been thrown at Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson over the years, yet, somehow, today he finds himself ensconced b...
Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...
Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...
In a joint investigation with convicted holocaust denier and Nazi "historian" David Irving, The Spoof has managed to discover the whereabouts of the hitherto unpublished diary of Adolf Hitler's floozy, simple country girl Eva Braun. The full dia...
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